Page 29 of Icing on Top
Nova looked at them with adoration as if they were her most important treasure. “They have the best story,” she replied. Nova took them from me and cradled them gently in her hands. She stood silently stroking the one remaining ear on the one with her fingertip.
“When I was six years old, we were poor. And when I say poor, I mean we hardly had two pennies to rub together. Everything my parents earned went toward bills and food. ThatThanksgiving, my dad pulled out our old Christmas tree and our few decorations so we could put the tree up, as was tradition.
“There is something about plugging Christmas lights in for the first time that instantly makes it feel like Christmas—an excitement shared with a grin between parent and child. Well, when Dad plugged the lights in that year to test them, they didn’t light up. After an hour of searching for a blown fuse or bulb, he finally conceded that the old lights must have reached their permanent demise.
“I was so young, but I knew we didn’t have many things like other families. I knew that we wouldn’t be able to have lights on our tree that year. So, I was stunned when my dad suddenly tossed the busted lights to the side and told me to get my shoes and jacket. He said that we were going to the store for more lights.”
Nova laughed softly as she paused in her story to hang one of the deer on the front of the tree.
“My mom tried to question him about it, urging him to think it through instead of making a rash decision. He told her it would be a cold day in Hell before he had a Christmas tree without Christmas lights. He took my hand, and we left. We sang Christmas carols all the way to Walmart, and by the time we walked through the doors, I was shaking with excitement. Hand in hand, we walked past countless items we probably needed until we reached the Christmas department. Dad looked at my wide eyes as we walked through the aisle and told me I could pick out three ornaments. I think he got additional boxes of ornaments and lights and then waited patiently as I made the most difficult decision of my young life.”
She hung the other two reindeer on the tree and spent time adjusting them so they hung just right before stepping back and admiring her work. “In the end, I chose these three reindeer. A mama, a daddy, and a baby,” she said, pointing to each. “Onefor each of us. I don’t know what got into him or how we could afford them, but Dad was a man on a Christmas mission that night. He had no idea then, and I’m not sure he ever knew how much that night meant to me or how it would become such a treasured memory.”
Knowing the memory attached to them, I looked at the ornaments with different eyes. They didn’t seem like they belonged in the trash anymore. Sliding my arms around Nova’s waist, I pulled Nova closer to me to nuzzle her neck. “Thank you for sharing your stories with us. Your dad sounds like he was an amazing man.”
“He was. Like everyone, he could be rough around the edges, but he did his best and loved me and my mother with everything he had,” Nova replied. She turned in my arms as she spoke and snuggled into my chest. Nova took a shaky breath and stepped back. She wiped away the tears that had slipped out and tried to smile. “I’m sorry. Here I am going on about my dad and my childhood and being sad when you guys didn’t have that, did you?”
“First,” Lincoln said, kissing her forehead, “don’t ever apologize to us for your feelings. You’re allowed to be sad about your dad without any guilt because we grew up in a foster home.”
“Second,” Grant continued as he sat on the ottoman and pulled her into his lap. “We never knew our parents. We were all in the system before we turned three. As we got older, we were moved to different families until we were ten. That’s when we were placed in the same house that became our forever foster home. Ultimately, we had a good childhood. It was just missing some of the more traditional things you experienced.”
“And our foster mom was an angel,” I chipped in. “She would have adored you.”
Nova blushed slightly and hid her face in Grant’s neck. Grant held her tighter and looked up at me with a panicked look.Something had just clicked in his head, perhaps his heart, and he was about to lose it.
“Linc, why don’t you and Nova finish the tree while Grant and I figure out where to order dinner from?” I asked, keeping my voice even and calm for Nova’s sake. Linc picked up the difference in my tone and gave me a questioning look before looking at Grant and snapping into motion.
“Love to!” he exclaimed, whisking Nova off Grant’s lap and back toward the tree.
I grabbed Grant and lightly shoved him toward the front door to get some air. As soon as the front door closed behind us, he bent over at the waist, his hands braced on his knees.
“Oh, God,” he croaked. “What are we going to do?”
“About what, buddy?” I asked, genuinely concerned.
“Nova. What are we going to do about Nova?” He straightened, and the desperation in his eyes surprised me.
“Walk me through it,” I prompted, not understanding what had him so freaked out.
“You’re right. Mama Clair would have loved her. What are we doing here? We have a contract, but Linc has dropped hints that he wants more. I can see it in your eyes that you want more, too, but we have a contract. We don’t have time for a relationship. That’s why we had to make this arrangement to begin with.”
“Forget about the damn contract for a minute. What do you want? How do you feel?” I pressed. My brother had some hang-ups. He wasn’t the greatest with surprises. It’s why he was such a meticulous planner. He needed the structure to function. He told Nova we had a good childhood, and we did, but he left out the part where we each had some baggage when Mama Clair took us in. Grant had been through far more homes than Linc and I put together. Because of that, he developed an almost OCD-level need for everything around him to be perfectly planned. The contract with Nova was just the tip of the iceberg.It has served us well in business but sometimes wreaked havoc on our personal lives. He’s learned to manage it better as an adult, but stressful situations tend to send him into a spin.
“I want her,” he admitted somewhat aggressively. “And I don’t want to walk away from her after New Year’s, but...”
He trailed off, and after a minute of silence, I prompted him to continue. “Buuut...”
“But what if we hurt her?” The desperation in his eyes gave way to sadness. “We don’t know how to have a functioning relationship.”
“So we take it one day at a time. We don’t have to have it all figured out right now, Grant.” I hugged my brother. He was so bossy that I sometimes forget that his bossiness was a way to deflect others from discovering his vulnerable side and seeing the hurting little boy inside. He relaxed in my embrace for a moment before stiffening and stepping back.
“We can take it one day at a time, but I won’t agree to entertain a future with her unless I know we can do that. I won’t let us hurt her too. She’s too important,” he said firmly.
I shook my head and pulled out my phone as my brother walked back inside. It was good to see that his shields were operating at full strength again.
I chose a contact and pressed call, lifting the phone to my ear. “Charlie! I need to order some food, and I’m craving your salmon.”
More
