Page 22 of Bound by Affliction
8
Leah
Hands comearound my throat growing tighter and tighter against my skin, taking the breaths away from me. The thrashing back and forth does nothing, but it’s all I can do because I’m tied up. “NO!” It doesn’t sound like me though as I scream it over and over only to have him press harder crushing me. Darkness threatens to come and just before it does, he releases me and I gasp in much neededoxygen.
Pain cuts through me repeatedly as I scream to get them to stop, but they don’t listen and continue theirtorture.
“Leah!” I swear I hear my father’s voice calling my name, but he’s not here. I must be hallucinating. More pain cuts through my arm, my bodyjolting.
“Leah!” I hear again, this time closer, so close that I grasp for it, needing help and safety away from thepain.
“Move,” a deep baritone comes. “Leah, baby. Need you to open your eyes. You’re scarin’ the shit out of everyone, including me.” Green. It’s Green. He’s here. He’ll help me. He’ll make these guys go away. He won’t leave me alone here withthem.
“Come on, beautiful. Show me those eyes,” he says, now closer like he’s right in my ear. Voices and noises get louder, but I can’t shake the guy hurting me. I try to blink, but I can’t. I try to see Green, why can’t I seehim?
Screams. Lots of screams echo around me. My arms and legs are restrained, and I can’t move them though I try sohard.
“Leah, you’re safe. It’s me, baby. Not gonna hurt you, but you’re movin’ so much you’re pullin’ IVs out of your arms and you’re losin’ blood. Need you to wake up and look at me, baby. Need you to calm down so we can letgo.”
We? Who’s we? As much as I want them to let go, something is forcing my eyes to stay closed. It’s almost like there’s superglue on them not allowing them to budge.Please work,I willmyself.
Time passes as I struggle against the man hurting me, hearing his laughs and pleasure from my pain. I don’t want to be here anymore. Everything needs to shut off. The voices, the feelings everything. Juststop!
Warmth kisses the sides of my face as something gently brushes across my forehead. It’s not painful like the others. This I could have every minute of theday.
Slowly, my eyes open. Everything is grainy, crusty, and blurry. My eyes burn, only opening into slits. More screams echo aroundme.
“Leah, baby. You’re safe. Need you to stop screamin’,” Green’s voice soothes and I turn my body to him. He’s so damn fuzzy, I can barely make out his blondish brown hair. It’s only then do I realize that it’s me screaming and trying to move my arms only unableto.
“Leah! Listen. You’re safe,” Green says again, and my screams turn into whimpers as tears fall from my eyes, running down the sides of my face. “Good girl,” he says calmly, stroking the side of my face that I don’t flinch awayfrom.
“We’re gonna let go now, but you need to not movearound.”
Fear grips me hard, even with Green’s voice around me. Everything is a tumbleweed of replays in my mind, including Green and then… Another whimper escapes as I blink rapidly, trying to get my eyes towork.
“Stop!” My voice is nothing like I remember because it’s laced with so much fear it’s not me. “Green!” I call for him begging him to come help me. His shadow comes to me, and slowly Green comes into focus. Only then do the screams stop, along with my movements. Hands release me and I move them quickly, or at least as fast as I can because they feel very sluggish to cross my chest and pull my knees up. Bites of pain hit all over mybody.
“Green,” I whisper, his face coming more into focus, his gorgeous smile blindingme.
“Right here, baby. Righthere.”
Only then do the sobs rack my body as Green pulls me into his arms, holding me and keeping mesafe.
* * *
Thousands of antsmarch all over my body and under my skin, all remnants of hands touching me over and over again. The hot spray of the shower does nothing to make it stop. Having begged everyone in the room repeatedly, they allowed me to take a shower, but I have to sit on this plastic bench. The doctor said it was too soon for me to be in here, but I’m dirty—so damn dirty that I need it. What’s worse is I’m taped up with saran wrap all around my body to not get the deeper cuts wet. This doesn’t help in getting the filth off ofme.
“How are ya doin’?” Green’s voice comes from outside the small curtain as shame washes over me, wrapping me in a cloak of black. My body is covered with yellow, brown, and greenish color bruises, showing me every place they hit or hurt me. Slowly healing cuts mar so much of my flesh, there isn’t a spot on me untouched. Some of the smaller spots have healed over leaving scars, ones I know will be with me forever—a horrible reminder of what happened. Even taped, I can see everything through the clearplastic.
Tears fall down my face as the sadness envelopsme.
“Fine.” It comes outchoked.
“Liar,” he grumbles. “I’m sendin’ the nurse and your momma back in to get youout.”
Sighing, I say nothing because no matter how much water and soap I coat myself with, it will never wipe away the filth those men did to me. Never, because those memories keep playing in my mind like a never-ending movie that I want to throw out and burn to theground.
After being lugged out of the shower, Mom helps me dress and covers me before Green comes back in. My legs are weak and unsteady from laying still for so long, but the doctor says I’ll regain my strength in time with therapy. I feeluseless.
