Page 54 of Bound By Redemption
Makingmy way back up to my room to see Ensley, my heart felt for her, and all I wanted to do was wipe all of her pain away. I commended her for not being attached to the things in her house, but it still had to feel like a violation to her.
That someone would come into her place, trash it, and write such foul things on the walls. I didn’t want her blindsided, though. She had to hear it from me and no one else.
Anger hadn’t left me the entire time we unloaded. With each box or bag we'd brought up, I could feel the rage growing by leaps and bounds.
I’d been trained for years to control myself, to be a statue for whatever came my way. This, though … this was something else. Ensley could’ve been home with Remy. They could’ve been hurt.
No fucking way. No one fucked with what was mine. To keep a handle on the anger, rage, and need for revenge was getting harder by the second.
I wanted these assholes to pay. Wanted to watch them burn. Wanted to be the one to put a stake through their hearts. No one touched what was mine. They were mine, and I would wring them dry.
After moving all the things into our room, I wanted to see if there were cameras set on her place.
There were. A navy blue minivan was seen by her place. The reason I singled it out was because I’d watched the comings and goings of the complex for a few days on fast forward. The van was the only vehicle that had appeared out of place because it only came once. It ended up more difficult than we’d thought, considering the registration was a dead end. Yes it was rented, but the name on that rental was of a man who’d died two and half years ago.
I wasn’t able to get a clear picture of the man that went inside. A bit stocky with black cargo pants and an oversized hoodie up and over his head. If that damn building would’ve had a front view up the stairs, I would’ve gotten the bastard.
Just like with Ravage’s shit, I was nowhere. Nowhere but here with my girls and there was no other place I’d rather be.
Pulling out my key, I unlocked and opened the door. Ensley was sitting on the bed criss-crossed with papers spread out over the bed. When she looked up at me, tears rolled down her face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, moving to her quickly after locking the door. Sitting on the bed and wrapping myself around her, she trembled from the tears.
On the bed lay several sheets of multi-designed and colored papers. Some had pictures of a baby, and my eyes were attached to them. Remy. My little girl. I hadn’t seen any pictures of her growing up.
My heart expanded at how beautiful the little girl was that we had created. Chubby little cheeks and all. She barely had any hair on her head and the way her mouth was opened one would think she was mighty pissed off and screaming.
“It’s gone,” Ensley choked out, pulling up from me. “The hospital bracelet. It’s gone. So is her birth certificate. The certificate I can get again, but the bracelet.” She broke down in tears once again, and I held her.
Part of me felt robbed in missing all of these things in the book. The other part angry. The other part sad. Remy’s entire babyhood, I'd missed. There was no going back in time for a redo. I had to lock down those emotions because Ensley was on the edge, and I didn’t want her to tip over again.
“Sorry, baby. Anything else missing in here?”
“Haven’t made it all the way through. The bracelet got me.” She swiped at her face, pulling away and staring down at the piles on the bed. “I’ve never been materialistic, Micah. Growing up, we didn’t have much, and I can’t really remember anything ever being ‘mine,’ so I had no interest in acquiring things. Katie went the complete opposite and loves her ‘stuff’.”
She paused, looking up at me. “When Remy was born, her things started to mean a lot, so I’d keep them as memories. When I brought her home, she had that little bitty bracelet on her ankle, and I was so happy she was mine. She was this precious being that no one would take from me. No one would touch her. The stuff I’d dealt with growing up, it wouldn’t be this shadow over her. She was not from that world. That part of me was gone. That bracelet was a symbol to me that we got out. We got away from them, and now we’d live our lives the way we wanted to.”
My hand went to her back, rubbing up and down to hopefully soothe her. “I get that, babe.”
“It’s not like it’s a big deal. I mean, I have those memories, but I always thought that one day I’d show Remy along with some pictures. Let her know that she’s loved more than life itself. I never had that, Micah. My mother kept nothing.”
“You’re a great mom, Ensley.” I meant that down to my bones. Remy couldn’t have anyone better.
“I wanted Remy to have more, be more, dream more. And I don’t know but this bracelet not being in here just struck a blow that I didn’t know one small object could do.”
I pulled Ensley into me and wrapped her tight in my arms, kissing the top of her head. I may not be able to take the pain away, but I could at least give her all the comfort she needed.
“That’s normal, Ensley. You feel the way you want to feel. If you’re upset about a rock in your shoe, then be upset.”
She chuckled. “Not sure what that has to do with a bracelet, Micah.”
“It doesn’t, but it does. You wanted to do things different with your little girl, and you built a life with her on that principal. Someone tried taking that away from you, and it’s okay to be sad or angry. It means something to you. Hell, it means something to me, and I’ve never even see it. Feelings are feelings, Ens, and they are valid.”
Before being discharged we had to go through counseling and debriefing. It was a time to talk and reflect. I’d learned a great deal about myself during this time. It also cemented the idea that I wanted to be a part of the Ravage MC family. It seemed so long ago, but really it wasn’t.
“I’m so sorry.” Ensley started crying more. Obviously, my words were making it worse for her.
“For what?” I asked curiously. There was so much going on, it could be anything at this point.
