Page 28 of Bound by Affliction
“No,” he says softly. “I carried you out of that room, and you kept losing consciousness. When the EMT gotthere…”
“Stop!” I yell with everything I have in me, but he doesn’tlisten.
“I had to hold gauze to some of your wounds to staunch the bleeding. I could feel your blood on my fingers, and I could do nothing to stopit.”
My mind snaps and waves of something flow through my veins. Instead of pacing, I charge Green and shove my hands into his chest hard. “You don’t think I know what they did tome!”
I hit him again, but he doesn’t move or fightback.
“I was there. Every damn second, only getting the slightest reprieve when the darkness filled my head.” I hit him again, but he doesn’t budge. “And you want me to talk about it! You’ve lost yourmind!”
An emotion I haven’t felt in a while spins its web, boiling my blood, staggering my breaths and my fingers twitch. Anger. No, rage like no other fills me, clawing out of my body and pursing itself in the air aroundus.
“Tell me!” Green fires back at me still allowing me to hit him, but I don’t care. I don’t care about anything, all I see is red. Fire-breathing dragonred.
“What do you want to hear? How they attacked me in the kitchen of the place where I was supposed to feel safe. That they thought it was fun to punch me and hear my cries. How they dragged me up the stairs by my hair and feet, hitting my back with every step. How they wrapped rope around my wrists and ankles so tight I barely felt them after a while. Do you want to know that they took turns stabbing me with the blade over and over again until my crying became too much, and they’d punch me in the jaw to get me to shut up. Oh, but that’s notall.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I step far away from Green. “The best part is when they ripped my hair from my skull so I’d bring Bristyl to him.” Then my flame-breathing self looks Green directly in the eye. “And you idiots let her comealone!!!”
Releasing my arms, I clench and unclench my fingers not knowing exactly what to do with them at the moment. I should go back over there and hit him some more, but Idon’t.
“You’re right. She shoulda never been therealone.”
My brows pinch as I burst, “Ya think! That’s all those assholes wanted was Bristyl! And I got stuck as the runner-up, lucky me!” My screams can probably be heard down the street, but I don’t care one little bit. No one came when I was tied up, hurt, and screaming. No one would come noweither.
Green walks into my path forcing me to have to look up at him. “What they did to you was reprehensible,Leah.”
“Why do I note abutinthere.”
Green smiles, full out, and I’m tempted to smack it off hisface.
“But…” he drawls out like it’ll help his cause. He gently grasps my arms and pulls me to him. “You’re alive, Leah. You lived. Those fuckersdidn’t.”
Alive. Yeah, right. This isn’t alive. This isn’t living. This is a perpetual hell I can’t seem to escape, swirling me down deeper and deeper. I feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole, turning and twisting hitting my head all the way down, only to realize there is no bottom. It just keeps going on forever and forever. I’m freefalling. And I hateit.
“It happened to me!” I point to my chest. “Me. Not you, so I don’t need to hear your shit, nor do I want to. You have no idea what I’m goingthrough!”
“I do, more than you know.” He looks down to the ground and back up. “You wanna get pissed and hit me, go for it. You wanna throw shit, I’ll pick it up. You wanna scream and yell, I’ll take it, but you’re gettin’ this shit out of ya one way oranother.”
He’s too damn calm, and it’s pissing me off. “Why are you so calm? Knock it off!” I’m not sure what I want from him, but calm isn’t it. It’s irritating and annoying—hell, those mean the same thing. Breaking away I move, but he doesn’t let me get far. The thoughts bombard me, but the anger is in the forefront, and anger I can deal with. The other shit, not somuch.
“How did youfeel?”
“Are you serious right now? You’re asking me how I feel! I just told you what happened!” I stand at the door pressing my hands to it, looking at the floor, my breathing ragged. I flip to him. “Dirty! That make you happy? I’m dirty, disgusting, and nothing will ever get it off of my skin, and I’m not talking about the hundreds of scars on my body. It would have been better if they just killed me and got it overwith!”
He comes to me trying to wrap me in his arms, but I scoot away getting a foot from him. “I want you to leave. Now.” It’s a demand and not a weak one likebefore.
“No.” God, I hate his calm. When we used to write letters, it was the one thing I could count on with him. The fact that he could turn any hesitations I had and flip them around, finding the positive or the solace I didn’t see there. Now, it just pisses meoff.
The twig breaks in me, and my hands go flying and connect with Green’s chest. My screams come out so hoarse I’m not sure that they’re mine, but everything comes pouring out of me—the rage, hurt, desperation, fear, horror… all of it comes out, bleeding through my poors. Nothing is coherent, and my mind is so jumbled even I don’t know what I’m thinking. All I know is this feels. Like what, I’m not sure–but iffeels.
After exhausting myself after long minutes, I make a step back, my breaths coming so hot and heavy I could pass out. That’s when the tears hit, but I hold on to that anger with every fiber inside of myself because I need time away from him. Time to burrow down deeper and escape. “Out or I’m calling the police and my parents to have youremoved.”
“I’m not going.” Damnhim.
“Leave!” I scream, but it’s out of pain. I feel myself falling to my knees hard on the floor as sobs rake my body, one after the other, and I ignore the sharp pain up mythighs.
How does life go on after something likethis?
