Page 62 of Bound by Wreckage
22
Carsyn
My cheek stingsfrom someone hitting it repeatedly, but I’m groggy and can’t move much. My head feels heavy like I’ve been hit one too many times. The hits keep coming as I hear, “Wake your fuckin’ ass up. You think I won’t fuck you while you’re passed out?”Another hit, this one harder than the last. “Bitch, I like to see your fear. Just like with those fuckin’ butterflies. Woulda had you then, but Ranger shit came up and had to bounce.”
Fuck him. Big Jim has always been an ass, but what should I expect considering who he hangs out with. It’s just another day for him to take what he wants from a woman.
I pretend to be still out of it,checking out my arms and legs to see if they can move. Fighting is my only way out of here, then I pause. Buck’s voice isn’t there. Maybe he’s not here. Is he? Surely, he’d be back here with me if he was.
It’s not like him to leave his revenge on me to someone else. He’s too angry with me for that to happen. He’ll want to see me hurt for himself.
“We got about fifteen until we getthere,” Cary D’s voice rings out from the driver’s seat.
“Fuck,” Big Jim growls, punching me hard in the jaw with what feels like a hardened fist, and I scream out unable to hold it in as my jaw shifts painfully. “Knew you were fucking awake.” He starts unbuttoning my pants, and my stomach turns remembering all the times I have been in this position. All the times I’ve been in agony overthe years, not just from Big Jim but from all of them.
The times when I’ve felt helpless and demeaned. The times when I couldn’t walk or even stand because my insides hurt so damn bad I bled for days unable to get it to stop. There were times it felt like every time I peed my insides would literally fall out into the toilet. The flesh worked so raw that even the softest of toilet paperfelt like sandpaper against my girlie bits.
Hatred spreads through my heart, exploding throughout my body and making it tingle and come alive. A rush comes over me yelling for me to defend myself.
No. My fists clench. I’m not going to let him touch me. Never a-fucking-gain. My jaw throbs, and I move my head to the side trying to take in my surroundings, quickly looking for anythingto help me and keeping my legs spread far apart to make it harder for Big Jim to work.
That’s when I see a gun, black and glinting next to the side door of the van. It’s further over than my reach and I’ll have to get Big Jim off of me, but there’s a chance I can do it as long as my body works. It’s my only shot.
Fear rides me hard, but I push it down. There will be plenty of timeto let it come out, if I make it out of here. It’s not worth my energy right now.I must get out.
My wrists are taped together in front of my body and I’m lying on my completely filled backpack which is not comfortable, but it’s there. That is a good thing.
Use your legs, knees, and feet. They are very powerful things on a woman.Gunny’s voice flickers through my mind. I practicedwith him a lot and he’s a big man, getting him with my knee a couple of times. He told me he wastaking one for the team, but he wouldn’t let me do it if he could stop it. It was great practice. Gunny isn’t quite as big as Big Jim, but not by much and I can do this. No, I have to do this.
You want to find your happy in this world, Carsyn, then show them you won’t go down without a fight.
Using my clasped arms, I hit Big Jim hard in the head as he grunts and begins cussing. Wasting no time as he shakes his head, I knee him in the balls hard using everything I have and kick him in the shins with my tennis shoe. He falls back with a thump, rage pouring off of him in waves.
“You fuckin’ cunt!” he yells as I angle toward the gun and shift myself to the side. It’s rightthere, only a couple of inches away, and I reach with everything I have. Something or, I should say, someone grabs me by the ankle roughly and pulls me back away from it as I clutch onto the dirty floor looking for something to grasp. There are no seats in the back leaving a large space for whatever in the hell this is. It also gives me more room to push Big Jim away.
Using my legs, I kickhis knee cap hard hearing a crack, then kick his face. The blow isn’t as hard as intended, and he reaches up and grabs my hair callously and pulls it along with me back. I scream loudly as the van veers off to the left side, taking Big Jim and I with it as we roll. Luckily, Big Jim’s grip loosens just enough for me to twist and put my thumbs inside of his eyeballs, pressing in hard and fast andcatching him off guard.
Using everything I can, I push in and kick at the same time hitting him in the nuts once again, trying to stop his hands and arms from reaching out to me. He screams, his arms coming out to grasp me harshly. I push into his eye sockets one more time making sure my thumbnails feel liquid on them, hoping there’s major damage to his vision and smack him on the headtwice with my fists clasped as hard as I possibly can.
Big Jim falls to the back door screaming and covering his eyes as he tries to move. Blood rushes down his face.
“You bitch!” Cary D says from the front, and I waste no time grabbing the gun, holding it out steady at Cary D.
“Stop the car!” I yell, but Cary D holds a gun up of his own and twists it to me. There are no thoughtsthat come in my head. That’s a lie. Only one word—survival.
In the movies, they make shooting someone look glamorous and badass. Like you can just pull the trigger and the bad guys collapse gracefully to the floor. Me. I’m just trying to get out of this alive. Everything is in slow motion, but happening extremely fast. It’s a mix of determination and survival.
Finger on the triggerand hand steady, I pull it twice hitting Cary D once in the forehead and once in the jaw. Blood splatters all over the car as his limp body falls forward against the steering wheel, and we start to swerve. My back slams against the back of the passenger side seat, but I hold steady.
Fuck, I didn’t think about stopping the van. The vehicle jerks off to the side and tosses me into the passengerseat, and I narrowly miss hitting my head on the windshield. Panic surges when I see we’re moving across the road. Rushing to the driver’s side, I slam on the brakes, the van screeching as I shove it in park.
“You bitch!” Big Jim growls, coming toward me, his arms aimlessly waving in front of him to find me, but he’s quick. There’s nowhere for me to go. I’m locked between the driver andpassenger seats. It’s him or me, and it sure as fuck isn’t going to be me.
Big Jim reaches out to grab me and I pull the trigger three times, his body falling hard on mine. My legs are at an awkward angle, and pain is shooting up my spine from landing on my backpack. Big Jim gurgles and his body trembles on top of me. I use every bit of strength I can muster, but can’t get his heavy bodyoff of mine.
It brings the term dead weight to reality as his breathing stops along with his body.
The gun bites between Big Jim and I, his blood running down onto my body.
