Page 53 of Bound by Affliction
“Right.” Inod.
“Also, you have to always be conscious of everything around you. Not in a paranoid way, but in a logical way so you know what to expect. Anticipation of someone’smoves.”
We do move two more times where I fail miserably. I need to show myself that I can do this. I can. I refuse to have anyone take advantage of meagain.
Sweat glistens off of me. It’s not smart to wear long sleeves and pants while working with her, but I’m not ready to show my body. I don’t know if I ever will be. “One more. I want to getout.”
“Alright. Just keep your focus. You know I’m comin’, so you’re already part of the way there. You just don’t know how I’m coming, and you need to anticipate it. No hesitating. Play out the scenarios in your head. What would you do if… Fill that in and give yourself a plan of somesorts.”
All of her information is overwhelming, but I soak it allin.
“Gotit.”
“Let’s dothis.”
I turn my back to her and start going through possible scenarios in my mind, playing the what-if game to prepare myself. Arms wrap around me, this time over my arms, holding them down. Her grip is tighter than before making me realize she was probably a little soft on me before. One day, when I get stronger, I’ll make her do full bore because I can still feel thisisn’t.
With only my feet mobile, I know she’s going to be expecting a foot pound or a shot to the leg. Instead, I lift my elbows fast. She’s still very strong, but I get maybe an inch enough to turn around and lift my knee to her crotch and reach for her eyes; not that I actually make contact because I know this woman could put me six feetunder.
Princess smiles. “Nice job. I like the reversal. Not doing what the first thing most would do and finding a different route. From now on, you and me an hour a dayminimum.”
“Thanks.” Pride fills me, something I thought was long, long gone. It’s that sliver of self-confidence that is growing in my soul. Last night giving Green all of me. Today, learning different ways to protect myself. Happiness is what I feel, and I’ve missed it. It’s a ray of sunshine tearing through the darkclouds.
I can do this. I will do this. I must do this so I can liveagain.
* * *
“Do you know where they went?”I ask Bristyl at lunch with Princess that afternoon. Turkey sandwiches and chips hit the spot after a long workout with Princess. We sit outside on the picnic table that is in the courtyard of the club. There’s a huge playground area for kids, but I haven’t seen any aroundyet.
Bristyl and Princess exchange a look, and I’m thinking I asked the wrongquestion.
“Have you ever seen Fight Club?” Bristyl asks, wiping her mouth with hernapkin.
“Yes.”
She chuckles. “So the first rule of fight club is you don’t talk about fight club. Think about that in this situation. The guys don’t tell us, and we roll withit.”
“Really?”
Bristyl leans in. “Remember when Stone and Dad had the outing, and you came over and stayed withme?”
“Yeah, we had all that junk food and watched movies until we couldn’t hold our eyes open.” Remembering takes me to a very happy place when there were no worries. When we were just kids hanging out and enjoying life. Strange how thingschange.
Bristyl smiles big. “Them leaving was club business. I didn’t ask, and they didn’t tell. That’s how it works, and I’m fine with that. It’s not like your man is out screwing another woman or anything like that. Whatever they’re doing is for the club—ourfamily.”
“So, it extends out tous?”
Princess takes a sip of her soda. “Sometimes. Sometimes not. You just gotta be okay with your man doing what he has to do. He’s not gonna lay in bed with you at night and tell you everything that he’s done that day when it comes to the club. It’slife.”
“And you guys just trust yourmen?”
They both nod, but it’s Princess who speaks. “Yep. If you can’t hack that, this life isn’t foryou.”
Thinking about Green going on in his life without me is like an electric eel wrapping around my heart and shocking it until I can’t stand or move. No way am I cool withthat.
Immediately, “I can hackit.”
Bristyl rubs my arm. “Take it one day at a time. The longer you’re here the longer you have to get familiar with the idea. And I’ll be here every step of the way if you have anyquestions.”
