Page 78 of Needing to Fall
A pang hit me. Drew had never gotten that. I might never get that. I shook it off and continued.
Lynx stopped and tilted up my chin with his index finger so I was staring into the beautiful depths that brought me so much comfort. “You know I love you, more than anything on this fucking planet.” Tears sprang to my eyes. When I didn’t move, he said, “I do, you know. You are the center of my world, and I thank whoever put us together in that fucking hospital. My life wouldn’t have been the same without you.” This time, the tears fell. “I’ve done something.”
My breath hitched as fear ricocheted through all of the love I had just felt.
“Come here.” He pulled me three steps closer to him then turned me around so my back was to his front.
I looked out over all the tombstones, not getting it. “What?” I asked.
“Look down,” he said, and I followed his directive. That was when time stopped, and my knees gave out. If it weren’t for his arm locked around my stomach, I was sure I would have fallen to the ground.
A small stone lay in the grass, newly put in to the ground judging from the dirt around the edges. The nameDrew Lewiswas engraved at the top with the dates of his birth and death. Sobs began to rack my body from the weight of what the man behind me had done for me.
He had given me back something I had thought I would never have again. He had given me back Drew, given me a place to grieve his loss, a place where I could come and talk to him. While my heart broke for Drew, it was then filled with so much love for the man behind me.
I placed my hand over my mouth, trying to get myself under control, but I couldn’t, so I just let the water fall from my eyes in rapid succession.
“I wanted you to have some part of Drew. I know he’s not under the ground, but this is where he’s laid to rest, where you can come and talk if you want to.”
This man had to be the sweetest, most generous man I had ever met in my life. How many men would get a headstone for their love’s first love just so they could come and talk to him? Not many, but my guy had. He cared enough about me to give me that.
I turned in his arms, snuggling into his warmth and hugging him with everything I had while my body shook, and I soaked his shirt. His hand absently rubbed my back up and down, which I loved.
He waited until I looked up at him before he spoke. “I wanted you to never have to forget him.” He lifted his thumb up, swiping the tears from my eyes.
“I love you,” I said softly, and I heard his quick inhalation.
I had never told him that. I had never told any man that, not even Drew when he had been alive. We had run out of time.
As I stared into the eyes I had come to love so deeply, I knew this was exactly where I was supposed to be.
“Love you, too, babe. I’ve been waiting to hear you say those words.”
“I know. I wasn’t ready. This moment right here, you being you, I couldn’t let it go without telling you.”
He leaned down and pecked my lips. “Thank you for that,” he whispered. “I’m gonna give you two a few.”
He started to release me, but I clutched on to his arms. “No, you’re not going anywhere.” His brow quirked up. “I want you to meet him.” I gave him the same line he had given me. “He was my only family, all I had until you and Andi.”
Lynx nodded as I turned in his arms, my eyes focused on the stone.
I blew out a huge breath. “Hey, Drew. I know, I know. Twice.” I shook my head. “I should have talked to you sooner, but I’ve been messed up, Drew. Really messed up. But I’m getting things sorted. This is kinda weird, but I told you about Lynx.”
His hand tightened around me. He must have liked that I had talked to Drew about him.
“This is him. He gave me you back.” At that, the water filled my eyes and spilled over once again. I could never in a million years repay this man for what he had just given me. There was no price tag to put on it. It was irreplaceable.
“I’ll take great care of her,” Lynx said, surprising me.
I craned my neck to see him.
“You’ve got my word, man.” As if I didn’t love this man enough, he had to go and say things like that.
When it looked like Lynx was done, I turned back to Drew.
“I’ll come back and see you. Miss you.”
I would always miss Drew, always. Regardless, I was ready to start my life, a real life with me living it and not just existing. I was ready for a life with Lynx.
