Page 16 of Finding Solace
Looking up at him from my crouched position on the floor, he has a look of concern on his face. "It's just a glass, babe. It's not a bigdeal."
As I use the broom to sweep up my mess, Reid not once takes his eyes off me. His intense stare causes my skin to prickle and my hands to shake.Why is he just sitting there watching me?After the glass is cleaned up, I go to walk past him to the sink to finish my task when he reaches out and grabs hold of my wrist. Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I look to Reid and wait for him tospeak.
"You want to talk about what has you on edge? Is it me? Am I doin' something to make youuncomfortable?"
His last question has me quick to react. Does he think he was making me feel uncomfortable? "What? No! Reid, nothing about being here with you is uncomfortable. A little weird? Yes. But uncomfortable? Never," I affirm looking him straight in his eyes so that he can see mysincerity.
Reid studies my face for a minute. Satisfied with what he sees he continues, "You want to tell me what's got you so upsetthen?"
Waving my hand in attempts to play off my frazzled state today, I reply, "It's nothing really, just some family stuff. I'm sure everything will be fine." At my last statement, I go to step away from him, but he refuses to release his hold onme.
"Is it your grandmother? Is she alright?" His show of concern for my Grams warms myheart.
"Yeah, Grams is okay. As good as to be expected anyway. Seriously, I'm fine." I lie. By the look on Reid's face he knows it, and by the grip he still has on my wrist I don't think he is willing to let itgo.
CHAPTER NINE
REID
Istare at a frazzled, worn out looking Mila as she sits on the sofa while I wait for her to speak. Moments ago, she was standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes so lost in thought; she didn't even hear me when I was behind her calling her name. She had been washing the glass in her hand for the past ten minutes. I could tell something was bothering her, butwhat?
Mila startled when she finally realizes she was not alone causing her to drop the glass she was holding, and I watched as it shattered all over the kitchen floor. I didn't say anything for a few moments. I let her go about cleaning up the mess, and I listened to her ramble off an apology and something about replacing the glass she accidentally broke. Seeing her so upset had me feeling a sudden need to comforther.
Then I started to internally panic thinking my being an asshole was the cause of her current state. After I questioned her about my suspicions, she quickly denied her nervous state had anything to do with me. Mila admitted she was having family issues. Again, with this overwhelming need to help her, I level her with a stare encouraging her to open up tome.
In the short amount of time I've spent with Mila, one thing I know for sure about this woman is that she is incredibly strong. I sense that she is used to handling things on her own. Mila is very good at putting up a front. She has a wall built up around herself, and everything in me wants to tear it down. I want to know everything about her. I wish Mila would trust me enough to give a piece of herself to me. Holding onto her wrist, I patiently wait to see if she would give in; if she is willing to provide me with something…anything.
The rage and jealousy I felt this morning when I saw Nikolai standing in the kitchen taking to Mila sent me into a tailspin. I've never gotten jealous over a woman before. I wanted to rip Nikolai's head off. Of course, when he came into my office he had to give me shit. But it was his words which pissed meoff.
"If you're not going to pursue Mila, I have it in mind to ask her out." Hestated.
"Unless you want me to put a bullet in your ass, you better back off," I warnedhim.
After studying me for a moment, Nikolai responded with a slight bow of his head, "Dulynoted."
Satisfied with his response, we went on to discussing business. I knew Nikolai was serious about asking Mila out. If it were Quinn talking, I'd know it would be him fucking with me. Unlike my brother, Nikolai isn't a jokester. And for that reason alone, if I don't want someone to come in and sweep this incredible woman out from under my nose, then I need to act. I need to take what I want. It's time for me to quit acting like a jackass. That would be my first step. The second step is for me to gain her trust. With Mila, I feel this will be the biggestchallenge.
I don't know anything about her past, but I have a feeling she doesn't trust easily. The only close person Mila has in her life is her grandmother, so I am going to assume her issues lie with her parents or Ava's father. The thought of a man doing something to hurt this beautiful woman instantly has my blood boiling.Fuck… what if that's what she meant by family problems. Is it Ava's dad? Is he in the picture? Did he leave them and now he wants them back?Hell fuckin' no, that shit's not happening.How could any man leave a woman like Mila? And Ava… that little girl has done something to my heart, and she did it all with a damn picture. So, that brings me to the third thing that needs to be done, and that is for me to push myself and work hard to get better, to get myself out of this chair, to become the man I need to be. I want Mila. And that means getting off my ass and going after what Iwant.
"Reid, are you okay?" Mila asks, placing her hand on my arm, bringing me back to the present. When I see the concerned look on her face, I realize my body has gone tense, and my fists are clenched. "Yeah babe, I'm good. How about you tell me what's going on?" Nodding and licking her lips, Mila moves her hand off my arm, and I instantly miss hertouch.
"I went to visit my grandmother today, and my parents were there." When she doesn't continue, I give her a perplexed look. "Okay, and is that a problem?" Iask.
She narrows her eyes, "Yes, considering my parents haven't had anything to do with me or my grandmother in four years, I'd say that’s a huge problem. I'm talking, no visits, no phone calls, not even a goddamn postcard… nothing." Mila finishes. Standing up from the sofa she begins to pace the living room, "I mean what the hell could they possibly want. They don't care about Grams, and they damned sure don't give a shit about Ava or me. They made it pretty clear almost five years ago when they told me to either have an abortion or give my daughter up." Mila nearly shouts as she flails her arm around. Her admission catches me offguard.
"What the fuck do you mean give your daughter up? They told you to choose abortion or adoption?" Iseethe.
Turning her attention back to me I see the look of disgust and sadness on Mila's face, "I was on the fast track to Harvard Law when I became pregnant with Ava." Mila confesses, looking down as if she is ashamed to have confessed that bit of information tome.
Not wanting her to feel any more uncomfortable I keep the conversation going. "Let me guess, going to law school was your parents idea and you getting pregnant hindered their plans foryou?"
Walking back over to the couch, Mila sits down and lets out an exasperated breath. "You got it. No way would Richard or Susan Vaughn accept their only child not going to college. Both of my parents are well known and highly respected attorneys in New York. As their daughter, I was expected to follow in their footsteps. They even wanted me to marry the son of one of the partners in their firm. They had my whole life mapped out forme.
One summer I spent with Grams I wanted for once to just throw caution to the wind. Growing up, I never had many friends. I never went out; I didn't date, I didn't go to parties. My sole focus was school. To be the best, to have the best grades. I was trying to make my parents proud… to make them, I don't know." Milapauses.
"Love you," I finish for her. She raises her head, and when her eyes meet mine, I see hers well up with tears before one escapes down her cheek. I reach out and grab her hand, then pull her towards me. Without protest, Mila slides onto my lap, and I pull her into my chest and wrap my arm around her. No more words are spoken as I allow this beautiful and incredibly brave to woman cry. She cries for the childhood she deserved but didn't get. She cries for the fact her parents didn't love her. And Mila cries for the little girl sleeping down the hall. The daughter she chose to sacrifice everythingfor.
I don't know how much time has passed before Mila's cries turn into sobs and then eventually her body relaxes and her breaths even out. I don't dare move her. I sit in the living room for hours as I continue to hold her. It's then that I decide what I'm going to do. First thing tomorrow I am going to find out who the fuck Richard and Susan Vaughn are and why the hell they have crashed back into Mila's life. Because she's right, something is not addingup.
