Page 55 of Bound by Destiny
“Thanks,” I answer because it feels genuine. Maybe he’s taken a long look at himself and came to the same conclusion as I did.
He clears his throat. “I came by to tell you I’m leaving.”
This shocks me, and I narrow my eyes. “What? You just got back to Sumner and now you’re going to run away before you fix everything?” Yes, I still care. He’s been in my life for far too long not to. It’s more of a cousin kind of caring, but it’s still there, and him leaving is not going to solve any of the problems he has right now with the club.
“I’m not runnin’ away.”
I sit back in the couch, anger firing out of my pores. “Sounds like it to me.”
“Just listen.” He situates his body with his knee resting on the couch in front of him and his full body turned to me. There’s a couple of feet between us, but it feels like miles. “I enlisted.”
I jump up from my seat as the rage burns hot as lava. “You did what? Micah, have you lost your mind?”
“No. I haven’t. Please sit down.”
Hands on hips, I do not sit down. “You’ve been away for years, come back, and now you’re going to leave for another four years? I don’t get it, Micah. How is that going to fix anything?”
I have to shake my hands as they feel sweaty. My uncle Cruz was in the Marines, and I know Dagger was in one of the branches. I love our military and support it wholeheartedly, but what gets me is he’s running. Just like he always has been. Nothing has changed with him. Zero.
“It’s not going to fix the family part, but I think it’s going to fix me.”
Taking a deep breath, I sit back down as he continues.
“Em, you’ve been involved here all your life. Me, I’ve been a loner never really connecting with anyone but you.”
“So you’re going to blame me?”
He shakes his head. “No, I’m not blaming you in the slightest. It’s me. I’m not who I want to be. I need to experience being part of a team. I need training. I need to be more and serve a bigger purpose that I am right now.”
“You do realize they’ll send you into war and you could die.”
He shrugs like he doesn’t care, pissing me off more. “I know it’s a risk, Emery, but I’m willing to take it. If going in will help me become who I believe I could be, then it’s worth it. And my dad was Army, and he turned out like I should be.”
I get that he looks up to his father, but this still doesn’t make sense to me. “You’ve graduated college at twenty-one. You have a job that pays you bucket loads of money and a family right here. You want to leave all of that?”
“I’m not ready to be a part of this club, Emery. Not only that, theyknowI’m not ready. By going in, it will allow me to grow up quickly. It will teach me to be a stronger man and not feel so damn weak against all the other members of the club. Is there a risk that I still won’t be able to join even after serving, yep, but it’s the same risk as going to war. No one can predict the future, Emery.”
I roll his words around in my head and the panic I have for Jacks multiplies for Micah. “If I would’ve chosen you, would you still be leaving?”
“Can’t answer that, Em, cause I don’t know. I see what you were talking about, Emery. What we felt isn’t what I want from a woman. I want to need her with every breath I take. I want her to need me just as badly. What we had wasn’t that, Em, and I know it now. It’s taken me time to sort out, but I get it and I’m glad you’re happy. That’s what I’ve always wanted for you.” He rests his head on his bent arm casually. This is a huge turning point in his life, and he seems at peace with it. He appears to really want this and is happy with his decision.
What else is there for me to do but be happy for him. It doesn’t mean that I won’t be scared for him, but I’ll also stand by him, just like I would have if he wanted to walk away from the club for good all those months ago. This time, though, I’ll do it from a different point of view. A woman caring for her friend and afraid of what he might endure.
It won’t be from the eyes of a lover.
“I’m happy for you, Micah, just please be careful.”
He rises from the couch on a smile and opens his arms wide. I follow and inhale him one last time, because who knows if or when he’ll come back to visit.
“Be happy, Emery.”
He pulls away and leaves me standing in the middle of the basement. It’s only then that I let all the emotions of the past week hit me like a wave. I collapse to my knees and let the tears wash it all away.
24
Jacks
Court.
