Page 10 of Finding Solace
"Come on, baby, this way," I tell Ava as we both follow Quinn. I wasn't expecting our room to be furnished. The first thing I notice is a queen size bed and on the opposite side of the room is a toddler bed. Everything in here looks new. I can't believe Reid did this for us. I would have been fine on a pull-out or an air bed. Quinn seems to be reading my expression because he speaksup.
"He wanted you both to be comfortable. Contrary to his current attitude, Reid is one of the best guys I know. Don't let him foolya."
Not having any response to that, I simply nod. Dipping his head, Quinn turns toleave.
"I'm going to get out of here and let you all settlein."
"Thanks, Quinn, I appreciate yourhelp."
Stopping, he turns around, "Anytime, darlin'. And a piece of advice. Give him hell. Whatever he dishes out, you give it back ten-fold."
Later in the evening Ava and I venture out into the kitchen. Reid still hasn't made an appearance. I know he's okay because I can hear his TV and it sounded like he was talking to someone on the phone earlier. Either way, Ava needs her dinner. It's weird being in someone else's space and using their things. "Want to help momma cookdinner?"
"Yes!" Ava squeals clapping her hands together. Looking through the fully stocked cabinets and freezer, I turn to my little helper. "How about spaghetti?" Watching her vigorously nodding her head, I believe she agrees. Spotting a step stool in the corner, I bring it over to the kitchen island for Ava. We go about mixing our ingredients for the sauce, and then I move on to starting the water for the noodles. I love cooking with my daughter. Grams used to let me cook with her every day I was at her house. She taught me everything I know, including this homemade sauce. Grams never used the stuff from a can. I usually like to let my sauce simmer most of the day, but this will do in apinch.
Roughly an hour later, I'm pulling the garlic bread from the oven while Ava sets the table when I'm startled by movement in thehall.
I look over my shoulder and notice Reid watching us with a weird look on his face. When he notices I've caught him, the look he had before vanishes. I'm the first to break the silence. "Dinner is almost done if you're hungry." He makes his way over to the dining roomtable.
"I couldeat."
I give him a smallsmile.
It's astart.
CHAPTER FIVE
REID
Iwould be lying if I said sitting here in the hallway and watching Mila shuffle around my kitchen cooking dinner didn't spark something profound inside of me. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel a pull towards her. Watching my brothers Logan and Gabriel with their women, and seeing how happy they are makes me a little envious. Don't get me wrong; I'm beyond thrilled for them. They're both good men and deserve a good woman, but I'm envious because I know I may never have that. Especially with a woman like Mila. Beautiful, caring, and a great mother. A woman like her is out of my reach. Before the car accident where I lost my leg, I wouldn't have thought twice about going after a woman like her, butnow…
About a year after I lost my leg, I started seeing a woman. I'll never forget the look of pity and disgust on her face when I told her about my prosthesis. We'd been dating for two months. I know she wanted to take the next step, so I finally worked up the nerve to tell her about my leg. Three emotions swept across her face. Shock, pity, and then disgust. I never saw her again. She's not a local living in Polson, she lives a few towns over, so at least we don't have to cross paths.Fuckin'bitch.
Since then, when I need to take the edge off I'll go to Charley's. There's plenty of willing woman looking for a good time with a biker. I don't pay for pussy- never have, never will. Is a quick fuck in a bar bathroom, or having my cock sucked by a club whore my idea of satisfying? Hell no. But I'll be damned if I let another woman look at me with pity everagain.
Hearing someone gasp pulls me from my thoughts. That's when I notice Mila has stopped what she was doing and is looking at me. We hold each other's stare for a beat before she speaks. "Dinner will be done soon if you're hungry," She says nervously. Rolling towards the dining room table I inform her, "I couldeat."
I'll admit the smell of whatever she's cooking drew me out of my room. I know I've been a dick, hiding out like I've been doing. But I would rather be alone than to lash out at Mila. Hurting her feelings is the last thing I want to do. When Quinn was here earlier, he had no problem pointing out to me I was being a reclusive asshole. He was right. No matter what I may be dealing with, I have no right taking it out on the people around me. It's just the shocking realization Mila was going to be my nurse threw me for a fuckin' loop. The nurse I had in the hospital didn't affect me. She was a no-nonsense motherly type. Mila, on the other hand, does shit to me. Every time those hypnotizing eyes look at me, my insides clench. That alone pisses me off. I can't stand the thought of any woman having the power to make me feelanything.
"Are you going to eat wif me and Momma, Mr. Carter?" I hear a tiny voice ask. Looking to my right, I see Ava standing there holding a plate and looking up at me with the biggest blueeyes.
"Yeah, sweetheart. I'm going to eat supper with ya. Is that okay?" I can't help but chuckle when she bobs her head, and her blonde curls bounce all over her face. A few minutes later the three of us have settled, and I am eating some of the best spaghetti I have evertasted.
"Did you like the sgeti, Mr. Carter? I helped Momma makeit."
Turning my gaze away from Mila who has begun clearing the dishes from the table, I look at a spaghetti covered Ava. "Best I ever had, sweetheart. And if it's okay with your momma, you can call me Reid." When Ava looks over at her mom, Mila gives her a nod, and then Ava turns back to me giving me a toothy smile. I am so out of my element when it comes to kids. But I at leasttry.
"I'm going to turn in," I announce backing up from thetable.
Placing the dishes in the sink, Mila strides toward me, "I'll helpyou."
"I got it," I bite out a bit too roughly causing Mila to jump. Clearing my throat, I glance back at her, I sigh, "I'm sorry, Kitten. What I meant was, I'm good. I'll see you two in the mornin'." When I see Mila step away from me with a hurt look on her face, I instantly feel like adick.
Ignoring the pinch in my gut, I continue to my room. I was telling her the truth when I said I could get to bed on my own. I look like a fumbling idiot, but I want to be able to do some shit for myself. The two things I refuse help on are using the bathroom and getting myself to bed. A week before leaving the hospital, I gained some feeling in my right leg. With my prosthetic on, I can balance my weight on that one side for a few moments at a time. I was so fucking thankful for thattoo.
Letting out a deep sigh, I close my eyes and think about the events that led me here. I don't for one-second regret doing whatever needed to be done to help Alba. I know she blames herself for what that sick motherfucker did to me, but I would go through the events all over again if it meant saving the life of just one person I care about. My only regret… I failed her. The psycho was still able to get to her and Leyna. I failed them both, just like I failed my brotherNoah.
I'm determined to get better. I need to prove to my club that they can count on me. When I lost my leg, I thought for sure my days as a King were over. The thought of not being a part of the club, of not being able to ever ride again, made me want to put a bullet in my head. I came damn close one time. I let self-pity control my decisions. Until Quinn. It's like my brother knew something wasn't right withme.
