Page 33 of Bound by Vengeance
“Holy shit,” she whispers, covering her mouth while moving her other arm across her belly.
“Yeah. It’s a fucked-up thing that I don’t want any part of. But the thing is, once you’re in it, you’re in. James will keep you in at all costs. Getting out is difficult for some. There is so much brainwashing going on that my mother wouldn’t even know her name if he didn’t tell her what it is. It’s a shitty spot, but it’s where my mom wants to be.”
Austyn remains quiet, yet her leg begins to bounce. I know she’s trying to control herself from asking questions.
I continue, “The other fucked up thing is, when girls are sixteen years old, they are matched with male contenders to marry.
They don’t have much choice on who they marry, but most of the time, it is a cousin or half-brother of some sort, which is fucking jacked in my opinion. They don’t get married until eighteen, but are considered that man’s spouse right away. Samantha married our cousin, half-brother, and from what she said on the phone, they have two kids. She wants out and wants me to come get her. That’s what we’re doing.”
Looking over to Austyn, I see her staring at me. “Ask what you want.”
“This guy, James, is he your father?”
“Sperm donor, yes.” I fucking hate answering this shit, but it’s Austyn. I’d do anything for this woman.
“He’s a polygamist, and you have a shit-ton of brothers and sisters out there that you don’t know. Why is that?”
Staring out at the night sky, I watch it fade to black at the horizon, just like my situation—black, empty, unwanted. At least, that’s what I felt at the time. Fourteen and being pushed out of the only home you’ve ever known. Now, no. I just hate opening all this shit up. It’s like pulling a scab off a wound and letting it bleed all over again.
“At fourteen, I was kicked out of the family.”
“No!” I can hear her outrage, showing me that she cares. Love that. Wish it wasn’t for this, though.
“Yeah. I had lots of questions about what was going on and why people were marrying their families. Each question turned into another question. I was sent to camp where they try to make you think the way they do—brainwash camp—but it didn’t work. When I went back home, James told me to leave, that I was no longer wanted in the family. I left.”
“Where did you go?”
“Streets. It wasn’t pretty. Did drugs and all that shit. Stole to eat. You name it, I did it. Survival was the only thing on my mind.”
“And you did.”
“Abso-fucking-lutely. No way in hell I’d let that shit get me down.” It took a while. Fuck, a long while. I did it, though. I got over that rejection, learning it wasn’t worth my effort or energy.
It gets quiet. Austyn is staring out the window, breathing in and out.
I reach over and place my hand on her leg. “I’m good, Austyn. All that is my past. It’s just coming back to kick me in the ass, and I have to do what I can to get my family out of that life, if that’s what they want. I have another sister, Breanna, who turns sixteen in a month. I’ve warned my mother that she is to not have any men after her, which I know will happen, anyway.
I’m trying to decide what I can do to help her. She doesn’t need to live a life like this.”
“And your mother doesn’t want to leave?”
“Austyn, she’s so brainwashed she thinks James walks on water. She lives in a shithole, but it’s what James provides for her and what she wants to live in. I can’t force her to leave. I wouldn’t, anyway. If that’s how she wants to live, she’s a grown adult. My siblings aren’t. When Samantha married, I didn’t find out about it until afterward. With Breanna, I know now.”
“With Ravage at your back,” she adds.
“Yes, with Ravage at my back.”
She places her hand on mine that is still on her thigh and holds on to me, not releasing. Neither do I.
“And Samantha wants to get away and called you to come get her?”
“Right. Her and her two kids.”
She gives my hand a squeeze. “Didn’t expect this tonight.”
“No shit. Me, either.”
I need a smoke, but with Austyn holding one hand and the other on the wheel, it isn’t an option. I’m not moving, so I suffer.
