Page 22 of Finding Solace
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I feel lighterthan I've felt in a long time walking to the kitchen to brew some coffee this morning. That is until I notice the contestment papers sitting on the kitchen table, reminding me that nothing is as perfect as it seems to be. Talk about a mood buster. All I can do is wait until the end of the month to stand in the courtroom in front of the judge to defend my case. For the life of me, I can't understand why they would contest Power of Attorney. I've been the only one to take care of any of Grams' needs since before she was even diagnosed, and I pay what isn't covered by insurance as well. I've never asked anything of them since I left years ago. Sure, she had papers done giving me Power of Attorney after the fact, but she was still of sound mind, enough to understand what she was doing. None of it adds up. Pushing myself off of the table, I start the coffee pot and go about my routine and get Ava up and ready so that I can drop her off at preschool. Walking into her room, I sit down on her bed and rub the top of her nose like I always do to wake her up. She opens her bright blue eyes and smiles up at me. "Morning, sleepyhead. You want cereal or oatmeal for breakfast?" I ask her as she sits up and climbs into mylap.
"Cereal."
I get her dressed, and fix her hair into a ponytail before sitting her down to eat and get myself ready forwork.
Kate, my former boss, had a job lined up for me after taking care of Reid. Her friend who works at a local nursing home on the other side of town happened to be looking for someone because they recently had one of their staff leave them. I wasn’t sure being in the home care field was right for me. So, she put in some calls and a couple of days later boom; I was interviewing and getting hired the same day. That and what I made taking care of Reid was starting to run low… toolow.
After dropping Ava off, I go to the nursing home Grams resides. I've made it a point to swing by even if it's only for a few minutes every day to check on her to make sure my parents haven’t been causing any problems. Pulling up to the nursing home, I do my best to push all thoughts of my parents in the back of my mind. I run into Joni, her nurse as I'm walking down the hall. "Hey, Joni," I give her a small wave beforestopping."
"Oh, hey, sweetie. How you are doing today?" she greetsme.
"I'm good. How's Grams doing today? Any signs of myparents?"
"Today has been a good day," she smiles, "and no sign of your parents. I promise if they come around again I'll be sure to let you know, honey." She assuresme.
After thanking her, I head to Grams room and find her sitting in her chair soaking up the late afternoon sun coming through the window. I set my purse down on her bed and walk in front of her and kneel. "Hey Grams, how are you feeling today?" Iask.
"Mila, my sweet girl. I was just thinking about you. Come, sit and visit for a minute." She pats the arm of a chair adjacent to hers. I take a seat, and we both sit in silence for a minute while she reaches out and places her hand overmine.
"You look tired, dear. Are youalright?"
"I'm good,Grams."
"You'll tell me in time. You always do. Where's my great-grandbaby?"
"She's at preschool. I brought her for a visit the other day. Do you remember? She drew you that picture hanging on your wall right over there," I point in the direction I'm speaking. She studies the picture for a moment before a tear rolls down her cheek and it breaks myheart.
"I'm sorry. I don’t remember," She lightly squeezes myhand.
"That’s okay," I try to comfort her. So far, she gets easily confused, forgets whole days sometimes or even simple tasks like how to use a fork. Things most people do daily without thinking. And she also gets stuck in the past every now and again. All things most everyone takes for granted I now see in a different light. Every day she smiles and says my name when I walk in the room is more special to me than the next because I know one day I will step in here and she won't know who Iam.
I stay and visit another five minutes before heading towork.
When lunchtime rolls around, I get a text fromReid.
Reid:Hey babe. How's yourday?
Me:Good sofar.
Reid:Wanted you to know I'm thinking about you. I'm thinking about what I want to do toyou.
The last textmakes me melt into myseat.
Me:I'm thinking of youtoo.
Reid:Later,Kitten.
I don’t reply.The ache between my legs stays with me the rest of the day as I replay hiswords.
At the end of the day I pick Ava up, and she asks me on the way home, "Momma, when can we visitReid?"
"We saw him yesterday, sweetie, at theparty."
"But I wanna see hims today," Shepleads.
"What do you say we pick up a pizza and have a picnic on the living room floor for dinner tonight?" I look in my rear-view mirror and glance at my daughter who's watching cartoons on my phone. Her head jerks up, and she smiles with excitement, "Weally?! And a movie and ice cweamtoo?"
