Page 36 of Bound By Consequences
The men in front of me started chuckling. Puke. Great. Such was my life for a while.
Truth be told, this shit didn’t matter. Earning their respect back did.
I shrugged my shoulders, then looked at each of the men. “I’ll be asking again,” I said, turning on my boot and tamping down my frustration as I headed to the bathroom.
Yeah. I would be asking a lot of questions about Cyrus. That was for sure.
13
Ensley
“You sure you’re alright?”Benji, a co-worker who was in charge of labs, asked. I saw Benji all the time, and therefore he knew me far too well. Hell, anyone who saw me today would know something was up. There was no way to hide the thoughts blackening my life. No amount of makeup would hide the fear of what could happen with Micah. It was weighing me down like a chain around my leg. The more I pulled it to me, the more it clashed and clanged, drawing attention to me.
Silly me, I thought my days of this kind of stress, worry, and uncertainty were over. Oh how wrong I was.
Add that in with the lack of sleep, my body felt the fatigue wearing me into the ground. I didn’t sleep after Ryker and Austyn left my apartment last night. I couldn’t.
No matter what I did, there was no escaping all the racing thoughts going through my brain. The what-ifs. The plans that I could make to keep Remy and I safe. Everything just kept coming from all different angles, threatening to make me collapse.
Remy loved the members of the Ravage MC, and taking her away from that would break her heart. But what else was I supposed to do? No way in hell Micah would take my baby. No way in hell I’d allow that.
What if the Ravage MC sided with Micah, though? Remy was Micah’s daughter, Tug’s grandkid. Blood. What was to say the MC wouldn’t rally around Micah to get Remy away from me? I knew Ryker said it wouldn’t happen, but Micah was Tug’s son. He had more ties to the club than I had as Ryker’s cousin.
Yes, some of the thoughts, now that I looked back on it, were a bit irrational. Most of them were in panic mode.
There were just so many possibilities on how this could and couldn’t work out.
In this moment, I had zero answers, and today I wore that fear on my aura. Apparently, everyone could read it.
“Yeah,” I lied, which I hated doing, but I had to. While we were good colleagues, we weren’t on a know everything about me level.
I kept everything quiet. It was imperative to my family’s survival. Therefore, no one knew my business except a very select few, none of whom I worked with.
Benji tried more than once to get me to open up to him. After a year of keeping myself closed up tight, he finally backed off. I wasn’t stupid. I might not have known a lot about men, but I knew Benji liked me and wanted to ask me out.
Every sign I gave him, though, was a no go, and I had to admit when he got that message, I was elated. The come-ons were becoming way too in my face. I didn’t like it, but I was happy we were now on good terms. The last thing I needed was for him to get the wrong idea and think this was his long awaited shot. I wasn’t in the market for a man in my life, and even if I was Benji wasn’t my type.
“You need anything, anything at all, you let me know.” Benji knocked on the desk twice then went back to the lab room.
Relief filled me. It wasn’t a nice thing to feel, but I didn’t have the energy to deal with Benji or anyone at this point.
The night dragged on with patient after patient getting checked in for this or that. It was a revolving door of sickness. While I was tired, the hustle and bustle of the night left me no room to doze off. Which was good. Nothing an employer liked more than catching someone they were paying to be sleeping on the job. I needed this job, and no matter what I wouldn’t fuck it up. Keeping busy made the time tick by quickly.
The excitement of the night, if one could call it that, was a GSW, gunshot wound, to a seventeen-year-old kid. The cops were going in and out of the space, and every time I turned around there was another one.
I had nothing to hide from the cops, but I in no way had the energy to entertain a single one of them.
My life might have been a clusterfuck at the moment, but it would work itself out. I didn’t know how, but it had to. Failure wasn’t an option. No matter what I had to do, I’d make sure Remy was safe. She was my main priority, had been since I’d found out I was pregnant, and she would be until I took my last breath on this earth.
Clocking out didn’t come fast enough, but I jumped at the chance to be one of the first ones out. Normally, I’d wait until the next person after me was settled before taking off, just in case they had any questions or needed me. Not tonight. Tonight, I was out of there.
Katie had to work, but I needed to talk to her beforehand. Therefore, I drove with a purpose, watching the clock. Luckily her car was still in the lot as I got out of my car and ran up the stairs to our apartment.
Opening the door, she smiled up at me. Her smile died instantly when she saw my face. Katie wasn’t home yesterday except for the brief moment in passing when I had to go to work, and she had no idea what was happening. Yet, here I was crumbling and trying with everything inside of me to stand upright.
“Remy’s dad is part of the Ravage MC,” I blurted out in a rush, then looked around the space to make sure Remy wasn’t up. That should’ve been first, but dammit I needed my sister. She was my rock, and I needed that now more than ever.
A thump hit the kitchen counter as her coffee cup came down. The clatter was so loud it would be surprising if the mug hadn’t broken.
