Page 68 of Needing to Fall
Police and emergency vehicles were called to the alley behind the Greenway Gas ‘N Go at eleven forty-three a.m. where they tried to revive him. He was dead at the scene. Cocaine was found next to the body with prints matching those of Mr. Lewis.
“This isn’t true!” I shook the paper at Lynx, not mad at him, just mad.
“Babe, I know.”
“That asshole got away with killing Drew?” It hit me with the impact of a freight train.
I had never looked to see if the Peterson’s had gotten in any trouble. I had never looked to see if they had gone to jail. I had been so closed off I had never taken the time to find any of that information out. That was a sucker punch to the gut, filled with guilt. I should have. Dammit, I should have.
“He did, but he’s dead now.”
“Good!” I barked a little nastily. “The asshole deserved to die!” Then I wondered, “How?”
“Didn’t pay a dealer for his blow.”
“That fucking piece of shit!” I stood, needing to move. I paced and chewed on my nail. “He took him to that alley and put those drugs on him.” I shook my head. “I’m glad he’s dead. I’m not giving him any more of my thoughts.” My thumb hurt, so I moved to my other and chewed. “What about the wife?”
He cleared his throat. “Still alive, but she had a stroke. She can’t move from the chest down and is in a nursing home with around the clock care.”
That information didn’t provide me with any solace. She should have to live with mice shit covering her and only table scraps to eat.
“Babe,” Lynx called.
I froze at his tone and turned to him, my heart racing.
“They can’t hurt you ever again.”
He was right. Needing to calm down, I started breathing and counting.Inhale … one. Exhale … two.
By number thirteen, I had myself together and came over to sit with Lynx. Then he gave me the death blow.
“According to the reports, the Peterson’s cremated Drew’s body, and there was a small ceremony at that time. I looked into the laws, and the Peterson’s weren’t required to have a formal burial. And since they cremated him, there is no record after they received the ashes. If I had to guess, the Peterson’s just took the money given to them by the state for themselves. There is no record that indicates he has a place.”
The way he had said the “has a place” part was a little creepy, but I got what he was telling me. There was no final resting spot for Drew. It was like he had never existed on the planet, like he had never belonged, was never with me. I was the only one left who remembered him and would be for all the years to come.
My eyes burned as tears sprang up. My chest ached for Drew, for the man he would never be, for the family he had never known. Crying quickly turned into sobs as I gripped on to Lynx. I needed his strength at that moment. I needed him to be able to hold me because my confidence was being crushed. Lynx being Lynx, he did. Even feeling so saddened about Drew, so hollow, Lynx filled me, allowing me to fall apart. I knew he would be there to catch me.
“Oh, my God.” Andi pulled me into her arms and hugged me with everything she had. I reciprocated, feeling the love this woman had for me. I hoped she could feel mine, too.
I had just finished telling her all the sordid details that Lynx had shared with me the day before. At first, I didn’t know if I was going to tell her or not, but deep down, I knew I needed to. Andi had been my sunshine for so long, still was, and I couldn’t begrudge her the information. Also, it felt good talking to someone other than Lynx about it. Lynx was great—don’t get me wrong—but sometimes, talking to your best friend was needed.
“I hurt for him,” I told her shoulder as she pulled away, eyeing me carefully, no doubt looking to see if I was going under again. I couldn’t blame her. There was always that possibility. However, I felt more confidence in myself that I could take the information and deal as best I could.
She said softly, “I know. It’s written all over your face.”
I gave her a soft smirk. She knew me, just like Lynx. I liked that a lot.
“I feel like there wasn’t any justice for Drew, and it eats me up that no one except me will remember him.”
Andi pulled me to the couch in her apartment, sitting next to me so we were facing each other.
“His brother knows nothing about him. I think I should tell him about Drew, but then I thinkwhy do thatwhen it would cause Devin pain?What kind of person would I be to go into his life and disrupt it like that?”
“Oh, honey.” As she gripped both my hands, I could feel her comfort and love deep in my soul. “What does Lynx think about that?”
Shock hit me momentarily at her question. She hadn’t asked much about Lynx, and I had never pushed for fear of hurting her or her feelings for me. I knew they were there, and I held them with white gloves. She meant too much for me to let her down.
“He says it’s my decision.” At that, I smiled and shrugged. “He said that if I wanted to tell Devin, he’d go with me, but if I wanted to keep it to myself, that was my choice. Part of me feels like I should tell him about his brother and what an amazing guy he was, but then the other part says just keep it locked down so the loop of hurt stops with me.”
