Page 32 of Needing to Fall
I had to move forward, but how did I do that when Drew was out there, alive? That was a huge hurdle I didn’t know how to overcome, but at least I was now thinking about how to do so. Although it was a tiny step, it was something.
“Time’s up,” the doctor said, causing all thoughts to slip away.
This was it. Lynx was leaving, and I had this small ball inside of me where my hope started to burn just a bit—the hope that he would follow through on what he had said and help me outside of here.
I knew I shouldn’t have any of the H-word. It had never helped and had always let me down. I thought Lynx was different, though. I wanted to believe he was.
“I’m out of here.” Lynx’s grin widened into a full-fledged smile, and I sucked in a breath. It was beautiful, totally transforming his rock hard, stern face into something women would swoon over. And I hated to admit it, but I was included in that.Holy shit.
My stomach had these little flutters, and my throat felt like it was going to close up.
When Lynx rose from the chair and moved toward me, I had to bend my neck way back to see him.
“Up,” he demanded sternly but not harshly.
I complied, taking a step back to give myself some space between us.
Funny how when I first saw him, I wanted to run and hide. I didn’t want to be in the same room with him for fear he would hurt me. Now, sadness was racking me down to my core that this could be the last time I would ever see this man who, in his own way, had helped me so much.
He took a step closer, and my breathing became labored. He was too close, but something inside me wouldn’t allow me to move back any farther. I wasn’t sure how or when this had happened, when I had become so trusting of this man that I was able to stand my ground and not move into my own personal space when he was so close. I wondered if that meant I was getting a little better, but I didn’t want to have the H-word. Therefore, I stared into his eyes, transfixed, instead.
“I’ll come to you when you get out,” he said.
I had tonight and tomorrow night in here, which felt like an eternity. It was a lifetime before I would find out if Lynx was the guy I thought he was or a disappointment like all the rest.
“I didn’t tell you where I’m going to live.”
He gave me a half-grin and raised his hand toward me. I flinched out of habit, but I didn’t move as his hand came up and cupped the side of my cheek. His warmth caused my pulse to spike so hard I heard the thunder of my heart in my ears and breaths were becoming hard to find. I was letting this man touch me, and all I was doing was clenching and unclenching my hands, not saying anything. On top of that, I actually liked the feeling of his hand on me.
“Reign,” he whispered until my focus was back on him. “I’ll find you. We’ll get this worked out together.”
My chest squeezed unnaturally. I didn’t know how, but I leaned into his hand, taking the warmth he was giving me. If this was the last time I would see him, I was going to enjoy this sliver of feeling.
“Bye, Lynx,” I whispered softly.
I had been let down more times than not in my life, and he didn’t know for sure what would be waiting for him outside these doors. Hell, his woman could come crawling back, and then I would just be a small blip on his radar of that one-time-when-I-was-in-the-hospital. I wanted to hold on to his words, keep them, and lock them away someplace, so I did.
His thumb lifted my chin, making sure he had my full attention. His eyes glistened as he spoke. “Not bye, Reign.” He studied me closely. “You think I’m full of shit.” I didn’t think those exact words, but how the hell did this man know what was floating in my brain? “I see I have a lot of work ahead of me.” His intensity bore into mine. “I love a good challenge.” His hand slipped behind my neck, and before I could do anything, he face-planted me into his chest.
I froze, unable to move, my body feeling as stiff as a board, my arms straight at my sides. Lynx’s arms wrapped around my back, and I did nothing, including breathe. When I did start to breathe again, I sucked in deeply, and damn did he smell good, but I didn’t melt into him. No, I couldn’t. I had only had this with Andi; that was it. No one else.
I full-out gasped when he kissed the top of my head, his arms giving me one last squeeze before releasing me. I took a hasty step back, unsure what to think or do. I was out of sorts in more ways than one because not only had I let this man touch me, but I had liked it. I might not have shown him I had, but terrifyingly, I really had.
“I see we need to work on that, too.” He chuckled with all the patience of a saint. He and Andi would get along well.
“Why?” I whispered.
“Pardon?”
“Why? Why waste your time helping me? Why be this way with me?” I was terrified of the answer. No one in my life, besides Andi, took time to help me. Everyone let me down.
“I’ll answer that when we’re out of here.”
“Time to go,” his nurse said, entering the room, and Lynx started walking toward her. I couldn’t blame him. If they said those words to me, I would hightail it the hell out of here, too.
He did turn around to me, though, and said, “A couple of days.” He winked before the door shut behind him.
For the first time, I cried that night for a man who wasn’t Drew.
