Page 13 of Finding Solace
What the hell was I thinking? Between self-pity, at being so fuckin' tired and sore from physical therapy earlier today, I couldn't get myself into the shower and checked out. I was aware Mila walked into the bathroom—aware she studied me and never said a word. It piqued my interest in her a little more, which prompted me to keep my mouth shut. When Mila started to undress me, I studied her. I was curious to see how far she would be willing to go for me—to helpme.
I shouldn't have found the whole process a turn on either, but I did. It was like she was etching her name into my flesh with every stroke as she washed me. I became hyper-aware of every square inch she touched and the effect it was having on her as well. I became solely focused on her. Her movement. Her breathing. I tried to control my body's reaction to her but failed. The fact she never missed a beat, even after she made her way passed my very noticeable hard-on, and stayed focused on her true intentions wasn’t lost on me either. She wasn't only doing her job, but she was also showing—no, she was teaching me to trust her, and it was that revelation which had me stopping everything. I wasn’t trying to be rude or cruel when I told her to leave. It had to do with the fact I was unprepared for how it made me feel. Managing to gain my self-control after she left, I reach out turning the water off and grab the towel she placed within reach. "Mila," I call out, "you can come backin."
The door handle turns, and slowly she opens the door stepping in. "Would you like help getting back into your chair?" Sheasks.
"Please, I'm wiped out, so if you can help, that would be great. I can take it from there once I'm out of the shower." Walking up, she grabs another towel from the cabinet placing it on the seat of the wheelchair before helping me, and as skillfully as before she gets me back in mychair.
"You sure you don’t need any help dressing or getting into bed? It’s what I'm here for. To help." Sheaffirms.
"No," I rub the back of my head with my hand. "I can handleit."
Mila gives a small smile and a nod, then walks out of the bathroom. The click of my bedroom door lets me know she has left. Soon after I wheel myself over to my dresser and gather some clothes from the drawers. The task of getting myself onto the bed was no big deal, but peeling damp boxers off my body with one handwas.
Physical therapy kicked my ass today. Getting up and back down from a seated position with assistance was what I went through today. The back pain I can handle. It’s the muscle fatigue and cramps from the lack of use that's killin' me right now. The deep muscle massage Mila gave my legs in the shower did wonders to soothe the ache I was feeling from putting weight onthem.
Once I've tackled the task of getting dressed, I contemplate whether to grab some dinner or go straight to bed. I know Mila has prepared a roast because I've smelled it cooking in the crockpot in the kitchen most of the day. I venture out towards the kitchen and find her and Ava sitting at thetable.
"Oh, hey," Mila looks up from placing her daughter's plate of food in front of her, "Would you like to join us or take your food to youroffice?"
I have been held up in my room or my office since I've been home. Partly avoiding her, but mostly trying to bury myself in work-related tasks since I'm useless anywhere else instead of in front of a computer screen now. "I'll eat at the table," I tell her as I push one of the chairs to the side and position the wheelchair in itsplace.
"Momma, Momma, can I give it to him now?" Ava starts bouncing in her seat. Mila turns from preparing my plate and heads towards the table placing it in front of me with a fork and a glass of water. What I want is a cold beer. "Thanks," Ireply.
"Ava, sit down. Let Reid eat, then you can give him the picture," She tells herdaughter.
"Pwease, Momma," she tries once again, this time she adds puppy eyes. You can see a little of Mila in her appearance, but I'm guessing she looks a lot more like her father. I've always been a little curious as to what that whole situation is about. Where is he and why isn’t he in their lives or at least he doesn't appear to be. I don’t know her well enough to make that assumption. Before she sits, she places her plate on the table and turns to face me. "Um, Ava drew a picture in preschool today and has insisted you have it. Would it be okay if she gives it to you now?" She asks lookingexhausted.
Looking over at her daughter, I watch her squirm in her seat waiting for the answer she's looking for. The anticipation and excitement in her blue eyes are too much for me to say no to. I sit back in my chair and tell Ava, "Whatcha gotkid?"
Reaching over, she grabs a piece of paper that was sitting in the seat beside her and slides out of her chair. The damn paper is covered in so much glitter some falls from the page, leaving a light dusted trail on the floor as she makes her way around tome.
Holding it up for me to see she begins to explain what I'm looking at. "Dis is me cuz I'm wittle," Ava explains pointing her little finger to a small blob on the picture. "And dis one here is my momma." Next, she points to a square with wheels. "And dis is you and your wheelchair. We are riding in the elwavater." After giving the details of her creation, Ava then hands me the picture with a proud look on herface.
I stare at the picture not knowing what to say, but it makes me smile. I run my hand through my hair as Ava skips back over to her seat and Mila gets her situated again before sitting down herself. "Thank you, Ava. It’s a beautiful picture." I clear my throat and place it down on the table beside me. "Maybe your momma can put it on the refrigerator for me later," I mumbled looking down at my food as I pick up a bite with myfork.
Giggling, Ava starts to eat. I look over at Mila to find her staring at me. "What?"
"Nothing. By the way, you have some glitter in your hair," she smirks. A laughing Ava chimes in, "You have magic in your hair. It's so pretty! Momma, I want magic in my hair too," shechatters.
"Why don’t we all eat before it gets cold," Milaannounces.
The rest of the meal is eaten in silence, both Mila and I stealing glances at one another. When Ava is through, Mila excuses herself to go bathe and put her daughter to bed. The least I can do is clean up the kitchen. Once I have the leftovers in the fridge and the dishwasher loaded, I make my way back to my room for thenight.
Now,I'm lying here in my bed a few hours later, and Mila is all I can think about. Falling for a woman like her, smart, driven, caring, sassy and sexy as fuck would be so damn easy. The thought alone of her long black hair wrapped around my fist as she wraps those plump, pouty lips around my cock has me wanting to throw all caution out the window. She stirs things in me I don’t want to feel. That woman would be the fall of any man lucky enough to have her. I'm afraid if I allow myself one taste of Mila she would be the endme.
* * *
"Come on,you have to admit that little bombshell in the teachers get up was fuckin' hot," I tell my brother while we head back home from the clubhouse. Tomorrow he leaves for college, so the club decided to throw him a going away party. Quinn went all out with the girls tonight too. A redhead dressed as little red riding hood, a sexy fuckin' nurse and a black-haired beauty with huge ass tits dressed as a naughty schoolteacher.
"Yeah, those were hard to ignore when she shoved them in my face. Quinn outdid himself. You'll have to thank him for me," helaughs.
Normally my ass would be on my bike leadin' the way home, but I got a tad carried away tonight, so my brother is driving me home. Shifting my weight, I twist my body to look at my brother. "Noah. All shittin' aside. I'm fuckin' proud of you. I've always known that brain of yours would get you places," I admit tohim.
"I'm gonna to miss you, Reid. I'll even miss the rest of the family. The club—They're my brotherstoo."
"Fuck, California isn't that far away. I'll be comin' to visit every chance I canget."
No sooner does my brother's face break into a smile when a large eighteen-wheeler veers into our lane, headlights blinding my vision. Noah tries to avoid the impact, but instantly the sounds of crunching glass and twisting metal encapsulate me. My ears are ringing, and pain is radiating through the lower half of my body. The sounds of moans and smells of gasoline and smoke fill the air around me. I reach my hand out, desperately grasping for Noah, finally finding his hand. I look at him and try to focus through my dazed vision, and that's when I see it. A metal rod is coming through the shattered windshield impaled straight into Noah's chest. Panic sets in and my fight instincts kick into high gear, yet I can't move to help him. "Noah, stay with me.Noah," Iroar.
