Page 6 of Bound by Wreckage
My entire body lights on fire.
My freshman year of high school we met and were acquaintances. I wouldn’t say friends because I didn’t have many of them. But everyone knew Nox. He was a force to be reckoned with even at fourteen.
I want to answer him but fear it at the same time. My life didn’t turn out anything like I’d planned, and to have him see me like this is a crush to my pride, what I have left of it. Hell, would he even recognize my name after all these years? I’m probably making more of this than it is.
“Carsyn Devero.” My voice is small and barely a whisper, just waiting for the dismissal of himnot remembering me.
A wide smile comes across his face, knocking me for a loop. His smile completely transforms his face. One moment he’s scary as hell, the next—gorgeous. “I knew I recognized you.” There is this distinct Georgia drawl to his words that only makes my ears want to hear every word he speaks and never stop listening.
This should have me elated that he remembers someonelike me, but inside I feel embarrassed that I let things in my life get this bad. Not only that, but for him to see my demise.
Something churns in my gut, this feeling that I can’t quite shake. Hell, I’m not even sure where it’s coming from, but it’s riding me hard. Somehow, it’s compelling me, and I have no idea why. I don’t owe anything to them. My stomach turns and churns. The urge toprotect him hits me like a bulldozer. If this is a trap set up by Buck, then I’ll face the hell. Nox, he didn’t strike me as the kind of guy back then to align himself with a man like Buck. I may not know him now, but my gut screams to help him. Lennox Cruz doesn’t deserve to get sucked into the downright nasty world Buck’s in.
“Whatever he told you is a lie. I don’t know what you havegoing on with him, but don’t believe a word that comes out of his mouth.”
Nox’s face turns stoic in a split second, so much so that I can’t get a read on him. Being in this house for so long usually that’s easy for me, reading how people are feeling around me and learning when the blows will come. It’s been a curse and a gift, but not with him. He’s a stone brick and with the darkness,it doesn’t help.
Why in the fuck did you just do that? You should’ve kept your damn mouth shut.
The churning turns to bile, and it rises as the paranoia sets in. I have to fight it down, but it’s difficult. That was a stupid move. I know better, I fucking know better. This is a critical error, and it could cost me more than my life. The punishments Buck gives out… I would ratherbe dead. “Don’t tell him I told you that. Please. I have to go.”
I turn on my heel to go in the back way, but a strong hand wraps around my wrist. His touch isn’t like Buck’s. No, Nox’s is gentle, yet firm. There will be no marks on my body from this, but the vibes coming off him are intense, halting my steps and making me pay attention.
“Why do you say that?” he growls. I wrestlearound what to tell him, but all that plagues me is to tell him the honest truth.
“Because he lies about everything.” The panic is winning. I have to get away. “I really have to go before he finds me out here.” I tug my arm, but he doesn’t let me go, keeping his intense gaze on me.
“Like he’s your brother? Is that a lie? I don’t remember you ever having a brother.”
Brother,isn’t that a fucking joke. “Stepbrother. We aren’t blood related. Now let go.” I try to jerk away, but he keeps a grip without hurting me or getting tighter.
“What do you know?” His demand has shivers forming down my spine.
“I’m to be seen and not heard. Now you have to go, and so do I. The consequences for betraying him are too high.”
He shakes his head, and I look aroundto see if Buck or any of his guys have come out and this little show has caught their attention. Luckily, not yet. There’s still time.
“Wanna tell me why you’re here with a man who lies and hits you.”
I tear my arm out of his grasp as hard as I can. “I have no choice.” Turning on my heel, I dart into the darkness. This time though, he doesn’t come after me. A small part of me isdisappointed, but I know better than to hold on to any kind of hope.
There is no savior in my story. The only one who will ever save me is my damn self. I didn’t lie to Nox. I don’t have a choice, but one day, choice or not, I’ll get far away from here. Far away from him. I have to. It will be my only solace, and it’s the only hope I hold onto.
That’s the thing about hope, the moreyou feel it the harder it is when it crushes you. I’d had hope several times only to be squashed, and I paid the price. My only hope is that Nox had a better life than I did.
Nox grew up even better looking than he was in school, and I didn’t think that was possible. Everyone knew his family was part of the Ravage MC, and that’s a big reason no one messed with him. He was nothing but achildhood crush, and that’s all he’ll ever be.
The rumble of bikes echoes the night air as I slip into the house and quickly make my way to the bathroom. If Buck finds me in here, he won’t question it.
My ass hits the cool stool and my head goes into my hands. I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have warned them about Buck, and I shouldn’t have told him who I am. It was stupid.Now I can only hope that Buck never finds out. He won’t kill me, but he’ll make me hurt. Badly.
After doing my business and washing my hands, the reflection in the mirror stares back at me. I don’t even recognize myself anymore. The girl who went to live with Buck at fifteen is long gone, and in her place is a complete stranger. The hair is fake, and the makeup covers all the imperfectionsof my skin, including the scars on my lip or forehead. My eyes bleed like all the life has drained out of them, and I hate that.
No one can see the hurt beneath the façade, but that’s what Buck wants. It’s why he keeps me under his thumb. Seeing Nox and knowing I’d never have anything with a man like him cuts me deep. The longing I refuse to give into comes back. The hope for a differentlife that I washed away years ago is here in my thoughts. I need to shut it down. Stop the daydreaming, stop the hoping, the wishing, and the reminders to myself of things that will never be. Such as a man like Nox being with a woman like me. It wasn’t what my mom and I talked about. It wasn’t how I saw my life becoming.
Day by day, my mother is the only person who pushes me through asI hold her memory close. I have a small heart on my thumb that I rub my ring finger on. It’s been my saving grace many times.
The door opens, and I turn quickly.
