Page 41 of Bound by Destiny
Life has a horrible way of showing you the worst of things. One minute everything is going smoothly—the next you’re hit with something so hard that your insides feel broken, battered, and bruised. I feel like the loss of Pops will be something that will eat away at me. That it’ll eat away at the family.
No matter the words I pray or the hope that I have, there is nothing I can do except sit here and wait. It makes you want to cling on to those you love even harder because time is never guaranteed. Just like Jacks said to me before.
I could not wake up tomorrow. It makes me want to keep living my life of spending time with my family and keeping them closer than ever.
Ma steps into the waiting room, a grim look on her face, and my stomach leaves my body. Jumping up, both Austyn and I look at her. “He’s still out. His machines went all over the place, and they had to give him some more medicine through his IV. They stabilized him, but everything is touch and go.”
Ma breaks down crying and Austyn and I put our arms around her tightly, Princess coming up to join us. We’re all cocooned around Ma giving her the only thing we can, our love and support. She’s been with Pops since she was nineteen-years-old. She’s been with Pops for forty-seven years.
I can only hope that I’m with Jacks for that long, to be able to enjoy each other through the ups and downs of life. I may be getting really ahead of myself, but I don’t care. I care for him deeply, and it’s a relief that the conclusion came when it did. It was one less stressor.
This has taught me that I’m done playing with my own heart and listen to it.
For almost double my lifetime, Ma and Pops have been by one another’s sides. Ma is damn strong, but I fear this will destroy her. She’ll need us more than ever.
“Come sit down, Ma,” Princess says, and we all back up as she takes Ma to the chair. Austyn sits next to her, and I sit across. Not as close as I’d like, but the woman needs to breathe.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Ma says, shaking her head. “I want to kill the next doctor that tells me we have to wait.”
This brings a ghost of a smirk to my lips, happy that she’s got her fight inside of her and it hasn’t been deflated.
“I knew I should’ve gone to the doctor with him. If I had, I’d have known about his damn heart. I can’t believe he didn’t tell me. When he wakes up he’s going to hear it!” The last part is punctuated hard. Her hope is what flames mine. She didn’t say ‘if he wakes up’. No, she said ‘when’ giving me that spark I need to keep fighting.
Amazing she doesn’t even know she did it, but it’s one of her gifts. She gives freely and without reservation. She’s been the mother hen of the club forever. Even when Princess took over as the head ol’ lady, Ma was never far behind.
I’ve admired her since I was born. She’s so loving and caring, but tough and ruthless when she needs to be. I break for her at what could be. But no more of those thoughts.
From now on, I will only have hope.
We sit for quite a while after Ma gets up and goes back into the room. Then I start pacing, unable to sit any longer. Each step on the shiny linoleum not getting me any further than I was an hour ago.
I hear boot steps off in the distance and look up to see Jacks coming my way. Running, I launch myself at him, not caring that he’s holding a computer in his hands. He wraps one arm around me as I pull from his strength and warmth.
He kisses my temple. “Gorgeous, need to talk to Austyn. It’s important.” Only then do I pull away from him and see the fire of hatred dancing in his eyes. It’s not directed at me, but something big is going on here.
Buzz comes up. “Just got the call. I’m out.” And he disappears without another word.
We stroll up to Austyn and Jacks kneels in front of her, holding out the laptop and getting very quiet. There are other people here, but they are on the other side of the room, everyone giving us a wide berth.
Jacks puts a cell phone on top of the computer. Princess says nothing but waits to listen. All the while my stomach is flip-flopping at the seriousness in Jacks’ tone.
Jacks’ voice is low. “Need you to look up everything you can on Ransom, aka Carry Springdale. Need you to find out if he has any children, possibly one named Derk, exes; brothers, sisters, distant fuckin’ relatives. I need their names, address, date of birth and any other thing you can pull up on them. Use this cell’s hot spot—it’s secure, but I need you to start now. Get into a corner, and we’ll block prying eyes. Cruz knew you wouldn’t leave, but we need you on this.”
“You’re fuckin’ shittin’ me, Jacks,” Princess says as we get up and move to the far corner so Austyn’s back is facing the wall with no one being able to see what she’s working on.
“Nope. Wish I was.”
“We can’t tell Ma this,” Princess says immediately with conviction. “She’s hangin’ on by a thread right now, and this will destroy her.”
I nod, knowing that Ma has to be very raw right now, as everyone is and the mention of Ransom’s name being involved in this will only make things ten times worse. She blamed herself back in the day for the troubles that Ransom brought to Ravage’s door, even though they weren’t her fault. She’ll do the same with this, and we can’t add onto her pain.
“Right. Austyn, need you to work fast.”
Austyn nods, opens the laptop, and all we hear is the clicking of the keys. Moving the chairs into a circle around Austyn, Jacks puts his back to her, while Princess and I put our backs to the room.
Jacks reaches over, lifts my hand, and puts a kiss on the top of it. That’s when I notice his hands. His knuckles are split and cracked with blood dried on them. Without a word, I kiss each one of them until there are no more to kiss and set our joined hands in my lap.
Hours pass as I rest my head on Jacks’ chest. We’ve been here all night and now into the early morning. I’ve gotten up several times to get Austyn sodas and coffee to keep her going. She says each time I give her one that she’s fueled by pure adrenaline, but she gulps down whatever I put in front of her.
