Page 20 of Needing to Fall
I didn’t understand why he was so pissed at him. The doctor was the one who forced us together.
“I’m afraid I can’t—” he continued, but was cut off.
“I’m a witness, and so is he.” Lynx nodded his head to big, brute man at the door. “Legally, you have to.” He never lost eye contact with me.
The doctor threw his pencil on the desk and ran his fingers through his not-so-there hair, clearly pissed off.
I turned to Lynx who, for some reason, had a small smirk on his face, like he was happy to piss the guy off.
The doctor huffed, “Fine. You have to prove it to me, though.”
I had no idea how I was going to do that, but I would give it a shot. It was my only way out.
“The session just got extended.”
Lynx groaned, and I sat back in my chair.
“Tell us about your childhood,” the doc ordered, down to business now.
A tight knot formed in the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t do this. Could I? I had to, so I guess I could.
I tucked my feet under my ass and my lips began. “My parents hated me from the moment I was born and let me know it at every turn. I was taken away from them because, apparently, I needed my arms and legs broken at the same time for the authorities to step in. I went into foster care. It was its own kind of hell.” I blabbed on for what felt like forever, telling them everything that happened to me during those years. Bottom line, it was shit and hurt like hell to dredge up, but I did it.
“You’re probably thinking,why didn’t she tell anyone, right?” I didn’t wait for either of their responses, just kept going. “I did: my court-appointed liaison through the foster system. I learned quickly that telling her anything was a horrible idea. Not only did she tell my foster parents what I said, she gavesuggestionsof my punishments for talking. I never spoke of it again.”
I looked up at the ceiling at one point and could see a small speck of light flashing above me. I didn’t want to think that it was hope, but I wanted out of here, and if talking was what I had to do, so be it.
The past assaulted me as a recording of my life played before me. The feeling of being nothing, no one to anyone, kicked me in the gut, but I didn’t have a choice. I needed to get out.
“That’s when I met Drew,” I continued.
The doctor cut in, “And that is the perfect place to stop.”
I closed my lips. I was on such a roll the time had fizzled before my eyes. I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but something inside me felt a little lighter getting it out, even if it was in front of two strangers.
“Why did your parents hate you so much?” Lynx asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I stared at him, thinking, trying to remember. For some reason, it didn’t stick out in my head. I had never really thought of it.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly.
“You never went and found out?” he asked, carrying on.
“No. Why in the hell would I want to hunt down two people who already hated me, who hurt me? No, thank you.”
“Your perception of things may be skewed.” He placed his elbows on his knees and leaned forward, eyeing me with an intensity that filled the room. “Because knowledge is power.”
“That’s all we have time for,” the doctor said abruptly, standing from his seat.
That night, those four little words rolled, trotted, and burned into my brain.Because knowledge is power.Power was something I had never had in my life.
***
The door opened, and Nurse Hatchet came in with a bright smile on her face, reminding me instantly of Andi. I wanted to be mad at her and I was, but I also missed her … desperately.
“Seems you’re on the fast track to getting out of here.”
I felt myself smile inside at that small thought. I could get out. There was an end to this. I just needed to tell the doctor what he wanted, and I could be done with all of this.
