Page 82 of Needing to Fall
He pressed as I tried pulling my hand away from the pain, but he held it firm.
I sucked in deeply and tried again. “Lynx.”
Again, nothing.
Scared wasn’t even the word at that moment. Try petrified that I had lost my man. I had to get him back. It was my turn to help him. He had been my rock since I had met him, so it was my turn to pay him back. The fact that I loved this man made me want it even more. He needed to fall, and it was my turn to be strong and be his shelter.
“Lynx!” This time, I yelled until his emotionless eyes looked at me, but they weren’t really looking at me. They were looking through me, which made the hair on the back of my neck rise. “Lynx, I need you to breathe with me. I’m gonna count.”
He didn’t respond.
I cupped his chin with the hand that wasn’t hurt and pulled him close to me. “Breathe with me,” I ordered. “Now! One” I sucked in deeply, waiting him to mimic me, but he was still lost. “Lynx, I said one!” I yelled right in his face.
He sucked in a breath, but his eyes still weren’t there.
“Two!” I yelled again, and he followed. “Three!”
He did it again.
As I got to ten, I began lowering my voice as the fog he was under began to lift. It was the strangest thing to see him change right before my eyes from not being in the room to being right there with me as he blinked his eyes rapidly.
“Oh, shit.” He shook his head. “I had an attack. I’m so fucking sorry, babe.”
The fear radiating from him took me off guard. Lynx didn’t have fear. He was strong and knowing.
“Did I hurt you?” He was scared he had hurt me; that was where the fear was coming from. Dammit.
“Lynx, I tripped over a toy and fell.”
“And cut yourself.” His attention moved to the towel on my hand that was now covered in blood. “Shit. Fuck. I need more towels, Bay.”
Bailey, with tears falling down her cheeks, immediately got more and put them down next to me.
I felt so bad for her. Lynx hadn’t meant to push her. I hoped she understood that.
Mal came to the door with Braylynn in his arms, but Bailey rushed over and ushered them out of the room.
“I’ll be okay, Lynx,” I tried to reassure him, regardless of the pain coming up my arm and the cut. I wasn’t going to tell him that, though.
“You’re bleeding badly, Reign. You’re going to need stitches if the wound is as big as I think it is, judging from that plate.” He nodded his head to the shards with my blood on them. “You probably have shit in your cut that will need to come out.”
I moved my hand to his cheek, bringing his attention back to me. “I may need stitches, but I’m going to be just fine. People trip and fall all the time. It’s okay, Lynx.”
“It’s not okay. I never want to see you hurt. Ever, Reign. And then I just …” He ran his hand through his hair, pulling away from me, and I dropped my hand. “I’m so damn sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m happy I could help you. That’s what we have, Lynx. You’ve helped me so damn much, and now I got to return it. While I hate that you have to go to that place in your head, if you had to do it, I was glad I was able to help you.”
My heart bled for him. The pain all over his face was laced with embarrassment, something I never wanted him to feel.
“You listen to me, Lynx.” I turned my tone from calming to demanding, catching his attention. “You don’t hide that shit from me, just like I don’t hide that shit from you. We are a team. We fight back the darkness together. You don’t get to take on all my shit and then not expect me to take yours, as well. That is not how this works, Lynx.”
“We need to get you to the hospital,” he interrupted me.
I knew we did, but he wasn’t listening to me, and I wasn’t going anywhere until he did.
“Not until you get it through that skull of yours that we do this together. We build a life together. You think I won’t see more of that same thing? I know I will. You think I won’t have downs and want to stay in bed all day? I will. It is the vicious cycle that plays in our lives, and I refuse to let it win. I won’t allow it to. We deserve better. We deserve our happy, and I’m fighting for it, so I need you to do the same.”
His forehead came to mine as he continued the pressure on my hand. “I love you so damn much. I don’t want this shit to tear us apart. My shit. I’ve gotten better, but it happens sometimes.”
