Page 41 of Bound by Wreckage
I nod, my head still resting on his hard chest knowing that I’ll never makethat call because it would put him in danger. That having him this close to me will never happen again.
“You won’t need a job while you’re here. It’ll be good for you to lay low for a few months, just to make sure you’re not tracked. Gunny will take care of you.”
All I want is for you to be here with me. To hold me and not ever let me go.
Pushing back all the thoughts, I pullback and look up at him, his beautiful brown eyes that I will forever see in my dreams on me. “You be happy, Nox. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. It doesn’t feel like balance.”
“You safe and happy is all I want.”
I’m not sure that will ever happen with you gone.
I nod. “Have a safe trip.”
The tears threaten, and I’m only hanging on by a thread. He has togo so I can mourn this. So this hurt can escape me.
“Yeah. You have a great life, Carsyn.” Nox’s eyes don’t have the same glitter they did when we had sex. They don’t have the warmth I’ve come to know and love. They are hurting, just as I’m sure mine are. I hate that I’ve done that to him, but I know this is the only way.
He leans down pressing his lips to mine, and the kiss I cravethis time hurts. My heart is bleeding. I want to tell him not to go. To stay with me and not move—although I can’t.
Nox pulls away, and I take a step back.
“You’re gonna be good,” he says with finality as he kisses my forehead and gets into the car. Everything inside of me is screaming to tell him to stop. That he was right, that I should just go with him.
But I can’t.
I can’t put him in danger after everything he’s done for me. He can never be hurt. My mom always believed in karma. She said that good people will have good things. Nox is good people and deserves to be happy and far away from me. No matter how much it hurts me.
He rolls down the passenger side window. “You sure you’re okay?”
“Yes.”
Dammit, just go so I can let all thisout. The emotions are building to the point of combustion.
He nods once. “Take care of yourself, Carsyn.”
“You too, Nox.”
He starts the car, throws it in reverse, and faster than he came into my life—he’s gone.
Only then do I crumble to the ground as the sobs rack me from the inside out. My body shakes as the pain unleashes itself once again.
He’s gone.
And somehow, I have to figure out how to do life on my own.
Be happy, Nox. You have to be happy.
Until we meet in another life…
One can hope.
