Page 9 of Bound by Desire
I take a calming breath. Even when she was a baby, I could never stand to see her cry. It’s not in my makeup or something. I’ve never wanted Emery to feel a single ounce of pain. This shit she’s spewing about dropping out of school, well, as much as this conversation hurts her now, it’s going to be worth it when she getsthrough.
I drop the animosity in my tone and make sure to give my sister the comfort she needs. “Emery, you’re smart and have a great head on your shoulders—use it. Dropping out isn’t an option, so suck it up and deal. You need a fuckin’ tutor to help you, tell me and I’ll send you the money for it. You need help from a teacher, I’ll do that, too. But you’re not quittin’ andgoin’home.”
“Deke …” she whispers in my ear with a crack in her voice. “I don’t know anyone here, which means, if I’m not at class, I’m in my dorm room. My roommate and I don’t get along, and I just hate it here.” At least I’m getting down to the nitty-gritty of the problem—friends.
“Isn’t Micah there with you?” Micah is Tug and Blaze’s son. Tug is a brother in the Ravage MC, and Blaze is his ol’ lady. Micha is the same age as Emery. Hell, I think Emery picked this school to go with Micah and not bealone.
It’s no secret that my sister has had a crush on him since she could walk. Lucky for Micah, he hasn’t shown any interest in her that way. Otherwise, I’d have to pound his ass into the ground. Still, Micah is Emery’s family. My sister should not feel alone when she hasfamily.
“I’m not talking about him.” She huffs in a way that tells me not all is well in their little world. Tough shit. Lifesucks.
“What.” It’s not a question; it’s more of a demand for hertotalk.
A long pause comes over the line, and I hear her sniffleagain.
“He has agirlfriend.”
Hell, didn’t exactly see that one coming. Back when I was home, Micah never kept his head out of a damn video game long enough to notice my sister was even there. He used to run into fucking walls because of it. Not to mention he made it clear he hated the club. That did not sit well withanyone.
Born Ravage, die Ravage, that is something you don’t question. Micah, though, he just didn’t seem fazed in the slightest by the club life. While guys like Cooper, me, and even Nox made plans in our heads about what it would be like to have our cuts, Micah only seemed to care about the next level on his game. His future was never about Ravage, even if it was in hisblood.
“Hisloss.”
She hiccups. Damn, she needs to call Austyn, our cousin, for this girl shit. I am not cut outforit.
“Emery, you need to meet some friends to hang out with. There has to be a chick in one of your classes that you can start talking to.” Listen to me giving my sister advice on how to make friends. Regardless, she’s the one damn person on this planet I’d do anything for. Even go up and pound Micah’s damn face in for being anidiot.
“It justsucks.”
I have no doubt that it does, considering she’s been surrounded by her family for her entire life. And I’m not talking me and our parents. No, I’m talking about the entire Ravage MC and their kids. There was always someone around to hang out with. You never had to be alone, unless you wanted to. Especially the girls. They were kept in a protective bubble of a sort, yet taught how to handle themselves. Meeting new people is out of hercomfortzone.
If I closed my eyes right now, I could go back in time to when it was easy. I won’t, but Icould.
Growing up there started off well, but it didn’t end that way for me. My choices came with deep consequences, the life altering kind. For Emery, it’s a huge adjustment that she needs to suck up and get used it to. Her strength will sustain her. It’s one of the reasons my parents wanted her to go away to school. They wanted her to be independent and able to take care of herself. I can see that. Now, she just needstodeal.
“Yep, but you’ve got this, Emery. I have every bit of faith in you.” I mean every fucking word of it, too. I believe in my sister. She has smarts, strength, and loyalty. She can get through this and come out better on theotherside.
“Thank you,” she says softly. “I want to seeyou,Deke.”
Four years of only talking on the phone, and she says the same thing during every conversation. As much as it guts me, I can’t. I can’t go back there. None of them understand, and I’m not about toexplainit.
“Someday,” I say, giving her the response Ialwaysdo.
“Yeah, someday. Bye, Deke.” She hangs up before I can say bye, and an ache in my chest forms. Tossing the phone to the table with a clatter, I run my hands throughmyhair.
Even if I could go back, being the man I am today, my father wouldn’t accept me. Not only did I leave abruptly, but even before that, I wasn’t goodenough.
“You need to get your shit together,” my father says, standing in the doorway to my bedroom. He’s been on my ass lately because of my report card. I only got one F. It’s not like they were all that way. Hell, I even got an A in class of them so that balancesshitout.
“It’sgood,Dad.”
His face grows stern, not angry, but in the way his cheekbones protrude and his eyes get focused. This always leads tobadshit.
“Good?” He steps into the room and closes the door. “You call getting a fucking F inSciencegood?”
“It’s only been a quarter. I’ll bringitup.”
“Yeah, you fuckin’ will bring it up. Until then, your ass is grounded to this room and chores whenever your mom or Isayso.”
