Page 77 of Fly to Fury
She trailed off, and no one took up the thread of the story.
“What? What happened?” When Fieran searched their faces, no one looked at him. No one spoke.
Finally Dacha heaved a ragged breath, his head bowed. “He lost one of his legs below the knee. The healers saved his other foot, but it remains to be seen if it will heal well enough for him to walk on it.”
No. No, it couldn’t be true. This was just another drug-induced nightmare. He’d wake up and this would all fade away. His heart pounded, a rushing in his ears as if he were falling from the sky all over again.
“I need to go to him.” It was an all-consuming thought. Merrik was hurt, and Fieran needed to be there for him. Needed to get to his side to face this together, as they always had.
Fieran struggled to shove himself upright, but one of his arms wouldn’t cooperate, stiff and bandaged as it was. Theconstrictions around his waist and legs held him prisoner to the bed. Fieran couldn’t seem to push himself upright enough to get the elbow of his one good arm beneath him.
Dacha placed a hand on Fieran’s shoulder and held him down. “No, sason. You need to rest.”
“I need to go.” Fieran fought, gasping for breath. Pain stabbed through him, shaking through his limbs, until he finally collapsed against the pillow, what little strength he had fully spent.
Dacha didn’t understand. None of them did.
This was all Fieran’s fault. If he’d taken the time to let Pip check his propeller for fractures, if he hadn’t just rushed into battle without waiting for the rest of the squadron to arrive, then he wouldn’t have crashed. Merrik wouldn’t have been left in the sky without a wingman to guard his back.
Beyond that, Merrik had only joined the Flying Corps because Fieran had dragged him into it. If not for Fieran, Merrik likely would have fought this war safely on the ground at his dacha’s side.
“No.” It seemed to be all Fieran could say as he shook his head, the only movement he seemed strong enough to make. “No.”
He was only dimly aware of the others leaving. Of Lije saying he’d fetch the healer. Of Pip’s final, aching glance before she followed the others out.
He turned his face away, and this time he couldn’t blame all the tears on the pain and morphine.
Merrik had lost his leg—might lose the use of the leg he had left—and it was all Fieran’s fault.
Their friendship would never be the same again.
Chapter
Twenty-Five
Pip reefed on the nut with her wrench, but it wouldn’t budge. She yanked again, putting her whole body weight into it, before she jerked the wrench free, gave a scream between her teeth, and pounded the stuck nut with the end of her wrench. If she unleashed her magic now, she might just reduce the whole engine to a mangled hunk of metal.
When that didn’t ease the building heat in her chest, she vented her scream and threw the wrench at the cement floor as hard as she could. The metal pinged on the concrete, but if she’d damaged either her wrench or the floor, she couldn’t bring herself to care. Tears blurred her vision.
She couldn’t do this. Not without Fieran and Merrik. Not when the trains leaving for Aldon and Estyra would carry them away in a little over an hour.
A pall had settled over the hangar in the past day and a half since the battle. Half-repaired aeroplanes were scattered around the bays while everyone from the flyboys to the mechanics drifted through with hollow eyes. There were noneof the smiles and jokes that had been such a part of life in the Half-Breed Squadron. Fieran and Merrik were the squadron’s heart and soul, and without that, they were lost.Shewas lost.
“Pip?” Mak’s voice sounded from somewhere below.
Pip straightened from where she had been slumped into the engine compartment and furiously swiped at her face to hide her tears.
A useless attempt. This was Mak. He’d take one look at her and know she’d been crying. Again.
Mak strode around the wing before he halted next to her ladder. He peered up at her, his deep brown eyes searching her face. “Perhaps you should put in for leave.”
If she took leave, she could follow Fieran to Aldon. She could…
What? Sit at his side and hold his hand like a proper girlfriend? She didn’t know if she was that. They’d been so close, and then…everything had happened and now she had nothing but a drug-induced confession and even more uncertainty than before. Once all the drugs and healing magic left his system, would he blame her for what had happened to him and Merrik? She couldn’t abandon her duty here for a relationship that might not even exist.
Even if she went to Aldon, she had nowhere to stay. Nowhere to go. It wasn’t like she’d be able to march up to the gates of Fieran’s family home and just ask to see him like she had any right to be there.
Besides, this was the army. Even if she put in for leave right this minute, it could be months before her request was approved. By that point, Fieran would likely be all healed and returned to the Half-Breed Squadron.
