Page 19 of Bound by Affliction
6
Leah
Someone is talking almostlike they are reading something. The voice is soothing and hypnotic, but so faint it’s barely a whisper. I try to make out the words. Instead, I let the sounds lullme.
I feel like I’m in a dream, but I'm not. I feel like I’m floating, but I’m not. I feel like I’m conscious and aware, but I’m not. I can’t make heads or tails ofanything.
A peacefulness entraps me, holding onto me and giving me incredible warmth, yet the air around me is chilly and doesn’t feel quite right. How can I feel this sense of peace, yet around me feels like a tangledweb?
The confusion that hits me threatens to splinter the peace I’ve found, and I quickly push it away—not wanting to leave, not wanting to give up the serenity. Here, everything is happy and tranquil. No, I dig my heels in, not wanting to leave the place where no painexists.
The paper flutters between my fingers as I lift it and inhale the faint hint of motor oil and leather invading me all the way down to my toes. Never thought those two smells together would work, but man they sure do in a big way. The scroll on the paper looks like my doctor’s when he’s writing out a prescription, but Green’s is easier to read. At least I thinkso.
These letters have been a lifeline for me, each one building a stronger connection betweenus.
With a smile on my face, Iread.
Leah,
When I say you’re fucking beautiful, I mean you’re fucking beautiful. Lying and I don’t mix, get that straight rightnow.
You want to know something about me, huh? Already told you about the shop, and other than that there’s not much to tell. I’m a simple man. I have my club and my bike, everything else is just shit that takes up room. Some men are materialistic wanting stupid shit they don’t really need, and wanting to prove something to their idiot friends. You won’t find thathere.
You come to my place, there are empty rooms because they don’t need to be filled. There aren’t stupid rugs by the couch or those goofy ass pillows somehave.
Did I ever tell you I feel like a fucking ass like this? Yes, I have the last two letters. Movingon.
I want to take you on the back of my bike. You ever been on a Harley, feel it vibrating between your thighs? Best feeling in the world. The freedom, the clearing of your mind—all of it wraps together and gives off a euphoria you can’t experience without some kind ofdrugs.
Yeah, you need to ride with me. Sooner rather thanlater.
You said in your last letter that you’re feeling a little lost lately. Why? Is it because of what happened or is there something else going on? Talk to me. Better yet, fucking callme.
Writeme,
Green
Lost.Yes, I’ve been feeling utterly lost lately. Between school and my parents pressuring me to stick with a major and not change my mind, I am lost. Choosing the career you’ll have the rest of your life isn’teasy.
It wouldn’t be so bad if my parents weren’t on me every time I talk to them. I know they love me, but the pressure and thewe paid a lot of money for thisis getting out ofhand.
But Green. He is someone I really feel that I can confide in and lean on. There’s just this aura around him that begs you to tell him all your thoughts. Not sure if everyone feels that way, but I do. The calmness and reassurance in his eyes eases everything. They’re something I’ll never erase from mymemory.
On that thought, the calmness takes over and pure darkness finds me onceagain.
