Page 11 of Bound By Consequences
“It’s okay.” I started to say it was not okay, but she put her finger to my lips. “Remember, I talked to the counselor. She told me that was to be expected. It’s okay.”
My head shook. “No. It’s not okay. You’re my mother, and I will do everything in my power never to talk to you that way again.”
She reached up and placed a kiss on my cheek. “I have your back, Micah. We will get through this.” She reached over and handed me a platter. “Now take this outside, and let’s eat.” I held the door for her, and we did just that.
My mother fawned over me and started rushing around to get me things. She handed me a red solo cup, which I took, and I leaned into her ear, whispering, “Love you, Mom. But I can get it myself.”
She pulled back, a tear in her eye. “Nonsense. You haven’t been home in years, and who knows what happened over in that sand pit. You’ll let me do this for you. Understand?”
A smile came to my lips. “Yeah, Ma. I got it.” She needed this. Something simple. While I didn’t like her working so hard around me when I was perfectly capable of handling getting my own food, I gave it to her and kept my mouth shut except to tell her ‘thank you.’ Knowing she had worried with every deployment and didn’t get to see me directly upon my return, having me right in front of her was important. She wanted to take care of me, I got it.
I’d return the favor soon. There was no doubt in my mind that with my mother there was a lot to fix. Not as much as my father, but it was still there, and I would show her how much she meant to me no matter what it took.
The brothers, for the most part, kept their distance which was understandable. I had no qualms with it. That was their play to have.
“So you done being a douche?” Austyn asked, coming to sit by me at the picnic table. A small grin lifted my lips. She, much like her mother, had never been one to hold back.
“Can’t say you won’t think of me like that again, but for the most part—yep.”
She shoulder checked me, but I didn’t move. “So some time in the sand pulled your head out of your ass, huh?”
Lifting the solo cup, I took a swallow. “Growing up did that. The sand was my job.”
“I’m pissed you didn’t tell me about my brother sooner,” she tossed out. I knew someone would bring it up at some point; I just didn’t expect it to come from Austyn first.
My grin died. “Look. I know everyone wants to know the story. Everyone has questions. Everyone wants to kick my ass. I get that. Understand that. Know this is no disrespect, but I’m talkin’ to the club first about the details.” Her face turned, and I knew she was going to let loose on me, so I kept going. “Know this, Austyn. I’m not the same man anymore. I did wrong. I have to atone for it. More than that I have to answer for it. I will. There is nothing I can say that will ever take back how I handled the situation. I have to live with that, the same way I have to live with the brothers in arms I watched die literally inches from me. What I can tell you, when I first stumbled upon the information, I didn’t believe it. I thought I was being set up. By the time I sorted out the facts, things were already out of hand for me. I needed a change. So I did what I had to do for myself, but I didn’t want to leave this information to be shared by a stranger or worse—an enemy. I felt like the only way to bring it to the table was through a brother, that brother being my dad. Did I handle it all wrong? Absolutely, but what is done is done.”
Her face changed just a bit, and if I were to blink, I probably would have missed it. The shock. She allowed it to register, albeit briefly, but it was there.
“Really?” she asked puzzled. “You understand the value and meaning behind brotherhood?”
“Yeah. Believe me or don’t. It’s the truth. As for the details behind it all, I’m talkin’ to the club first. Then, you can come at me with whatever you have.”
“I could just punch you in the nuts. Force you to talk,” she threatened with a look in her eyes that made me know she was serious.
“You could,” I relaxed my shoulders, before I continued, “but you won’t.”
A light shone in her eye, and she got me. Respect was something I lost all those years ago and needed to gain back. The Ravage MC was the focal point in both of our lives since we had been born. The difference between Austyn and I was that she fully understood it. She embraced everything Ravage. While my child brain didn’t.
Now. I got it.
“You’re lucky.”
She had no idea how lucky I really was. Hopefully she’d never find out.
4
Ensley
Sickness.It was all around me. Every breath. Every touch. Every surface. Every cough… Everywhere. One not so great perks of my job.
Wearing a mask and vinyl gloves were a must at all times. I didn’t even keep a water bottle at my desk knowing the coughs and sneezes would infect it immediately. When I left every night, I’d scrub myself here in the nurses’ station then take a shower as soon as I walked in the door.
It wasn’t that I was a germaphobe. It was more like aI don’t want my kid to get sickthing. No one came into the hospital because they felt great and were ready to run a triathlon. Being in this place was the most contagious, infectious area of the city, but it was my job, and for the most part, I liked it.
Smiling up at the man in front of me, not that he could tell because of my mask, he proceeded to sneeze repeatedly. My eyes closed with each one, just picturing all the sickness being thrown my way. With practice, I had learned to fight the instinct I had to press back in my chair and get away from the people. They couldn’t give me the proper information to check them in if I couldn’t manage to stay in front of them.
Thank God, he had tissues to control the spreading; not that he caught all of them. The particles in the air wreaked havoc on my mind.
