Page 35 of Bound by Destiny
I park away from everything and run up to the house.
“Stop!” a police officer yells with his gun up. Yeah, I’m not too damn bright at the moment, but all I want to do is check on Emery and make sure she’s okay. Halting, I lift my hands up.
“My girlfriend just called and told me to get here,” I lie.
“You weren’t here during the shooting?”
“Nope.”
The officer asks me a few questions, then lets me go. Moving into the house, everyone is quiet—too quiet. I see Emery over next to Austyn, both with tears running down their cheeks.
“What’s going on?” Once the words leave my mouth, Emery turns around gasping.
“You’re okay?” she asks, jumping up and coming to me.
“Perfectly fine. Was following the guys, but then lost them. Thought coming back here would be better.” Emery throws her arms around me hugging me tightly, but all I can smell is him. Jacks is all over her, masking her scent.
Seeing him kiss her like that—stake a claim to her in front of everyone—burned my ass. What was worse though, was she didn’t pull away from him, not one bit. She joined in the kiss seemingly getting lost in it.
Jealousy is an ugly pill to swallow, but I guess it’s payback for my asshole moves with Emery. They won’t ever disappear, unfortunately.
She pulls away. “They took Pops. He’s bleeding really bad. Ma and Breaker went with him.” Emery wraps her arms around her body, but steps far enough away from me, I can’t grab her.
“What can I do?”
She shakes her head back and forth. “Nothing. There’s nothing anyone can do.”
It feels like hours we sit in the living room, waiting. My mother has come over to me twice and hugged me while crying. Everyone here has rallied around. Princess and Austyn have taken charge with coffee as they put the beer away for the moment. Some of the younger kids have passed out, and some of the wives haven’t stopped pacing the floor.
They care. Each one of them in their own way has comforted others. Whether it be a hug, pat on the shoulder, or getting them something to drink—they have each other’s backs.
Me, I’m the outsider. Here, but not. Present, but distant.
It’s another bitter pill to swallow. Years away from this have cost me more than I realized. Not only my parents, but this extension of them, all working together for one common goal—to take care of each other.
When I went away to school, I was so damn happy to get the hell out of here. Kissing Sumner goodbye, my life became school, work, and Emery. With her away from the club, I felt more at ease with her—which now that I’ve learned things, was completely stupid in and of itself.
Those sole focuses made my view, already skewed, narrow down to a thin line. The end goal being graduating and getting as far away from Georgia as I could. It was selfish. Everything I’ve done has been selfish.
Nothing has been about other people. Even with Emery, she’s always been a prize—one held at arm’s length because I would never be part of the club, and she would never be apart from them. It’s always been me, me, me.
It burns. And it roars deep. I’m ashamed of my actions. I’m ashamed of what I’ve done. I’m ashamed that these people only tolerate me because I’m a kid of a member. That I never earned my place within them. Not like Austyn or Emery—they’ve stood by each of them and vice versa.
Me, I distanced myself long before I went to college and it only increased after I got there.
They have no ties to me. They have no concern for me—because I haven’t earned my place within them and dammit, now I want to earn it. I want to be part of this. I want them to see me differently which means the ‘I want’ needs to come out of my vocabulary and the focus needs to be on everyone else.
How can I help them? What can I do for them? What role can I take on to be included? My entire mindset needs to change, and it starts today.
Right now in this moment.
It’s time my blood, Ravage blood, comes out and takes its rightful place within me. No more hiding. No more hoping or wishing. No—it’s happening because it’s the only way.
15
Emery
The guys called an hour ago,but we’ve been stuck in this house trying to get the cops and investigators to go away. Unfortunately, with having to take Pops to the emergency room, it put a huge red target on all of us. Questions being asked and no one wants that.
