Page 58 of Bound by Desire
“Because, you left her once and missed four years. She beats this shit, you’re not gonna waste any more time. Not only that, I hear you have agirlhere.”
This catches my attention. I should’ve known they’d have someone digging into me. Wouldn’t surprise me if it was Cooperhimself.
“Leave Rylie out of this shit,” I growl, not liking her name brought up in anyofthis.
“Got no problem with her. She fuckin’ works for us, Deke. Just know you’ve got somethin’. Don’t see you wantin’ to jump ship on your mother and her anytimesoon.”
I don’t, but fuck. Getting back in the club life is the unknown. This can’t be anoption.
Shit,canit?
“Know you got a shitload of cash in the bank and probably don’t needtowork.”
I growl again, anger bubbling in my veins. “Stay out ofmyshit.”
Cruz chuckles. “Nah, it’s better this way. But we need you here. Starting as soon aspossible.”
“Since you checked into shit, you know how muchImake.”
“Yep, and you’ll be compensatedthesame.”
Fuckme.
“I’ll thinkaboutit.”
“No isn’t an option. It’s family, Deke,” Cruz says, dippinghischin.
I take it as my exit. I don’t look back as I get the fuck out of there. I need a drive and aheavybag.
Fuck, I’m getting sucked back into the Ravage MC. This isunexpected.
* * *
“You don’t haveto do this,” Rylie says from the passenger side of mytruck.
After leaving the clubhouse and thinking, the anger inside me started to flow over like hot lava. I tried going to the gym and beating it out of the bag, but it didn’t help. That’s where I saw Rylie and took her up on the offer to go see her guy Schade at the fight club. I need to get this aggression out and settle down the demons insideofme.
Fuck, this is bad.Reallybad.
Crawling out of an unknown bed, the weight of the night hits me like a concrete block, forcing me to sink below the surface of thewater.
I didn’t use. I know I fucking didn’t, yet the drug is in my body, surging through my veins, almost out of mysystem.
I’ve felt this enough times to know. If only I could figure out why I feelthisshit.
I made a vow to myself after the second stint in rehab that I wouldn’t touch the stuff, no matter what, I was going to pull myself together. For one week, I’ve been able to hack it and staystrong.
Last night, some guys from school wanted to go out. Nothing exciting, just some racing down on the dirt on Corner Road. We were just going to watch, and thatwascool.
It wasn’t until much later thathemade his appearance, one I couldn’t avoid. No matter where I turned, he was there. I even told the guys I needed to head out. They were with me, but they needed to make their rounds before we could go. They were tight with most of the peoplethere.
If I would’ve stayed in my place and not left, I wouldn’t have seen it. I wouldn’t have been knocked out. And I wouldn’t be feeling like I’ve been run over by a bus this morning. I wouldn’t have this craving sofiercely.
The problem with addiction is it never ends with just one hit. Withdrawal is hell. This feeling, though … having shit in my system, I swear I didn’t put it there. It’s a loss of allcontrol.
I drag my ass to my buddy’s and clean up before I head home. I need to talk to my dad. He’s the only one who can tell me what to do and how to play this. I know I’m in trouble, because that asshole won’t stop. His threats ring throughmyears.
Pulling up to my house, I look in the mirror. My eyes have turned back to white, but bags show how exhausted I am. I hope like hell he can’t tell I was on anything lastnight.
