Page 68 of Bound by Wreckage
24
Carsyn
We walk backto the hotel, Nox’s arm around my shoulders holding me close, his heat warming me. He hasn’t taken it off since we sat down, and I’m grateful for it. While I know his brothers would never hurt me because I have that trust in Nox, it helped in thatI didn’t think of the times when being with that many men hurt. When their smiles came with ease and the teasing tone they obviously have, it helped me to settle down a bit.
Green is intense. It’s a quiet type, like he’ll take anyone out and they won’t even know it happened. Since I’ve met him before it helped.
Jacks is his own brand of dangerous. When his gaze lands on you, it takesyour breath away. Like he’ll rip someone’s head off their body in a second just for looking at him wrong.
Ryker is a nut, and it surprises me that he’s with Austyn in that he’s a teaser. But, what do I know, I haven’t seen Austyn since I was fifteen-years-old; change is what we’ve all done.
Deke. Holy motherfucking shit. Deke. That man I would not want to piss off in any way, shape,or form. He could crush anyone with just a damn look. I caught him several times with a smile tipping his lip, relaxing the features on his face, and even that was scary.
Cooper is an older version of Nox, but different too. Their personalities are similar from what I can gather, but Cooper seems wiser in a way, like he’s been around the block a few too many times. He also loves to givehis baby brother shit.
All of them together—holy hell, it was hard to talk, but I tried. Intimidation is not even the word for it, but they were cool allowing me to relax a bit.
Now, we lay on the bed with only the television playing, shining its light in strobes across the room. My head rests on Nox’s chest as he breathes in and out in a calming rhythm. The sounds of his heartbeatare a lullaby. His fingers draw small circles on my shoulder sending shocks and tingles through me.
Safe. Comfortable. Protected. Those are exactly the emotions running through me. But I don’t know what this is. He says I’m going back with him to the clubhouse, but what after that? Just because he missed me doesn’t mean he wants me to be with him permanently.
So many questions rollthrough me.What do I do after we get to the clubhouse? Where am I going to live because Buck isn’t going to give up on me? Why would I bring all my shit down on the club? Why would Nox even want to put himself in that situation?
Everything twists and turns inside of me. I guess right now, I just need to take one day at a time. ODAT, as my mother would call it. She was wise, teaching methings even at a young age. Damn, I miss her and wonder what she’d tell me to do in this situation. Would she be proud I held my ground today, or disappointed I took someone’s life? While Nox is right, it was them or me, it still is painful. Big Jim’s opened dead eyes staring back at me will haunt me for a while.
“You’re thinkin’ awfully hard there. Care to share?”
No, I don’t, butsince it’s Nox, I will. “Just trying to piece my life together.”
“Tell me about Nashville.”
I shift and look up at him, his shimmering brown eyes captivating me. “How’d you know I was there?”
A cocky grin graces his lips, and it is the sexiest thing. “Had my sister do some tracking and found you got a job there.”
School girl giddiness makes my smile appear. He lookedme up. He gave a shit even when I didn’t know. He was taking my back even though I pushed him away. “Yeah. I really liked it there. I made a friend, had a good job, and felt safe. That was until…”
“What spooked you enough to take off to St. Louis?”
Shivers go down my spine, not wanting to remember but unable to forget. “Butterflies,” I whisper.
“What about them?”
Irest my head on his chest and speak like not looking at his face will lessen the blow. “I went to the grocery store and when I came back my room was trashed. It freaked me out, but not as much as the tub filled with dead butterflies did.”
“You’re shittin’ me?”
My head shakes as I look up into his brown depths, feeling anger coming from him. “But what I don’t understand is that ifBuck found me, why he didn’t stay in my room and take me then. Why let me leave and make my way across states? It doesn’t make sense.”
“People do fucked up shit. You know that better than anyone. We’ll figure out what’s goin’ on.” He kisses the top of my head, and flutters occur in my chest. I love when he does that. It’s such a simple gesture, but it means so damn much.
“Yeah,”I whisper, placing my hand on his chest and feeling the hardness beneath. My body lights up. It’s him. Only him who does it to me.
“Tell me about the red and black butterfly,” he asks and a slow smile crosses my face. He’ll be the only one I tell this secret. It’s only his and mine to share.
“Red and black for Ravage.” I bend down and move so he can see the tattoo clearly. “Do yousee anything inside?”
He sits up and looks, his finger tracing the lines, and my heart melts. I never thought I’d have the opportunity to feel his hands on me again and touching the tattoo, the one I got just for him, is taking my breath away.
