28
Carsyn
I layin Nox’s bed unmoving, watching the sun go down and night appear. He hasn’t come back, or at least, hasn’t come back to his room. Part of me wonders if he’s out there with his brothers and just doesn’t want to look me in the eyes. While the other part,hopes that he’s off doing whatever it is he does.
Sleep came and went, now only worry fills me. Is he okay? Did I cause him to get hurt too? What about his brothers? Even in sleep these questions tumbled around me, and I’m unable to answer them.
Princess is wise even if I don’t want to listen to what she says. Giving up after all of this is hard not to do. It’s right there pullingme to just throw my hands up and get out of here once again.
Swinging my legs over to the side of the bed, I sit up just as a knock comes to the door. Nerves prickle, but I ask, “Yes?”
“It’s Austyn. Let me in.”
Sucking in a breath, I get up on shaky legs, walk to the door, unlock it and step back. Austyn greets me with a smile. “Hi,” she says and comes in the room while Ishut the door behind her. She isn’t attacking me, even though I deserve it.
“Hey.”
Austyn moves to the bed and sits down on the corner, and it’s then that I realize Nox doesn’t have any chairs in his room. Therefore, I sit on the bed as well.
“Talked to Mom.”
A sharp breath is sucked in through my teeth. “Yeah.”
“I get it, Carsyn, more than I want to. I’d thoughtabout it myself.” This shocks me, but I stay quiet listening to her. “I was raped, beaten, and became pregnant.”
“Oh shit.” The words escape before I can hush them.
“Yeah. Nox told us a little when you came here.” She smiles. “We Ravage are a little hard to take in sometimes.”
I nod, because yes, they very much are. Their world is so much different than what mine had been.
“We all have our own stories that have led us to this point in our lives. Some are rockier than others, while others have it smooth sailing. I never asked to be attacked. Neither did you. I never asked to suffer for days afterward. Neither have you.”
Her words touch me. “I… I’m the reason Dagger’s dead. How can you sit there and not be mad at me?”
“I want to be angry, but allI am is sad. Sad that Dagger’s gone, and sad that we don’t know for sure who took him from us. We don’t know anything for fact yet. I’ve learned over the years to get all the information in order.” She shrugs. “I remember you.”
“I remember you too.”
She giggles. “You remember my brother more.”
My cheeks stain red. “Yeah. I do.”
“You know I used to tease him about you,”Austyn says, and my eyes shoot to hers while a smile graces her face. “Yeah. I’d catch him looking at you and give him shit. He always said that you deserved so much in this life. I told him lots of times to ask you out freshman year, but he’s a guy.”
“I would’ve loved that.”
“Yeah. I looked you up.”
My body jolts. “You did?”
“Yeah, and I didn’t put two and two togetherwith Carsyn being you. I don’t know why, but I didn’t. Now I understand better.”
“Understand what?” This conversation is taking twists and turns to a whole new level.
“Why he got you out. Why he risked getting in trouble with the brothers. Why he took his punishment and didn’t complain once about it.”
“Punishment?” I breathe.