Page 25 of Bound by Affliction
Leah makes her way into the kitchen and pours a glass of water out of the tap, all the while not saying a word and barely making eye contact with me. She glides into the living room, sitting on the couch and putting her legs underneath her. Then she does the thing I hate most, she stares off in space like she’s not in the room with me, the same thing she did in the hospital. Like I’m some fucking figment of her imagination and don’t exist. Well, baby, I doexist.
Rising, I move to the couch and watch as her body tenses when I sit down at the other end. She never once flinched at my proximity before; it’s another thing those assholes took fromher.
“What are you hungry for?” I ask, setting my mug down on the side table. She gives me a noncommittal shrug; hell, at least she’s listening to me. “Alright, frog legs it is.” Her head shoots to me and in the briefest of seconds I see her spark. Fuck if it doesn’t make me one happy as hellsonofabitch.
It dims too quickly as her shoulders slump. “I don’t think I have anything here.” And what she doesn’t say is there’s no way she’s leaving, and I don’t blame her onebit.
“I’ll order somethin’. Have itdelivered.”
She shrugsagain.
“There’s gotta be a pizza joint around here,right?”
Still staring off, she answers, “In the drawer by the sink is themenu.”
Remembering that she hasn’t had anything spicy for a while, I decide on cheese for half and everything on the other as I pull out the menu andorder.
Moving back to the couch, I ask, “Did you hear me readin’ to ya at the hospital?” I don’t miss the small flinch then deep exhale ofair.
Is it bad of me that I want her to get angry? That I want her to scream and pace and stomp on the floor like a toddler. I want her to cry—hell, sob—and hit me over and over again to get out the pain that she has trapped inside of her. It’s right there under the surface just begging to come out, but she’s holding it back. And I want it. May make me a sonofabitch, but I don’t give afuck.
“I heard something, but I’m not surewhat.”
At least the doctors were kind of right with the whole talk to her and she’ll hear you thing. “I read you the letters you wrote tome.”
Her chin falls to her chest as she presses her legs to the floor. “That was nice,” she says softly, her arms wrapping around her bodyprotectively.
I open my arms. “Come here,baby.”
The hesitation kills me, spearing me deep in the heart. Even the first time I met her when she was man-handled by those assholes, she melted right into me like we’d known each other for years instead of mere minutes. She held on to me like a life preserver, and I was the one keeping her afloat. The wait kills me, but eventually, she comes into my arms, curls herself into a ball, and I hold her like that, kissing the top of herhead.
We sit in this position until the knock on the door comes for the pizza. After getting the pizza on plates and handing it to her, she sniffs it then begins to put it in her mouth. The plate in her hand shakes and I’m not sure if it’s because she fears food or that she’s just weak. In the hospital, she didn’t eat much, but who the hell can blame her when that foodsucks.
I try small talk, but only get a few word answers. She asks me nothing and only eats once piece and is done. Me, I finish off the entire half. Never thought pizza could taste this good, but after the shit food for me too, I’ll take it. After eating, it takes every bit of energy for me to get Leah to do her exercises, but she finallycomplies.
“You really should go home, Green. You don’t need to be here.” Those words are the most she’s said to me since she woke up and, of course, it had to be about meleaving.
“Nope, you’re stuck withme.”
“There’s nothing you can do now,” she fires back with a small glint of anger, and I pull onit.
“Yep, I can feed ya, bathe ya, and take care of ya. So I’m staying.” I want her to fight back. I want her to get mad at me and try to push me out the door, but nothing. She gives a long sigh and falls to the bed where she sleeps for a fewhours.
This is our routine for the next few days. Her parents stopped by while I ran out for groceries, stating when I got back they had no more luck with Leah than Ihave.
I need to push her to talk about what happened. Not once since she woke up has she grieved for what was done to her. She tuned the doctors out when they talked about her injuries, and I understand why—she was dealt a shit hand. She needs to get it out, though. It won’t fix everything, hell it may not fix anything, but it will help open her mind to move on from this. At least the doctors confirmed those assholes didn’t rape her with some kit they did on her when she came in. One good thing out of thisclusterfuck.
It’ll make me a dick and she’ll hate me for it, but it’s what needs to be done. It’s a vicious cycle that keeps going around and around and around. I’m a patient man, but damn, this shit needs to beout.
She’s so broken inside, and I refuse to allow those fuckers to win and take my girl with them. Whether she’s pissed at me or at them, at least it will be some reaction instead of this walking zombie she is now. Leah is full of life and spark—she needs thatback.
