Page 7 of Bound by Affliction
Knowing any moment that blade will slice inside my body is torture in and of itself. I know it’s coming and even when I wish for it not to, it doesn’t matter because it slams into my flesh. The stabbing pain turns into blazing fire when the blade is twisted. I have no control. The cries from my lips don’t sound like my own, instead of those from a feral animal ready to meet its maker. I try to stifle the sounds, but the more pain I endure the less I feel like a part of myself. I’m here, but I’m not. It’s a strange experience. I want to stay quiet, but the wails fall out of my mouth in hysterics that soundmortifying.
My head is all jumbled up like it can’t decide which part of me hurts worse or what part of me is still okay. It’s as if parts are beginning to shut down to save me from the pain, but it’s not working. Just when I think it will numb out, something tingles and brings the sensations full force back throughme.
Time has stood still because I have no recollection of it. All hope is dwindling. I’ve lost itall.
No hope that this will beover.
No hope I’ll be able to walk out of here, alive and in onepiece.
No hope for anything at thispoint.
That’s a whole other level offear.
The part where I know I'm going to die, leave my loved ones behind to grieve myloss.
Never see themagain.
Never feel their arms around mybody.
Never have a family of my own or meettheone.
Never get to live the life I’ve been so preciously given. My time is being stolen, and I’d give anything for five more minutes with my parents and my best friend to say bye; to let them know how much they mean tome.
Regrettably, this here is my last memory. These men touching me. Hurting me. Violating me and my body in ways I don’t wish on an enemy, not that I have any. Or at least, I didn’t until these men entered mylife.
What’s worst of all is I led them to Bristyl and myself. Me and my online escapades trying to findMr. Right. Well, the man I thought I met, Nick, is only one of the men I want to see gutted and rotting six feet under, where I’ll soonbe.
Death is imminent. They haven’t hidden their plans for me to die. I’m only alive until they get Bristyl. Then, they want to enjoy making her watch medie.
All too soon and not soon enough at the same time. All my hopes, dreams, and wishes are vanishing, knowing my time is coming to an end. To be free of this pain, this torture, I’ll let it all go.Everything.
If I had any ability to move, or the strength, I’d love to be the one to take Len,one of the assholes, out and give him the karma he so desperately deserves. What all three of these men deserve. Really, they aren’t men. They are cowards, fools, and disgraces. Yet, I’m going to die and they will live; it’s a bitter pill toswallow.
Men, real men, are like Bristyl’s man, Cooper. He’s tough as nails, doesn’t take any shit from anyone, and has a damn good heart. One so big he’s going to give my girl the world, and that’s what she deserves. I almost smile at the thought. She’s going to have everything at her feet by a man who is a real man, who loves her with everything he has inside of him. They haven’t been together long, but she talks about him like he’s God and will change everything. She deserves her happily everafter.
Her brothers and father have guarded her for so long, this is her chance at a life built herway.
Tears spill over my chapped cheeks, but it’s nothing new, including the shriveling of my heart. Len hasn’t stopped since I woke up on this bed, knowing each revolting touch, my time coming to an end, scaring me more and more. Death shouldn’t come to someone so young. Let alone, no one should have to feelthis.
Each time the blade sinks into my flesh, I’m one step closer to death and the angels that will take the agony away. At some point two of the men, Nick and Poe, left me completely alone with Len. I’m at his mercy, and he has none. I’d hoped Len would go too, but I wasn’t that lucky. No, I have zero luck in this situation. Sad thing is, even with two of the men gone, I can still feel the phantom pangs of their nasty hands touching and fondling me. It’s something I’ll have to take to the grave with me. Every revolting second of it will be with me to theend.
Yes, this is an all out different kind of fear. It’s not the ‘fear of getting on a plane’ or ‘fear my car will run out of gas.’ No, this is life changing no going back, what’s done is donefear.
Scarred.
Battered.
Beyondsaving.
And I want it to be over. Done. The knife he shows me with a sinister glint in his eye, I want to plunge it into my heart and stopeverything.
Stop thepain.
Stop thehands.
Stop thethoughts.
Stop thetears.
