Page 48 of Bound by Vengeance
Oxygen will not fill my lungs, and my heart stops. Everything I’ve always wanted comes at the worst time possible. As is my luck, it seems.
“He does,” Emery continues when words don’t come for me. “He caters to you here. I’ve watched it. You need a pillow, beautiful? Or, You can cook for me every night, as he shovels in your food like he’s a starving man. Anywhere you want to go, he’s there, and it’s not because he was told to do so. It’s because he wants to be here, Austyn.”
Sucking in much-needed air, my brain tries to compute everything she’s telling me, but it feels like a hamster on a wheel, running around and around.
“He did you a favor by pushing that information out of you. Now your family knows, and you don’t have to hide it. You don’t have to feel that pressure alone. You have us to lean on. You want to be pissed at him now, so be it, but he did it from a good place, not being evil and vindictive.”
“Yeah, what she said,” Nox throws in, in typical Nox fashion, and a chuckle escapes me.
It feels good to have someone to talk to about this, there’s no denying Emery that one.
I sag further into the sofa, not knowing what to do. Be pissed, not be pissed. It sure does take a lot out of a person—being angry, keeping it up all the time.
My life is a tangle of webs that need to be untangled and let loose.
HE’S BEEN GONE for four hours. Nox has called him three times, wanting to leave, but can’t, because of me. I told him to go, that we’d be fine, but he gave me the evil stare in return. As the time ticks on, my stomach begins revolting, tying itself into knots.
“Would you stop pacing and biting that damn thumb,” Nox says gruffly, looking at his phone like it’ll magically ring any second.
Ripping my thumb away from my teeth, not realizing it was there in the first place, unease washes over me. Is he coming back? Is he hurt? Is he so pissed off at me he can’t be in my presence?
Time moves slowly, like the tick of the clock has taken way too much valium.
Five hours, and no Ryker. Butterflies swarm in my stomach.
Six hours, and no Ryker. My mouth dries. Drinking water doesn’t help.
Seven hours. Pacing the floor.
When the rumble of a bike can be heard, I dart to the window just as Ryker kills the bike and pulls off his helmet, shaking his head so the hair lands in a sexy way. He makes quick work of entering the apartment, and my feet lead me right to him. I throw my arms around his neck, letting the worry and anxiety fall away and enjoying the feel of him in my arms, safe and in one piece.
“Hey,” he says.
I don’t move. Instead, I squeeze him harder, and he kisses the top of my head. We stand there for long moments until I finally get myself under control and step back.
“I’m happy you’re here, but I’m still pissed at you,” I tell him then turn away, heading to the couch and falling without any grace.
“What the fuck, man?” Nox says, already moving toward the door. He loves me, but his life is busy and something he can keep to himself. “Been fuckin’ callin’ you for hours.”
Ryker pulls out his phone. “Yep, I see you have. Been ridin’; didn’t hear.”
“Next time, we’re setting a time limit.” Nox calls out his byes and is gone, slamming the door behind him.
Ryker sits next to me on the couch, leaving room between us. The space feels like a thousand-mile deep void, so close yet so far away.
He exhales. “When I was asked how you were, I answered honestly. That I’m worried about you, that you have something inside that is eating at you, and I need to help you—whatever it is—because I want to see the smiles and laughter again. That’s when your father called it. But, beautiful, I wanted Deke to talk, too, so I’m not puttin’ it all on your dad. Deke went to bat for you. That man is loyal to the core.”
I repeatedly twist my hands in my lap, listening to him, unsure of how to feel. I want to be pissed and smack him upside the head. Part of me wants to storm out of the room or yell at him, but none of that comes. The pain is there, though, like he sliced through my heart and soul, leaving me bleeding in front of everyone, exposing me for the horrible person I am.
“I’m sorry, Austyn.” He turns his body fully toward me, cocking his knee up and pressing it into the back of the couch.
“Would you have told me if I asked?”
“No.” The answer is immediate. I would’ve gone to the grave with it, which had been the plan all along. No one would ever know. It’s another reason JK needs to be dealt with. He can never reveal it.
It was going to be the one secret that would never come to light, but that was all a lie, which scares me.
“How do you feel now that it’s out there?”
