Page 6 of Needing to Fall
I straightened my shoulders, chastising myself. Andi was so right; I needed to pull my shit together. I sucked in deeply and opened the door.
“Hey, what’s going on?” I greeted as if him being in my personal space was no big deal at all when, in fact, I wanted him gone in that instant.
“We need to talk,” he said, not waiting for an invite. He just breezed on by me like I wasn’t there.
The space inside my safety net felt tight and claustrophobic.
“Come on in,” I grumbled, shutting the door and locking it. If he were going to hurt me, locking the door meant nothing. Still, it was a habit, and who knew who lurked outside?
He turned abruptly. “He’s not dead.”
The vast void below me opened up and sucked me into its abyss at his words. I felt as if I were floating down to the gates of Hell, burning as I went.
“What?” was the only word I could muster as the dredge of emotions spiraling out of control pulled me under.
“Andrew Lewis; twenty-one; foster care, the same time as you. Records link him to a Mr. and Mrs. Peterson, but they were sealed. He was shot five years ago, stitched up, and thrown back into foster care, but he went into a group home for boys. He was banged up pretty good, so it was more of an in-house hospital. Got out at eighteen, had odd jobs, and landed a good one at a business firm. He worked his way up from the bottom and owns his own house in Newport about five hours from here.”
I reached around, trying to find something to sit on. I was sure my legs were going to give out on me at any moment. The wobble they kept doing was sure to have me plummeting to my ass.
I sat in the hard chair, almost missing it, and scrambled to right myself. I held on to its base for some sort of balance, my world shifting on its axis. I wasn’t sure what to make of that.
Trey held out a paper to me, and I stared at it like it was a poisonous snake that would kill me with one bite. I didn’t want it. There was no way Drew was alive and never came to find me. No way. I couldn’t believe it.
Trey shook the paper in front of my face, making that annoying noise. Somehow, I grabbed it and clenched it in my hand, but I didn’t look at it. I didn’t want to know what was written on it.
It just couldn’t be.
“You’re sure?” It had to be a sick joke.
“Reign, I’m good at what I do. It’s true.”
My hands shook uncontrollably, and my body soon followed. Trey took a step toward me.
“Stop. Don’t,” I barked out. I couldn’t handle his touch right now. Normally, I couldn’t take it. Right now, I really, really couldn’t. All of this was too damn much.
I ran with everything I had to the kitchen counter and searched for my phone, typing as I clumsily held it, almost dropping it several times.
Come here now,I typed, sending it to Andi.
I needed her like I needed air. I needed a light in the dark. I needed someone to grab on to, something to hold that was real because this … This just couldn’t be real.
“Go,” I told him.
While he could call in whatever favor I had to do for him, he must have seen the look on my face or taken in my body language, because he got the hell out of there. He didn’t stick around a second longer.
I raced to the door, locking it just as a rushed knock came.
I checked and swung the door open to a wide-eyed Andi. I pulled her into my arms, initiating a hug from her for the first time ever. I needed her. I needed her to be my rock since I couldn’t be it for myself at that moment. I needed her strength because I was falling.
I heard the door close and then lock. Then Andi’s arms wrapped around me as she walked us over to the couch where we sat still in each other’s arms. She just held me, waiting until I was ready to talk. It took a while until I could, but Andi, as ever, didn’t push me. She simply waited with the patience of a saint.
“He’s alive.” The words were completely disheveled as they came from deep in my throat.
“Who’s alive?” she asked.
I didn’t tell her I was having Drew checked out, because I didn’t know if I would go through with going to see him. Having Andi disappointed in me wasn’t something I liked, so I wanted to avoid it at all costs. I also didn’t want to be pushed.
“Drew.”
