Page 41 of Finding Solace
Ignoring his question, I answer my phone. "Hello?"
"Ms. Vaughn, it's Doctor Hayes. I'm sorry to be calling you at this hour, but…" His words get cut off when I speak. "She's gone, isn't she?" I ask, my voice shaky. I know I'm right. I feel it deep in my bones; with everything I am, I feel it. Grams is gone. "Yes, Ms. Vaughn. I'msorry."
Those are the last words I hear Dr. Hayes say before I lose my grip on the phone and it falls to the floor. A second later I let out a strangled cry before Reid's strong arms engulf me. We don't speak, he knows without asking and just holds me. For hours he embraces me and lets me cry until my body finally gives out and I can no longer weep. Sitting in the middle of his bed, Reid holds me as I stare blankly out the bedroom window watching as the sun rises over the mountain and the warm sun shines through casting a blanket of heat over our fused bodies. Lost in the stillness of the moment, I think back to what Grams used to always say,Don't pray for God to change what is because he has a plan. Pray for him to give you strength to make itthrough.
* * *
The past fourdays have gone by in a blur. Reid and the club once again stepped up and were quick to help in any way they could. At one point I even apologized to Reid. I feel like his life has been chaos ever since I stepped foot into his house for the first time. He quickly shot down my apology and informed me he would tan my ass if he ever heard me say shit like that again. It meant the world to me he was willing to stick with me through all the bumps in the road. There are few men like him out in the world. Most people might haul ass; not Reid. I'm learning it's not in hisnature.
Grams funeral was quick. She already had arrangements in place, and everything paid for. My grandmother thought of everything. The whole club showed up along with her longtime nurse from the nursing home. I even caught a glimpse of River in the back of the crowd. Reid, of course, was by my side holding my hand while Ava was tucked in his arm as we lay my grandmother to rest alongside my grandfather. I stood in front of the crowd and said a few words about who Charlotte Scott was and recanted a couple of my favorite memories of her. In the end, I did as Grams requested. I kept it short andsweet.
The cemetery cleared, everyone heading to Logan and Bella's house because she and Lisa insisted on handling the wake. I stayed behind to watch as they lower my grandmother; the slow descent into the earth making her death more final. Tearing my eyes away from the hole in the ground, I lift my face towards the sky; I see the sun setting. It dawns on me why my grandmother chose this time of day for her funeral. With the mountains lit up in purple, and the sky bathed in pinkish-orange hues, I root myself in a moment of clarity. My Grams is still with me. This request was not for her. It was forme.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
REID
It's hard. Moving on after losing someone you love, losing a person who helped you become who you are today. Not having their physical presence by your side causes instability because an essential piece of your structure is gone. That's how I felt when I lost not only Noah but my old man as well. I imagine that’s how Mila is feeling. Her Grams was her lifeline for so long. The only love she felt her entire life until our paths crossed. The pain of loss never goes away. I know. I still feel the sting of sorrow every day, but you learn to live withit.
Innerstrength.
We all haveit.
For some, it takes awhile to find, but it'sthere.
Watching her now as she stands in front of the bathroom mirror, dressed in her standard work scrubs preparing to start a new day, I see that strength in her. I can sit here on the edge of my bed and claim to be the stronger sex, but that would be a lie. The woman standing before me has strength beyond any man. Bending down, I tie the laces on my work boots before standing and walking up behind her. "Hey, beautiful. I gotta get goin'. I'll be on the site working with the crew today. You need anything, you call." I kiss the top of her head. After painting her lips with her favorite red lipstick, she spins to face me. I run my finger through her soft hair causing her eyes to closemomentarily.
"I was thinking," she sighs reopening hereyes.
"About what,Kitten?"
While I get lost in the gold specks of her eyes, she tells me. "I'mready."
I smile when she smiles. "And what are you ready for?" I ask her planting a kiss on hertemple.
"To move forward. I don't need the trial period, Reid. I know what I want. I want to stay here.Permanently."
I let her words sink in. I know what she feels for me, but Mila has been apprehensive about making a full commitment. She was still somewhat guarded, and she had every right to be. Trusting someone, trusting them with your heart isn’t easy. With my mouth hovering over hers I admit with a grin, "Wasn't plannin' on letting you go, babe," and then I kissher.
* * *
I'm notthat boss who does nothing but sit behind a desk pushing papers. I'm the one working side by side with my men. I'm a firm believer in leading by example to show them what I expect from myemployees.
It's hot a fuck by Montana's standards today, so the rest of the crew and I are taking a water break. As I'm walking over to the office trailer, a black car pulls up. I pull a bandana from my back pocket to wipe the sweat from my brow as I watch River step out of hiscar.
"Reid, you got a minute?" he asks shaking myhand.
"Got about ten minutes I can spare." I informhim.
"I can't get in touch with Mila. I need to finalize her grandmother's will withher."
She told me the other day she was dodging his calls because she wasn’t ready to deal with any of it just yet. I don’t blame her, and I wasn’t about to push the issue. When she was ready she would say something. By her words this morning, I think now would be a good a time as any to take care of it. "How about I give her a call. See if I can get her to come by later today," I tellhim.
River nods, "Sounds like a plan. I'm sorry to have bothered you at work. I'll be in my office until 5:00 pmtoday."
I down the rest of the bottled water I was holding in my hand, "Alright," Ianswer.
Once he gets back in his car and pulls away, I dig my phone out of my back pocket and callMila.
