Page 63 of Bound by Affliction
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Leah’s armswrap around me tight, her front to my back. I reach over and squeeze her leg, letting her know I’m thinking about her as the wind hits our faces. Riding. It’s always been a passion of mine, but there’s something about your woman wrapped around you on the back of your bike that you can’t put intowords.
It’s as if we are one. I tilt, she tilts. It’s natural, like she was born to be on the back of myHarley.
Every day she gets better and better, even going to the grocery store the other day to pick up a few things. She was smiling when she walked in the door, and that right there was worth a millionbucks.
Having a good woman at my side is something I’ve never experienced, and I’m damn happy that Leah is thatwoman.
The iron gates welcome us, still tattered and worn. We ride through the small driveways, and I know the destination by heart. Turning the curve, we stop, turning the bike off and getting off theride.
I hate that I have to come to this place to see the only blood I have. That instead of her, the stone stares back at me, waiting for me to talk. Leah grabs my hand, her hold strong. We make our way through the plots and arrive at Judith Michelle Burm. The stone is a gray and black mix with her name carved in a blockfont.
Leah squeezes my hand as she looks down to where my mother lay six feet under the ground. Fuck, she died way before her time. It still kills. The thoughts of watching her disintegrate before my eyes in the hospital until there wasn’t anything left of the mother I knew run onoverdrive.
She would have loved Leah and been on her like a mother hen. It’s part of my life that Leah will never know, and that hurtstoo.
“Ma, I brought my girl today. Wanted you to meet her.” Tears well in my eyes, but I bat them away quickly. “This isLeah.”
Leah quietly says a ‘hi’ but nothing else. What does one say to a stone and grass? I still don’t understand it and I guess I never will, but I just felt compelled to stop and let her meet mywoman.
“She would’ve loved you.” My hand gives Leah a squeeze. “She was a kickassmother.”
Leah’s hand comes to my chest as she looks up at me. “She is a kickass mother. Just because she’s not on this planet and you can’t physically see her doesn’t mean that her spirit isn’t around you all the time. You didn’t have to bring me here to meet her. She alreadyknows.”
Something catches in my throat, and I choke it down. Leah’s right. My mom lives inside of me. Damn, it’s hard losing the only parent you’ve ever known. Even years later, it still burns like it was yesterday. Yes, you move on and have new experiences, but you never forget them. Little things like putting toilet paper on the roll makes me think of her. She had this thing where the paper had to come out of the top and not hangdown.
Certain foods make me think of her. Holidays are hard, but I have an ornament with her picture on it that I put up at the clubhouse since I used to live alone. Now, I’m sure that tradition willchange.
“I just wish she was here to see you.” I shake my head and breathe out a hefty breath, pulling myselftogether.
“I wish that too.” She wraps her arms around me, hugging me tightly. The burn is still there, but Leah helps to sootheit.
After staying for a few quiet moments, we hop back on the bike and head south. This trip to Florida isn’t like the last. I don’t feel like I’m losing a part of me with each mile that passes; instead, I’m whole and happy. Leah turns me inside out and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do forher.
We pull up to a very well-lit house with gray-blue siding and a wraparound porch. I check the address one more time and shove the paper in my pocket. Leah climbs off and hands me her helmet with me not farbehind.
She visibly shakes and I wrap my arm around her, pulling her tight to me. “This what youexpected?”
Leah shakes her head. “No, I thought they’d get a two-story like before.” Her voice sounds far away, and I kiss the top of herhead.
The door flies open and her mom, Stella, flies out of the house and is to us quickly. She pulls Leah in and wraps her in her arms. Stella has tears falling down her cheeks. I knew they missed her, but they also knew she wouldn’t be coming backhere.
Aaron, her father, comes out with a wide smile on his face and his hand out to me, which I take. His grip is firm. “Goodtrip?”
“Thebest.”
His other hand comes up and slaps me on the shoulder. “Thanks for bringing herhome.”
“You should know by now that I’d do anything for this woman.Anything.”
He blows out a breath. “And those people who were at her apartment? Leah didn’t know anything when I talked to her on the phone, even though I asked many times. The police don’t know anything. I guess we have nothing left on them.” He sounds defeated and I hate that for him, but he can’t knoweverything.
The side of my lip tips. My girl keeping her mouth shut. Love it. “They’re taken care of. All of it is. No one will ever put a hand on Leah again.” I aim to put his mind atease.
“Good man,” he says, then turns to his daughter. “Give me some ofthat.”
