Page 16 of Needing to Fall
“You both have PTSD.”
The doctor went over post-traumatic stress disorder, over and over when he didn’t have to. I was fucked in the head, not stupid. Basically, the shit of my life gave me stress that my brain couldn’t handle, and my actions were a result of that. See? Simple explanation, not that long, drawn-out bullshit I heard him drone on about for days. He also went over depression and anxiety with me. I admitted they fit.
Even if Lynx had PTSD, there was no way in hell he had the same kind as me. From his demeanor, stance, and the fact that power radiated off him like sun waves beaming, no one messed with this man. No one. He couldn’t possibly have anything in his head like I did.
“So?” Lynx asked while I sat there, dumbfounded, my brain needing to catch up and get its shit together. I had checked out for so long it was more difficult than I hoped.
Doc pointed to me. “So, we’re all going to sit and try to have a conversation.”
I said nothing.
“I think you two are a good fit.”
“No,” I whispered, pulling my legs into my body and wrapping my arms around them.
As my body began to tremble, I yelled at it to stop, but I had zero control over it.
Lynx could overpower me in a heartbeat. I had no weapon to protect me from what he could do to me. Mr. Baldman and Nurse Creep wouldn’t be able to fend off this man. Andi took my gun, which would have been the only way I could survive anything with this man. No.
“No,” I said a little louder. “I can’t.”
I felt Lynx’s eyes on me, the impenetrable stare looking down on me like I was a freak. No. No.No!
Please make this stop. Please make this stop,I kept chanting over and over as the grip on my legs got tighter and tighter.
Boot steps began and stopped as a large, resounding sigh came from Lynx. I looked up through my eyelashes to see his gaze on me. He sat in the chair next to the desk, facing me, his arms still crossed, but now his long legs were, too, at the ankle.
“Shit, I ain’t gonna hurt ya,” he said as I looked at his face.
The coldness was still there, but there was something in his eyes that was a tad bit lighter. I didn’t believe him, though. I definitely didn’t trust him. No way. Not going to happen. Never.
I said nothing, just burrowed in a tighter ball.
“Lynx, this is Reign. Reign, Lynx,” the doctor introduced.
I raised my head, not looking at the man in the chair, but something sparked in me that I needed to keep alert. I hadn’t been alert in more days than I realized, yet something inside my head clicked, and I took in everything right down to the pencil the doctor had in his fingertips, wiggling back and forth, hitting the desk every so often. I also took in Lynx’s breathing. It was calm and steady. No anger, just resolve. I still said nothing.
“Lynx, you start. Tell Reign about yourself.” What he said surprised me. Why would this man want to tell a stranger anything about what was going on in his head? It wasn’t like I went around shouting to the rooftops about all my issues to everyone. I kept that locked up tight, and I wanted to keep it that way.
“You’ve got to be shittin’ me,” Lynx responded, the pissed-off attitude not lessening a bit. “I’m not talking about shit in front of someone I don’t fucking know. Are you out of your mind?”
A small part of me, back in the recesses behind all the pain, fear, and anger, wanted to actually chuckle. That realization slapped me in the face, and I locked it down, giving my head a slight shake.
Wrestler McMann answered, “I think it would be good for you to talk about your experiences with Reign.”
“Don’t tell me she’s been to war, because I know you’ll be flat-out lyin’.”
War? Oh, shit, he was a guy from the military. There was no way his issues had anything to do with mine.
“If I told this scared, little rabbit all the shit I’ve seen, she’d be crying in her Wheaties,” he mocked, causing a fire to blaze in my stomach, one I thought had burned out, never to be lit again. I didn’t know where it came from, and I sure as hell didn’t know why, but it was nice and toasty warm. And I clung to it.
I sucked in deeply, and my lip curled. How fucking dare he? How. Dare. He?
“Fuck you, asshole,” I clipped as Lynx turned to me in surprise. I didn’t think that was possible, but whatever. The doc turned to me, too, but I didn’t pay him any attention. “You have no fucking idea. Don’t sit there on your holier than thou throne and do the I-can’t-say-shit-because-of-her-feeble-mind bullshit. You can stick that up your ass right now.”
Lynx’s eye twitched. It was the first bit of actual expression I had seen, but as soon as it was there, it left.
“All right, little girl,” he started condescendingly, only spiking the heat inside me. “Where do you want me to start? Where everyone in my battalion was killed in an ambush but me, or when I held my best friend’s body in my arms with his head hanging on by only his spine?”
