Page 5 of Bound By Consequences
Consequences.
They never crossed my mind.
The pain I would cause others didn’t matter.
The position I put both of my parents in, being torn between their son and their family, wasn’t something that even registered in the recesses of my mind.
I came home with an arrogance.
Entitlement.
That was the best way to describe my attitude after college.
These people owed me. In my mind, I should have returned, and they would fall in line with me.
Except, Ravage didn’t work like that.
Too stuck in my own thoughts and expectations, I couldn’t see what had been right in front of my face. That in no way was how anything occurred. The longer I was home, the worse I continued to make my situation.
The damage was done.
And for the first time, I recognized the problem was me. Except, I didn’t leave it at that. Like the punk-ass they all thought me to be, I had one final nail to put in my coffin. Dropping the bomb I held in my hands, I recklessly tossed the Ravage world on its very axis before taking off. I didn’t face it like a man, though. No, I let it be known I had sat on information for months, and when I finally made the choice to reveal my secrets, I did so by mail.
I had made up my mind that Sumner was not the place for me. In the days and weeks before I left, I learned a lot about myself. Losing Emery and what I thought were my given rights as the son of a Ravage member, I realized just how immature I had been. I wasn’t the man for her, my parents, or the club I so desperately hated and respected equally. The conflict inside of me was too much to bear. I knew what I had to do, and that could only be done away from home.
When I left Sumner behind me last time, I did it with the sole intention of getting my head screwed on straight. That was what no one knew. Finally, I could clearly see the damage I had caused at every turn. I recognized the pain I inflicted. More than anything, I simply knew the man I was then wasn’t the man to stand up and fix what I had destroyed.
Those words I tossed out, that attitude I carried around, and all the problems I caused, well, I’d have to answer for. The time to pay the piper, so to speak, was long overdue. Knowing retribution would come the moment those hateful words spilled from my lips didn’t stop me then. Now I knew I’d done wrong, and I was more than ready to get everything out. To be released from these chains that held me down for so long, and I would do so by any means necessary. It was time to release myself.
I was a boy lost in a world of chaos. Now, I was a man who understood my naivety, immaturity, and downright defiance were wrong and out of place. It was a very powerful realization.
The announcement bell pinged as we gathered our things, getting ready to exit the plane. All I hoped was there wouldn’t be too big of a delay. I missed my parents. We may not have seen eye to eye, but they were my family, and it was time for me to rebuild the bridge that had once burned to the ground. Time to let the past lie and move on.
The noise of the speaker coming to life rang through the space. “If everyone would kindly keep your seats, we have a local hero in our midst, and the Captain would like him to exit the plane first.”
Some flights did this, while others didn’t. It wasn’t something that bothered me, nor was it something I craved. It was just part of the job, a way civilians liked to show respect. We didn’t do this job for the recognition, though. We did it because we believed in the United States, our country. It’s the land of the free, because of the brave, as my mother would say. I was a United States Marine. I served my country with honor, courage, and commitment. There wasn’t a single thing in my life I was more proud of than my time in service.
The crowd looked around with groans on their lips. This was something else. Some people were pissed that the Captain would take five minutes to let someone off first. Everyone was so caught up in the hustle and bustle of their lives, their very freedom, that to be on this plane was something taken for granted. I know the cost of these luxuries we have in America. Things most people will never even be able to imagine. Just like now, they give you the snide eye or say something moronic, but all I could do was thinkI fought so you could act like an ass and say whatever you want.It wasn’t worth the time to get angry about. Life moved on.
The world pressed on.
The flip side to the inconsiderate fucks were the others. Those were people happy to sit and wait, with some even giving us a round of applause. Each person had a different view of seeing a Marine or supporting the military in general. It was the freedom for them to choose their path; that was why we did what we did. Why we spent sleepless nights in the smoking hot desert and put our lives in jeopardy every minute of the day.
I stood for the red, white, and blue. My country. The one I fought for so the people on this plane could moan and groan about being inconvenienced. It was what it was.
It wasn’t like my seabag didn’t give it away. The large waterproof green duffel bag had been my life for four long years. While packing it certainly took practice, I had packed up and carried mine on. My high and tight haircut, standard military order also, did nothing to hide the fact that I was a member of the service. The United States Marine Corps to be exact. Oorah!
The cockpit opened, and the Captain stepped out and walked straight to me. Rising from the chair, I stood in the aisle, as the Captain offered his hand. “Thank you for your service.”
Shaking his hand, I nodded in answer. There were no words that needed to be said.
“Get home.”
Yep. It was time to go home and see how my life would be now. What had changed? What was the same? Who would hate me, which I knew a lot would. And by some miracle, who would give me a second chance? The hate, the consequences, they were all part of it. Could I overcome the shadow of the boy I once was? This was yet to be determined. My goals, my thoughts, my entire being was different than the person I was when I left here last time. They didn’t know that, though, and I wasn’t so sure anyone cared to give me an opportunity to find out who the man I was today happened to be.
Without missing a beat, my eyes scanned the space ahead of me. My mother, also known as Blaze, was the first person I saw as I exited the plane, tears streaming down her face. Her hand in a fist over her lips as she tried to breathe. She’d always been beautiful, and that hadn’t changed one bit. Even with tear streaks running down her face. She loved me in a way I didn’t understand before, but I treasured it now.
Next to her was my father, Andrew, but he went by Tug. He had a wide smile on his face. We had shit to work out, but he was obviously happy to have me home. There was a time I never thought we would be in this place, but I’m damn sure glad we were now. It took a long time. When he told me he was proud of me two years ago after meeting me for a visit, the tension in our relationship began to slightly uncoil. There was a lot more to go, but it was a start, and I’d take it.
