Page 61 of Bound by Desire
“The guy you saw tonight is a dealer, high up on the food chain. My dealer, he’s pissed I’m back home because I’m not supposed to be.” His head falls back to the cushion of the chair. “I shoulda kept a lowerprofile.”
“Are you scaredofhim?”
“Me, no. What he can do to people I give a shit about,fuckyeah.”
I lift my head. “You’re gonna have to help me out here, Deke. Trying to get all of this, but you’re gonna need to spell thisoutmore.”
“Fuck, Ry. I should just takeyouhome.”
The words settle like a rock in my gut because there’s a finality to them. One I don’t like one damn bit. He’s pushing me away, not letting me in. Maybe he thinks he’s going to protect me, but I’m in this shit. There’s no going back. Furthermore, I don’t want out. I care for this man, and he needs a place to release all this shit he’s carryingaround.
“No. Talk to me. He already saw us together. There’s no going backfromthat.”
He runs his hand through hishair. “Fuck.”
At least he gets where I’m coming from. If that asshole is dangerous, I need the information. He saw Deke and me tonight. If he’s there for Deke, then he could use me to get to him. The way of the world is fucked up, but I’m not a dumbbitch.
He’s quiet, and it drags on for awhile.
I lift up and see his face is pained, like he’s reliving a part of his life that he never wanted to. One that made him into the man he is today. Not that it’s bad, but whatever it is, pains himhorribly.
He presses my head back down to his chest, resting his chin on top of it. “After my second stint in rehab, I was clean foraweek.”
I try my damnedest to keep my breathing steady, both happy and unsure about what I’m going to hear, but knowing it’s heavyashell.
“Went out with my guys. While I was there, I saw JK kill a kid about seventeen-years-old. He saw me, caught me, beat me, and drugged me. Threatened to hook Emery, Austyn, and Nox on the shit. Make it stronger for them. Force it on them if he had to. Told me the only reason he wasn’t killin’ me was because of my father. Knew who he was, what he stood for. Said when I was eighteen, I had to get the hell out of Sumner or he’d fuck with all of them. I disappear, he’dstayaway.”
There are a lot of questions I have about this scenario, so when he doesn’t continue, I nail himwithone.
“Why didn’t you go to yourfather?”
He gives a slight chuckle, but there’s no humor in it. “Tried. Old man wouldn’t listen. Told me I was worthless. He and I have a lot of bad blood, and it’s never been cleaned. He doesn’t want it to be. I had a few months before I turned eighteen. I went to my aunt Princess, had her start to train me. Went to Charlie’s. Started there every day and bidedmytime.”
“How did you know this JK guy’d follow through? I mean, not give your sisteranything.”
He sighs. “Didn’t, but I was young, a fuckin’ addict, and knew if I didn’t leave, he’d find me and fill me up with the drug again, because the best way to keep me doin’ what he wanted while I was in Sumner was to keep me doped up. Knew he didn’t want me around because I was a witness. Somethin’ told me he wouldn’t fuck with Emery, Austyn, and Nox because that would be too coincidental in life—all four of us gettin’ hooked on the same shit. Would put him under radar. Ravage’s radar is the last place he wantstobe.”
My brain works overtime with the pieces of thepuzzle.
“You don’t think the MC went looking forthisguy?”
“Don’t know. Never asked because I was gone. Started a new life. By the time I got my head sorted, there was no reason for me tocomeback.”
“How do you know theydidn’t?”
“Talked to my sister a lot. Knew everyone was good because she woulda told me that shit right out. Kept tabs, but didn’tkeeptabs.”
“So, you left toprotectthem?”
He breathes in deep and lets it out. “That was mythoughtsthen.”
“Andnow?”
“Fuck if I know. Part of me is pissed at myself for not making my father listen to me or going to Cruz. But I can’t go back in time, and I can’tchangeshit.”
I shift a bit in his hold. “Why do you think he was theretonight?”
“Warning.”
