Page 23 of Bound by Affliction
The look of deep-rooted sorrow grips Green’s face. My parents leave us alone, and I’m scared of what to say to him. In letters, I never worried because words just came to me, most of the time. Now, everything is a mess and I can’t sort out words, let alone feelings forhim.
He sits in the chair next to my bed and grabs my hand, his warmth spreading throughout me like a lifeline. I take it needing to hold on to a shred of hope that this will not take me down. That there’s something inside of me that won’t be broken because of this, but it gets harder and harder to believe in the more I’m awake and the more the memories assaultme.
“How are ya feelin’?” I want to laugh because it’s an asinine question. What does one say—‘fine’? Because I’m not fine. Everything hurts. The memories are concreted in my brain. Images flash before me, and none of it goesaway.
“Peachy.”
Green chuckles, “Yeah, I know. Fuckin’ shit pisses me off, Leah, but they’re gone. They’ll never hurt youagain.”
Looking at Green, I see it in his face. Those three are gone—gone. Like never coming back—gone. After witnessing what the Ravage MC did for me and Bristyl at the rally, I have no doubt that what I’m seeing in him is true. Relief swarms me, but it doesn’t stop the visions. It’s rapid fire in my memory, every touch, every cut, every punch—all of them playing on a reel continuously. Tears fall from my eyes, burning as they fall down my cheeks to the bed belowme.
“Hey, promise you. Nothin’ is going to happen to ya. Swear it.” The confidence in his words almost makes me believe him. Almost. I want to, don’t get me wrong, but everything right now is too raw and too fresh. It happened once, what’s to say it won’t happenagain.
I’m not sure I’ll ever feel completely safe again. I’m not sure I’ll ever be right again. In fact, in this moment, I’m not sure ofanything.
