Page 41 of Bound by Desire
“Fuck.”
Her hands tighten in mine. I’m thankful for that small bit of reassurance, even if I should be giving it to her. “The chemo isn’t bad yet, but they say it’ll get worse as timegoeson.”
“You’ll beat it,” I demand with all mypower.
This time, her smile doesn’t reach her eyes, showing me her fear. “Yeah. Tell me about you. What are you doing? Where are you working? Do you have a woman inyourlife?”
“I’m a mechanic. Make decentmoney.”
She surprises me with, “You’refighting?”
“Yep.” I’m not stupid in thinking that I haven’t been looked into. I may not have been around, but the Ravage MC doesn’t leave things tochance.
Her brows drawtogether. “Why?”
“It’s part of who I am now, Mom. I get paid damn good for whatIdo.”
“Bet you do. Can’t see you takin’scraps.”
I smirk. “Never take scraps from anyone. That’s what you’vealwayssaid.”
“Right. You deserve the best.” She pauses, squeezes my hand, and then goes for it. “The drugs goneforgood?”
For some reason, it doesn’t irritate me coming from her as opposed to my father. “Yeah. Clean fouryears.”
“But you left fouryearsago.”
“Yep.”
“Then why’d you go?” She asks the question I don’t want toanswer.Ever.
I blow out. “Just had to, Mom. Not talkin’ aboutthatshit.”
She gives my hands a squeeze. “I wantyouhome.”
“I canvisit.”
“No, Deke. I want you home with your family. With me. I need you here,” shepleads.
Fuck. There is so much to me coming here that she has no ideaabout.
“Don’t know if I can do that, Ma. Got a life upnorth.”
“You’ve got family down here,” shecounters.
Family, the word churns inside melikeacid.
“You know damn well that none of those motherfuckers want me here. I was accused of hitting Austyn, for Christ’s sake. That’s how much they think of me. I’m not livin’likethat.”
“And I’m not going to fight for my damn life and not have my kids around. You’ve been gone four years too long, Deacon Alexander. You think they don’t want you here? Prove you deserve it. Prove you’re not who they think. Man up and pull your head out of your ass. I’m not having another family function without mywholefamily here. I’m not having holidays without myentirefamily here. No more missing pieces. You want me to fight? Then you fightwithme.”
I pull away from her and lean back on the bench, the weight of everything she just said laying heavy on myshoulders.
“Are you tellin’ me you’re not gonna fight this shit unless I’m here?” Talk about a sock tothegut.
She pierces me with her gaze, giving me the one she used to when she was angry with me or wanted me to listen. “I’m tellin’ you, your ass is here. Go get your shit sorted andcomehome.”
“That didn’t answer myquestion.”
