Page 49 of Bound by Desire
“Yeah.”
* * *
Emery criesin my arms as I absorb all her pain, or at least attempt to. My mother surprisingly has held herself together well throughout. Her strength is admirable, because she must be scared as hell. But the only thing she’s giving us is she’s happy to have her two kids under thesameroof.
If that’s what she needs to hold on to right now, then sobeit.
My father has stayed fairly quiet this entire time, though his disapproving glances at me come often. That man used to be my idol. Now we can’t stand to be in the same room as each other, yet we’ll need to get along, at least in front of my mother. She doesn’t need to worry about us, which I know she will. That’s her way. The least I can do is lessen the blow and not have it in her face. Hopefully, my father can dothesame.
“Okay, I’m going to make lunch, and then we’re going to sit at the table and eat,” my mother says,standingup.
“You don’t need to be cookin’ today,” my father declares, and my mother shoots him a look to kill, shuttinghimup.
“I’m cooking for my family.” When she turns and walks out of the room, my father looks at Emery and me, then followsherout.
Emery pulls away, wiping the wetness from her face and sucking in air, trying to pull herself together. “Well, thisisn’tgood.”
“She’ll beat it, Emery. Gotta be strong for her and hold your shit togetheraroundher.”
“Right. I’m transferring here to communitycollege.”
As much as I hate the thought, Mom will want it. “But you stay inschool.”
“Yeah,Iwill.”
“Comeon.”
She rises, takes my hand, and pulls me out the front door, around the back, and to the old swing. This swing has been around for years and probably knows more secrets than anyone can count. I even spent my fair share of time out here, sitting and looking out over the yard. Our parents’ home sits on an acre and a half with treesaroundit.
This swing was a calm among the storm more times than I can count. It’s also a place where I’d take my hits when no one was home, making those great feelings takeaturn.
Starting the drugs was a huge mistake, one that I’ll never live down. Doing them here was another mistake. I tainted this placewiththem.
Emery sits and I follow, the wood creaking under my weight. It’s old and in dire need of some care. I make a mental note to try to do that for my mom. She loves this swing, and it means a lot to her. Again, it’s the least I can do. All it needs is a good scrub, some poly,andWD40.
“Are you staying for good?” Emery asks, looking out among thetrees.
“Can’t answer that. One day atatime.”
Being here is a risk. I can only hope that he’smovedon.
“Guess it’s better thannothin’.”
We sit out on the swing for an hour, and I learn several things about my sister’s life at school. It’s as I expected. Going from people all around you to no one is a difficult thing. Now, though, that the decision is made for her to come home, she’s a little unsure about it. My reassurances she’ll be alright get me asmile.
Lunch is tense. Sitting at the table again after four years of being absent knocks me somewhere deep. A place I’ve locked up for many years. Looking around at my parents and sister, though, it starts to shatter. It takes everything in me to keep it from burstingthrough.
Emery talks enough for everyone, telling our parents about her life and what her decisions are from this point on. My dad gets this soft look on his hard face when she talks. I’m glad she has that. She’s got the whole daddy’s little girl thingdownpat.
Leaving isn’t easy, but at five, I’m ready for a break. I drive by a couple of properties and somehow end up in Rylie’sdriveway.
Rylie’s door opens as she walks out. Fuck, she’s hot. Dynamitedistraction.
Bombshell.
ChapterFourteen
“This is asurprise.”
