Page 30 of Bound by Desire
“This is my life, Charlie, and I’m good at it. Plus, Princess is paying me double what I make with Schade and is working around my schedulethere.”
His face softens. “Damn, she reallywantsya.”
“It appears so. That being said”—I rise from my seat—“need to practice, old man, or do you need a potty break?” I chide, seeing himsmirk.
“Get your smartass out there. Let’sdothis.”
Mind in the game, weworkout.
ChapterNine
Herewego.
We walk down the hall, with Cruz in front of me, and my father, Cooper, and Nox behind me. I’m not sure yet if this is a family meet and greet, or club shit. Either way, it just needs to get over and done with so I can put milesbetweenus.
All this pomp and circumstance. If they want to beat the hell out of me, I won’t go down without a fight. But look how many there are. Along with the shit-ton of them that stared at us the entire way in here. They could take me out. That’s a risk I took bringing Austyn here. I knew it, but I’m not sure it really sank in for her. Hell, maybe she doesn’t give a shit. That’s fine, too. Not saying I would have if she hadn’t shown up on mydoorstep.
Entering the room that was once Pops’ office and now is obviously Cruz’s feels strange. Like I don’t belong. It’s a feeling I know alltoowell.
“Sit,” Cruz barks as I stand behind thechair.
I’m not one of his men he can order around. At one point in my life, that’s all I wanted—to be part of this club, fit in, be a brother. Then that all blew up inmyface.
Cruz shakes his head and plops in the chair, leaning back in it casually. When my dad and Nox take a seat, I do, too. No need to make this worse than it already is. I already proved mypoint.
“Good to have you home,” Cruz starts, and my brow quirks. Good to have me home? These fuckers wanted me so far gone before, and they got their wish. Now he’s happy I’m here?Right…
“See you don’t talk much, boy,” my father says, elbows resting on his knees and head down, staring at the floor. “Youclean?”
I’d have much preferred a punch to the temple than for my father to ask that question. I’ve been fucking clean since I left Sumner. Was I fucked up? Hell yeah. But the second stint in rehab did me in. The fact my father can’t look at me and know I’m not high as a damn kite just proves he didn’t know me then, and he sure as hell doesn’t knowmenow.
Our relationship took hit after hit as the years went on. Sad, but it hasn’t changed andneverwill.
Instead of answering my father, I look at Cruz. “She showed up at my place with her face a mess. I let her crash for the night and brought her here. She didn’t tell me shit. Now, I needtogo.”
Cruz looks up at the ceiling, then slowly looks back down, eyes blazing at me. This is the man I remember. The ruthless, take no prisoners uncle who did the dirty work for Ravage. Looking up to him growing up was a mistake. It did nothing but make me want my place here more. It was all an illusion, this worldandme.
“Answer the question,” my father says from next to me while Cooper just eyes me, no doubt trying to read my expression. Good luck with that one, buddy. I learned a long time ago how to mask allthatshit.
I don’t owe these people a damn thing. I don’t owe anyone anything. It pisses me off that I feel the damn need to answer. What the fuck is wrong with me? I need to just get up and walk the fuck out of here. And notlookback.
“She’s upset, so go easy on her,” I say instead of answering again, turning to Coop. There’s so much I need to say to him. I fucked up royally with him, not that it matters. I can admit when I’m a dick, though. “Sorry about the shit I said when I was a kid. Not gonna make excuses. It was shit, and Iownit.”
Staring at him, I wait for some sort of signal that he heard what I said, but he gives me nothing, so Imoveon.
“Alright, I’m out of here.” I move to stand up, and my father rises with me, standing toe to toewithme.
“You’re just going to leave again and let me pick up all the pieces that is my wife off the ground? Your mother, Deke! She fuckin’ cries all the time … still! Do you not give a shitaboutthat?”
“There’s nothing for me here. My life is in Grayson. You go on with your life. I go on with mine. She’ll get over it, just like she didbefore.”
He steps closer, anger pouring off him. Something else is working behind his eyes. If I had to guess, it’d be hurt, but thatcouldn’tbe.
“You fuckin’ little shit. Get over it? She hasn’t gotten over it for a single fuckin’ day. Holidays are the worst. We don’t even like celebrating them because she turns into a pile of fucking tears. And I can’t stop them. Why? Because it’s all you. You’re notaround,Deke.”
He thinks I want this? That I want to hurt my mother? He doesn’t have the least bit of a clue. I’m not sure if that or his words piss meoffmore.
“Then man up and fix your wife, Dad,” I bark back as he throws his fist at me. I block and hold his hand firmly in mine. “Don’t.” I release him and push him back. Getting in a fight here is the least of myconcerns.
