Page 46 of Finding Solace
"I'm trusting mygut."
By the somber look on my friend's face, I'd say what she did here wasn't for Quinn, but forEmerson.
* * *
The next afternoonI'm sitting on the living room floor going through some boxes of photo albums while Reid and Ava sit on the floor next to me playing go fish. The first album I come to is Ava's baby book. I smile. I haven't look at these pictures in a longtime.
"Whatcha got there,babe?"
I hold the book up and show him, "Ava's baby book. You want to look withme?"
"Yeah, Kitten, I'd loveto."
Not interested in what Reid and I are doing, Ava cuts in, "Momma, can I watch mymovie?"
"Sure, sweetheart. The DVD is already in the player, all you have to do is press play. You remember what button I showed you topress?"
Nodding her head yes, she bounces down the hall to her room. Standing up from the floor, Reid sits behind me on the sofa, and peers over my shoulder. With the photo album on my lap, I flip to the first page. The first picture is of me, Grams, and Ava the day we arrived in Polson. It was Grams idea to start the album. I had never given much thought to it. My parents didn't have family portraits, and they weren't the type to snap pictures all the time. Not like me. I have hundreds of photos of Ava on my phone. If it wasn't for my grandmother taking pictures of me all those times I stayed with her in the summer growing up; I wouldn't have anything to pass down to my daughter. With each page I flip through Reid listens on intently as I describe in detail how old Ava was or where we were when the pictures were taken. Realizing I have never seen any pictures of his brother or dad I tilt my head back and ask him, "Do you have any pictures of your family? I'd love to see some." I wait with bated breath for hisresponse.
"Yeah, babe. I have a few. I'll go get them," he says before disappearing down the hall to his room. A moment later he returns with what looks like a shoebox. I don't question why he stores them away instead of having them out on display in the house. I know why. The first couple of pictures are of his dad and his mom. His dad is sporting A Kings of Retribution cut, and a blonde-haired woman is standing next to him. I already know about his mom. Reid confided in me one night. He told me how she ran off with another man when he and his brother were little. The next picture is a baby boy who looks to be about a year old. "Is this you?" Iask.
"No, that's my brother. This one is me," he says handing me the nextphoto.
Even if he hadn't told me it was him, I would have guessed, because the young boy in the picture has beautiful green eyes. I'd know those eyes anywhere. "You and your brother don't look too much alike," Iobserve.
"Nah, I look like my Pops, and Noah took after ourmom."
When Reid mentions his brother's name my heart rate picks up. He's never spoken his name before. "Your brother's name isNoah?"
His only response is anod.
Continuing to flip through picture after picture, I feel my mouth godry.
It can't be. Canit?
"Do you have a recent picture of Noah from before he passed away?" I ask with a slight tremble in myvoice.
Reid looks at me with furrowed brows. "Yeah, right here," he says reaching into the box and pulling another photographout.
With shaky hands, I take the picture from him. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath then look at the glossy photo in my hand. The eyes staring back at me are the same eyes I have looked at for the past four years. The same eyes that burned into mine that summer five yearsago.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
REID
Idon't share my memories with anyone. I've kept all but one photo of my family, which is of Noah and I, and it’s located in my office. I've kept the rest of them hidden in a box in the farthest part of my closet. Hiding mypain.
I thought we were enjoying the whole reminiscing thing. I thought she wanted to know more about me. But judging by the way all color has drained from Mila's face, I'm guessing she may be having second thoughts about traveling down memory lane together. Maybe it's too much too soon? "Babe, you alright?" I ask her as I place the old shoebox on the coffeetable.
Her response.Silence.
"Kitten," I say to grab her attention. Her hands are shaking with the photo held tightly in hergrip.
"Five years ago, I was here for the summer with Grams. Every summer I spent here was exciting, but that year…" her thoughts seem to wander as she continues to look down at her lap, "As I told you before, I never went out. No parties. I didn’t hang with kids my age. I usually always spent my time with Grams. Not that she never encouraged me to experience things a normal teenager would love to do. It was just… anyway, that summer before I was to go home I met this guy one afternoon down at the drugstore when I was picking up Grams' medicine. At first, I was shocked he even talked to me," she finally looks up at me, with red-rimmed eyes threatening to spill tears. She is finally opening up to me now. Finally sharing more pieces of herself with me. I urge her to continue by lowering myself to the floor sitting across fromher.
After sucking in a gulp of air, Mila releases it and continues. "He invited me to a small party his friends were throwing him," her lips turn up in a small smile at her memory of that day. "I think he could tell I was going to say no, so he gently grabbed my hand and said please. For the first time, I didn’t overthink anything and I said yes. He gave me the address, and a few hours later I showed up on the doorsteps of a stranger's home nervous and scared out of my mind as to how far out of my comfort zone Iwas."
It never dawned on me until now. All the times she came for the summers I never saw her. No. I would remember seeing her kind of beauty around town. I wouldn't have forgotten anything about her. Perhaps I was so caught up in my own life I merely never noticed. I would have been prospecting at the time, so it's not surprising I didn’t. Back then my days were filled with either working with my pops building houses or paying my dues with the club. I didn’t have too much time for much else thosedays.
