Page 14 of Bound by Affliction
Bringing my hands together in front of me, papers still there, I stare down at her body. No way am I talking about what happened to her. Fuck that, she needs her memory wiped of all of that forever. Instead, I unravel the papers, pulling out the firstone.
“You know, when I got this in the mail, I didn’t have a fuckin’ clue who it was from considering you didn’t put a return address on the envelope. Cruz thought we should get it tested for anthrax.” I chuckle at the thought because he was damn serious. “It wasn’t until I held it up to my nose that I smelled you and had the biggest fuckin’ goofy grin, as the guyssaid.”
She doesn’t move or twitch, but I keep going. It’s all I have right now, and I’m not lettinggo.
“I took it to my room at the clubhouse and opened it.” Staring down at the paper, warmth hits me and I read it toher.
“Dear” The dear is then scratched out and it says, “Hey.”
“Guess you didn’t see me as a dear, huh?” I clear mythroat.
“This is so weird writing you, but I really didn’t have another way. Okay, so I did have Bristyl, but I didn’t want to go through her to get your address. Well, your club’s address. Shit, I’m totally botching this up.” I chuckle, “I bet you had your head in your hand when you wrote that. You do it all the time when you think you’ve said something stupid, but you neverdo.”
Continuing with the letter, “What I wanted to say is thank you. Thank you for helping me when you didn’t have to. I screwed up bigtime meeting Nick at the rally. I had no idea he was... well, like he was. Aggressive and an asshole. But you were sweet after holding me, talking me down. I still have the bruise on my arm from his tight grip, and I hate remembering it. I put both Bristyl and I in danger, and it won’t happenagain.
I’m getting sidetrackedagain.
Sorry.
I just wanted to say thankyou.”
There are several pen marks on the paper like she was tapping it, thinking at themoment.
“I’m sorry that I ruined your time at the rally. If I could go back and change my actions, I would. Just thankyou.
Leah.”
Looking at her face, I’d give anything to see her open her eyes. “You surprised me by writing me. I haven’t had a letter in years. And the way you put your address at the end, just told me I had to write you back.” Wiping my fingers over my lips, I smile at thememory.
“You couldn’t have known what Nick was capable of, but never again on a computer for you.” The thought of her even thinking of going on another dating site has my blood boiling, and I find the papers in my hands bending into my fists. I quickly fold them back in place. They mean too much to me todamage.
“That first letter I sent you was horrible. I don’t think I’d written a letter since high school and had no clue what tosay.”
Shaking my head at the memory, I recall, “What did it say? Right—‘Leah, don’t be sorry. Write back.’ I’m a damn poet, I tell ya. I never told you how much it meant to get one of your letters in the mail. While talking to you is wonderful, those letters meant the world to me. I was excited to get them, open them, and readthem.”
My hand rubs over my face as I shift a bit in the chair. “I’m ready for more letters. More phone calls, texts, and late nights,” I whisper. “I’m ready for you to come back tome.”
* * *
“Son,why don’t you go and get some rest.” Aaron’s voice barrels through my uncomfortable sleep, bolting me upright. Looking over at Leah, nothing has changed except another bag of clear liquid added to her IV pump, this onefull.
Looking up at the man, I nod in agreement. “Yeah, I should, but I’m not leaving Leah.” He’s right. I smell like shit, feel like shit, and can’t think for shit, but there’s nowhere I’d rather be than right here, rightnow.
“Admire that, son, but you’ve gotta take care of yourself if you want to take care of mydaughter.”
Rubbing my hand over my face, the sleepiness still invading, I argue, “I know that, just can’t bring myself to leave her or miss any smallmovement.”
“You love her.” It’s not a question, but a bold statement that I don’t have the answer to. I care deeply for her, is it love? I’m not sure because I’ve only ever loved one woman, and she fucked me over royally back in high school. I always said I’d never do thatagain.
Instead of answering, I remain silent and let him draw whatever conclusions he wants because I really don’t give a fuck at this point. When Leah wakes up, we’ll worry about stupid titles orwhatever.
“She’s going to have a long road ahead of her; not only physically, but mentally as well.” He tells me something I already know and while it should irritate me, it doesn’t. Instead, I grow great respect for her father, laying it all out there for me. “You ready for that,son?”
“We’re never really ready for anything that happens in life. We just have to hold on, try to make the best decisions, and pray that it all works out in theend.”
He clasps his hand on my shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze. “You’re right, but you can do everything you can to help it along. Including taking care of yourself. Take a shower, get something to eat that’s not from the cafeteria, and even get somesleep.”
Shaking my head, I suck in a deep breath. I pull out my phone and Jacks, one of my brothers, answers on the second ring. “Can you bring me clothes and somethin’ to eat to the hospital?” Aaron’s right, but I’m still not fucking leavingher.
