Page 37 of Finding Solace
I almost don’t want to leave the little bubble we've been in all day, but what I'm about to do I'm doing for the three of us. I can't move on and be the person or mother I want to be until I finally put the past behind me. Grabbing my car keys and purse off the kitchen counter, I make my way over to the door. With one last look over my shoulder, I glance at Reid. Nodding, he gives me the silent encouragement and strength Ineed.
Walking into the police station I thought I would be more nervous, but what I feel is anger mixed with a little bit of sadness. I'm angry for everything my parents have done to my daughter and me, and sad because all I ever wanted from them was love and acceptance. "I'm here to see Agent Holden," I say to the officer behind the receptiondesk.
"What's your name?" heinquires.
As I am about to give the officer my name, Agent Holden appears from around the corner. "It's okay, Officer Jenkins, I've got it from here." Placing his hand on my back, he ushers me down the hall from where he just came. "How you holding up, Mila? How's Avadoing?"
"Ava's good, she doesn't seem to understand what happened which I'm grateful for, as for me I'm doing okay. This whole ordeal is a lot to process. I appreciate you allowing me to speak to mymother."
"Trust me, Mila; it's not a problem. I understand. We don't normally do things this way, but given the circumstances, I'm going to bend the rules. In my line of work I see so many victims who don't get to see justice or get the closure theydeserve."
"Does my mother know I'm coming to see her?" Iquestion.
"Yes, and she agreed to meet with you. Our flight back to New York is in an hour, so I'm sorry you won't have muchtime."
Lifting my hand, I cut him off, "I don't need a lot of time. What I plan on saying to her will only take aminute."
"Alright. Reid said you only wanted to see your mother. What about your father? Do you wish to see him aswell?"
I shake my head. "No, I have nothing to say tohim."
Seeing the truth in my expression Agent Holden continues, "She is in the room behind you. I'll be right outside the door if you needme."
Seeing Susan Vaughn in a pair of handcuffs is surreal. I mean polished New York attorney Susan Vaughn, wife of Richard Vaughn and my mother. Through all my anger towards this woman, I'm surprised I'm still able to feel pity for her. That is what makes me so different from the woman in front of me. I have a heart. I feel compassion even for someone who played a part in trying to destroy my life; I still feel a twinge of sadness when looking at her and knowing she will be facing several years behindbars.
"You know, I was going to come in here and ask you why, but I've changed my mind. I already know why. You're a conniving bitch. You are a miserable excuse for a human being. Instead, I am going to tell you something about me. I am everything you're not. I'm a good mother. A loyal friend and an excellent nurse. Grams taught me all of those things. She showed me how to love and when you love someone you love them fiercely, faults and all. And because I refused to go along with what you and father wanted out of a daughter, you tossed me out like yesterday's garbage. But you know what?" I asked leaning forward and braced my palms on the table in front of me and bringing my face closer to mymother's.
"You giving up on me was the best thing to ever happen to me. Moving to Polson and living with Grams was a blessing. I thrived and became the person I was always meant to be. It allowed me to follow my dreams of becoming a nurse and find the man who will one day be my husband. A man who, even though Ava is not his blood, loves her as if she were his daughter. A man who will teach her how a man should treat her by loving and respecting her mother. That is the kind of life I have. So, you see, you and father never stood a chance on ruining my life. You didn't break me. You made me stronger." By the time the last word leaves my mouth, I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. I thought I wanted answers. Now I realize I didn't need them. I only needed my voice to be heard. Something I was never allowed growing up. Without another word and before my mother has a chance to respond, I turn on my heel and walk out the door; leaving my past behind me where itbelongs.
* * *
Several weeks have passedsince the incident with my parents, and their names haven't been spoken of since. Reid, Ava, and I have fallen back into a routine with me going back to work. Reid has returned to doing what he loves, and that is getting his hands dirty on the job site. At his last PT session last week, he was cleared by the doctor to resume all normalactivities.
As for Ava, she is no longer in preschool. During our week home together, I brought up the subject with Reid about switching preschools after what happened there with my father and the carelessness of the staff, I didn't feel comfortable sending her back. Now Ava spends her days with either Alba or Bella. The sisters showed up at Reid's place on a mission. When the pair suggested they take over babysitting duties, I knew Reid had a hand in the whole setup. I insisted they had already done enough for me and couldn't accept their offer. I was not one to take advantage of people's generosity. By the end of their visit the three of us had worked out a schedule as to who would have Ava on what days. They said there was no reason for Ava to be in preschool when she has a family to look after her. I might have had a mini breakdown and cried. I feel blessed to be a part of the Kings'family.
Some days Ava spends with Alba and baby Gabe, and a couple of days she hangs with Bella at the garage. Those are the days my daughter comes home with a pocket full of cash, because her words are, "Uncle Quinn says lots of bad words today." Yes, all of Reid's brothers have taken on the Uncle roles. Quinn's mouth alone is going to fund Ava's collegetuition.
As for Grams, she is not doing so well. She caught a cold, and her body is slow reacting to antibiotics. When I stopped by this afternoon after work for my daily visit, the doctors informed me if she continues to worsen, they will be forced to admit her to the hospital. When I saw her today she looked weak, and her skin was pale. My stomach clenched, and my heart ached at the sight of her lying in the bed looking so small and frail. I'm not prepared to lose my Grams. There is a part of me that hates to see her suffering, but the selfish part of me wants her to hang on. I'd be lost without her. What would I do without her by my side? We have always been a team, her andI.
Even now sitting beside her bed holding her hand, I will her to open her eyes and give me the answers. To tell me everything will be alright, just as she has done in the past. Resting my head on her bed while holding her hand, I close my eyes as tears roll down my cheeks because at this moment all I can do ispray.
Grams always said 'You don't pray for God to change what is because he has a plan. You pray for God to give you the strength to make it through.'So, that is what I do. I pray for God to provide Grams and me with the strength we need to make it through whatever he hasplanned.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
REID
Iwas up early as usual to start my day. It's Saturday, but I need to run out to one of the job sites to make sure the guys posted all the proper permits on the board outside the office trailer. The place is shut down for the day, and Nikolai received a heads up yesterday an inspector may drop by to make sure our building permits were up to date. The city has a job to do too, looking for violations, but I run a tight crew, which means they won't findshit.
It feels fuckin' great to be back in the thick of things—back to working full-time. I'm working on my second cup of coffee when Mila comes sauntering into the kitchen wearing nothing but one of my shirts and her long, thick, black hair piled on top of her head. As she reaches into the cabinet above the coffee maker to grab a mug, her shirt rises rewarding me a brief glimpse of her bareass.
"Fuck, Kitten, you're killin' me," I groan. Standing, I grab my cut from the back of the chair and slip iton.
"What," she feigns innocence and looks over her left shoulder locking her smoldering eyes withmine.
She knows I'm heading out to take care of work-related shit before we load up and head to Logan's lake house. Today is Sofia's birthday, and she insisted on having a pool party. Logan has the pool and the space to invite the whole crew out for a huge celebration. I'm hoping some girl time and fun in the sun will help Mila put aside her worries for a while. She has been stressed out due to the fact her Grams has fallen ill and is having a hard time getting better. A little down time might be just what Mila needs, even if it's only for theday.
"You sure you have to go?" Mila asks, sipping her coffee as she walks towards me. She's making it damn hard to leave now when all I can think about is her sweet pussy squeezing my cock. She sits her mug on the table and taking the opportunity; I reach for her and pull her into me. Cupping her face in my hands, I place my lips on hers. Melting into my embrace, Mila deepens our kiss while running her hands up my chest. If we keep this up, I won't leave. Reluctantly, I break our kiss and press my forehead to hers, "You're making me want to stay," I admit. Biting her bottom lip, she smiles as her mouth hovers over mine, "I loveyou."
