Page 3 of Needing to Fall
I ripped my hand away from hers, making the smile that was on her face disappear. It felt like a kick to the gut. I wanted to feel bad for doing that to her, making her feel like that, but I couldn’t breathe as the panic took over and my throat closed, suffocating me. I inhaled, but nothing was getting in my lungs. I was choking … on air. Then I was coughing on it violently.
I gripped my throat, and Andi came near me, reaching out to me to help, but I shook my head profusely and scooted back into the booth as far as I could, needing space.
“Reign, it’s okay,” she cooed like I was a small child, and in that moment, I was. “I won’t touch you. I’m gonna move back over to the other bench, but you’re gonna have to breathe for me.”
I nodded as she moved out of my space, her frightened eyes never leaving mine for a second.
I watched as the two lone patrons in the diner looked at me like I had every screw loose in my head. Little did they know they were right. I did, and those screws were all I had left.
I sat on the cushy vinyl and closed my eyes then took three huge breaths. This time, the air went in, and my body began to relax. When I opened my eyes again, Andi was staring at me like she didn’t know what to do with me. Hell, I didn’t know what to do with myself, but Andi was so damn patient, not pushing when she knew I couldn’t be pushed.
“You okay?” she asked, and I nodded. “You need anything?” This time, I shook my head. “Girl, you scared the shit out of me.” She heaved out a big breath, and I knew in that moment that Andi was a keeper.
Her touching me took months and months for me to allow. Andi suffered through many of my freak-outs and didn’t let the fact that I acted like I was burned with acid every time she touched me bother her. She was so damn patient. She kept at me until I felt comfortable enough for her to even embrace me, which I did eventually.
“Reign, you can’t keep living on no sleep.” I wanted to laugh, but she continued. “You’re young, and you were dealt a shit deal to start your life, but you’re free now. You’re free to live the life that you were intended to have.”
Flashbacks of Drew hit me like a heavy weight, pulling me down like cinderblocks tied to my ankles in the ocean, drowning. I would never be free to do anything.
“If they catch us, we are in serious shit,” I warned Drew as he pulled my hand through the door and out the back of the school. If our foster parents found out we didn’t go straight home, I was afraid of what they would do to us.
“Mr. and Mrs. Peterson have an appointment at four. They won’t be back until at least five or five thirty, so we have time,” Drew tried reassuring me, but I couldn’t help the fear that crushed me.
I didn’t want them to be angry at us. I didn’t want to suffer the consequences. Mrs. Peterson was good with her fists, but not as good as my biological father was. Mr. Peterson took his anger out on an entirely different level, and I wanted neither.
Still, I followed Drew. I would follow him to the end of the earth as long as he was there by my side. After knowing him for two years, he was my best friend, my only friend, my everything. He was the only thing that mattered.
He led me through the bright green grass, which was the color of his eyes, and out passed the football field, gripping my hand the entire time. I loved the small tingle just from his touch on my skin. He led me to a secluded area behind the far part of the field where he pulled me under a large tree then stopped and turned to me. His body was so close to mine I felt his heat on my chest.
That feeling in the pit of my stomach began as I lifted my hands to his chest and looked up into his eyes. They were telling me something, but my mind was so foggy from being this near to him that I couldn’t think.
One of his arms drifted around my back, tugging me closer to him. The other came up and cupped the side of my face. The gesture was so tender I had to fight back the tears threatening to spill out.
“Reign, I’m getting you out of here. I know we planned on waiting until we were eighteen, but I’m getting you out of that house.”
My stomach fell. I didn’t want him to know what was going on at night in that house. He couldn’t know, could he? I never knew for sure, because he never said, and I wasn’t about to ask.
“We don’t have anywhere to go,” I told him, something we already knew. Between that and the fact that the authorities would come looking for us, we had to stay in their house. Together.
How damn lucky was I that Drew and I had gotten into the same foster home and met? I felt like the heavens were finally listening to me and helping me, that someone up there gave even the slightest shit to put us together.
“I’m figuring it out. Six months, Reign. We’re out of here in six months. Sooner if I can pull it off.”
My eyes widened, panic clenching my heart. “What are you doing?”
“What I have to in order to get us both to safety,” he told me, but before he could say any more, his lips came down on mine. Although it wasn’t the first time he had kissed me, it was still so new I gave in to it completely, letting my mind and body only focus on Drew.
“Reign!”
My name being screamed snapped me out of my thoughts. I blinked away the memories and focused on Andi, who was mere inches from my face, her eyes gleaming with sorrow. I hated when she got that look for me. I didn’t need anyone feeling sorry for me. Ever.
“Thank God,” she whispered, pulling back and giving me space.
I scoffed. “You know I don’t believe in that.” I didn’t. How could I when He took away the only thing that was ever good in my life? How could I when whatever was up there didn’t take two minutes to protect me in my entire life? How could I when my life was something I didn’t want to live in? How could I when the sliver of hope He gave me in Drew was ground into dust and blown into the breeze?
Her hands tightened on mine. “Have you ever thought of going to his grave and telling him good-bye?”
I ripped my hands out of her grasp and pulled as far away from her on the couch as I could. If I could have made my legs work, I would have certainly gotten up and run as far away from her as I could. However, seeing as my legs were nothing but noodles, I simply sat there, staring at her, dumbfounded, my breath taking a vacation from my lungs.
