Page 24 of Property of Thrasher
She smiled a slow, knowing grin. “No. Not scared of them as a person. But the kind of man where they walk into the room and the air changes recognizing the power in that man’s blood. Like you know without a doubt if anyone or anything ever came for you, they’d cease to exist before they ever got close enough to hurt you. The kind of scary that leaves you wrapped in the cocoon of a safety, security, and acceptance only that man can give. The kind of consuming passion that leaves you hating to be apart for long.”
I shifted uncomfortably. “I have never known anyone with a love like that, Faye.”
“Then, sweetheart, you have no idea what it is to love a biker.” She spoke in a teasing manner but not unkind. “They don’t do halfway, Melody. It’s all or nothing and a give and take unlike anything you’ll ever experience with any other kind of man. When a biker wants you, they claim you. And when they claim you, you belong to them. Not in a fairytale way. No, a bone deep, etched in stone, beyond this life time kind of way. And once you have it, don’t ever fuck it up. To betray a biker is to build an un-collapsible wall that will forever keep that man away from your grasp from this lifetime to the next.”
I knew my eyes were wide open in shock. “Faye, that sounds…, well for lack of a better word, intense.”
She laughed. “It is and it’s not for everyone. Matter of fact, it’s not for most women. You have to be strong enough to stand on your own, even knowing he’ll always be there to catch you. At the same time, you can’t get lost in him because you’ll forget who you are. A biker doesn’t fall easy and they don’t claim what they can find everywhere. They love you more for staying true to your own fire.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever make it on the radar of a King or any biker, but good to know how this works for all the others. They like independent, but they want to be possessive. Totally sounds great and not toxic in the least bit.”
Faye laughed. “Pretty much. Sounds absurd. But the thing is they respect strength. They need to know to the core you can handle this life. You aren’t gonna crumble when things get rough. They need to know they are accepted exactly as they are, that you aren’t trying to change them. More than anything you accept you can’t change the man he is, the club he swore an oath to, and you embrace the leather as much as the man.”
“Do things get rough regularly?”
Her eyes softened. “Danger is part of the deal. If you can’t handle that, you walk away before it starts. And just saying, that means you walk away from this job and you do it now. Whether fuckin’ one of the brothers or not, you’re in the Kings world. You have to accept things as they are, black and white. You’re a gorgeous young woman with a quiet power, the men sense that. One of them is going to make a play for you at some point. And you need to know loving a biker ain’t for the weak. It means knowing some nights he might not come home. And when he does come back from things, he might carry different kinds of scars on the inside and the out. You can’t flinch or walk away when you see the dark side to this life.”
I didn’t know what to say. I sat there looking out to the men in front of us.
“You have to be able to accept the men in front of you can be brutal. They will kill for one another. More importantly, they will die for a brother or the family of a brother. The sacrifice and loyalty go hand in hand.”
I swallowed, my throat tightening. “I don’t know that I could do that.”
“Then as much as I appreciate the worker you are, you should leave. If you can’t figure it out, find a way to accept each man in that cut, then none of this is for you.” She paused studying me, “but there is something about you, honey. Something that tells me you might be what we all need. Melody, being strong in this world doesn’t mean standing up for yourself. It means standing beside the man and behind the patch no matter what storm hits. It means knowing when to fight and when you keep your mouth shut because club business never involves you and it will always come before anything else.”
“Faye, why are you telling me all of this?”
She reached out and gave my shoulder a squeeze. “Met a lot of young women over the years. You are one of the few to come through our little area and have respect for everyone. You put your head down and do what you need to do without hesitation or questions. That screams old lady material to me. If I can see that I know these guys do too.”
“Thank you for your kindness,” I replied honestly. I couldn’t explain the way her words touched me deeply. When did someone other than Lyric lift me up?
My Grans did when we were little. Since her passing, the whole family learned to fall in line with the elders. It was like all our strength died with her.
It was this moment I promised myself I would not be afraid to be me and be strong no matter who came after me. And I would not fear the patch or this life. I wanted to belong here in whatever way that came.
“Do you get tired of it?” I asked her, “the life of a wild man?”
“Sometimes it’s exhausting. But baby when it’s good?” she smiled as if she was lost in a sweet memory, “when it’s good, it’s the best you’ll ever feel. There is no one who can cherish you and embrace you the way a brother in the Kings does.”
I leaned into the counter. “You think it’s worth it? They have women, these club bunnies at their disposal for anything they want. I’ve been told they’re open for it all.”
Faye gave a small shrug. “Won’t lie to you. Depends on the man. Some of them aren’t worth the headache. Some of them are poison covered in leather. But the real ones … worth every scar they leave on your heart.”
Her words sunk in deep. Not that I wanted to be with any of the guys. I didn’t really know what I wanted, truthfully. I just knew deep to my soul, I wanted life to go on beyond my past. I hoped in time I could maybe find companionship and love. But I knew better than to get wrapped up in a fairytale.
I was no princess.
We were quiet for a moment, the hum of the small refrigerator by the counter filling the void between us.
“See you got lost in your past again. Stop looking over your shoulder Melody. No one can touch you here. Whatever it is you and Lyric came from, you’re gonna be fine with us.”
I blinked unsure how to reply. “Is it that obvious?”
She nodded. “Mostly though, I see the bravery. You have a spine of steel. You just need to embrace the woman you are inside.”
“What if I get pulled in and I can’t handle it here?”
“Then you remember this moment right here. The one where this old lady tells you that you belong. You aren’t meant to be someone’s bunny. You aren’t the kind of woman any man puts in the shadows. You are beautiful, brilliant, hardworking, and strong. You just need to see that for yourself. Find your anchor, drop it to the ground, and settle in.”
