Page 88 of Needing to Fall
Why did my life have to be so difficult? I had just found my sliver of peace with Lynx, and then another thing dropped in my lap. I was getting tired, really tired of having all of this, but I refused to go down. I wouldn’t go down without fighting for what I wanted and what I needed.
“I want to meet him.”
“Good. We leave tomorrow.”
I had never been on an airplane before and almost walked right out of the airport, but Lynx held my hand, giving me the strength I needed until I was able to dig it up myself. I was still pissed at him for springing this flight on me so suddenly. His let’s-rip-the-band-aid-off scenario still knifed at me. I had thought I would have some time to come to terms with knowing the name of my father, yet the next day, I was flying to meet him.
“It’s going to be fine,” Lynx said next to me. I had made him sit by the window. There was no way I wanted to look that far down from the sky.
I tried breathing to stop the incoming panic attack, but I ended up needing to close my eyes and count. It helped with takeoff, and so far, being in the air was fine. It was like being in a car expect up thousands of feet with the clouds whizzing by.
“I’m still pissed at you.”
“Good, focus on that and breathing.”
I glared at him, and he laughed.
“Babe, he knows we’re coming.”
That got my attention.
“You didn’t tell me this. What happened to always being honest?” I clipped out.
He clutched his fingers together. “I called after you decided you wanted to meet him. He’s skeptical that you’re his daughter, so I had to bring the papers with me.”
“And tell him you had a guy break into his house? You can’t do that. He’ll have you arrested!” The panic overtook me then, the breathing not working. I put my head against the seat in front of me, trying to stop the swirling around me.
“It’s all handled, Reign.”
“How?”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got this.”
I turned to look up into those eyes I loved so very much. He was telling me the truth; he had this. He was taking this on for me and making it easier for me. Dammit, why did he do nice shit when I was pissed at him?
“Fine,” I snapped yet grabbed his hand and held it for the rest of the flight, clenching it as the plane landed and jumped several times.
“I’m surprised you wanted to go on a plane,” I told him after we landed.
“Why’s that?”
“Doesn’t it bring memories back for you?” I shouldn’t have brought it up, but I was curious. I was still learning his triggers. One could show up at any time for either of us.
He rose from his seat, and I followed, grabbing our bags.
“No, I was on the ground, flying doesn’t do it for me.”
After getting our bags and rental car, we drove, following the GPS’s directions.
Seattle was dark, rainy, and dreary. It did nothing to bring on a happy mood. I wasn’t sure I could ever live there, not seeing the sun. The place was almost like I was inside sometimes: cold and void. I was uneasy, although I was certain it had a lot to do with meeting my father for the first time.
Lynx checked us into a hotel. Then we set off to the downtown area where buildings were as tall as the sky. I had never seen buildings so tall before. I felt so small next to them, like I was an ant in this wide world.
Lynx went into an underground area and parked the small car. I felt weird having to stand up to get out of a vehicle instead of Lynx having to help me down.
Once he led me to an elevator and pushed some buttons, my nerves shot out of my body like electrical charges. My body pulsed and my heartbeat was so hard it felt like it was going to push out of my chest. Even though Lynx had my hand, it was sweaty, and I felt hot overall.
Just like with Bailey, I had a myriad of sudden thoughts: What if he doesn’t like me? What if he rejects me? What if he wants nothing to do with me?
