Page 4 of Bound by Desire
* * *
“Deacon, my man,”Cory greets, holding outhisfist.
I bump it then move to set my cooler down on the workstation. I’ve worked at Jerry’s Garage for a couple of years now. One thing I enjoy is working on cars and bikes. Luckily, I’m damn good at it. So good I’ve moved up to master mechanic at the shop and have been one for ayearnow.
It also means I’m in charge of the guys, which doesn’t bother me. One thing I got down pat is an intimidating presence. The guys listen for the most part, which makes my job damn easy. When they don’t,Ideal.
“What’s on the schedule this morning?” I ask Cory as a few more of the guys come in. I give them fist bumps as theywalkpast.
“Harley. The dipshit who owns it decided to change the turn signals himself to some flame looking aftermarket shit. Only, he cut his brake lines when trying to sort the wiring. Don’t ask me how he did it, but hedidit.”
“Why would anyone customize a base model sportster? Most people consider this a chick bike or beginner’s ride,” I ask more tomyself.
He huffs, shrugging his shoulders. “Hell if I know, man, but it’s a day of rewiringforyou.”
He runs down the list of vehicles in line for the day, while my mind keeps going back to the Harley. My father taught me about bikes as soon as I could fucking walk. I’ve ridden for as long as I can remember. Mostly out back of the Ravage MC Clubhouse on a trail theguysmade.
My gut twists at the thought of home. Well, it’s not home anymore, and I’ve fucked up too badly to even go back. Not that Iwantto.
“You’re just going to walk away?” my father growls menacingly enough that shivers go down my spine. At eighteen, he can still terrify me at times. “This is your family, and you’re justleaving?”
He doesn’t understand. He can’t because he doesn’t have a clue, and I’m not going to explain it to him. There’s no point. The outcome will still bethesame.
“I have to, Dad. It’s the only way I’m gonna stay clean.” I keep my voice firm, steady. The drugs are a poison I can’t have in my veins again. I need to stay away from the toxic shit. That’s the truth, and really, this is all my father needstoknow.
I stay here, I stay on the dope. I stay on the dope, I’m going to die. There’s no coming back from death. Whether he can see it or hear it, I can’t get wrapped up in it. I know what the fuck I havetodo.
The door was open for him to listen. I opened myself and tried to tell him. All he could see were the bloodshot eyes and the shakes as my body detoxed once again. He didn’t want to hear what I had to say. There was no choice. There is nochoice.
“Why? Here, your family cansupportyou.”
I want to mock him. I want to tell him that’s not what he said before. Idon’t.
He stands to his full height with his arms across his chest. Even though I’ve been training with my aunt, Princess, I don’t think I could take him on yet. More so, I don’t want to. He’s had too much anger inside of him for me for the past few years that it’ll all explode. Some of it, I deserve. Others, Idon’t.
“I get that, but I need to do this on my own. I’m not the man I need to be, to be part of this club.” It kills me to say those words, but it’s the truth. All I’ve ever wanted was to become a member of the Ravage MC. It’s all I thought about since I can remember. But acting like a punk kid and doing stupid shit isn’t going to get me in the brothers’ good graces. Not only that, but staying will only cause the brothers more trouble. It’s not worth it. It doesn’t matter what I want in life, this club isn’t in mycards.
And they all talk about family. Well, this is the best thing I can do for my family. Whether they can see it or not, I’m nogoodhere.
“I’m going.” I mimic his stance, trying to let him know I’m not backing down from this. Also trying to convey I’m not scared, when in fact, I am a bit. Too many variables are at play right now. I just have to get past my father, then the rest will fall intoplace.
“You’re gonna do this to your mother? Your sister? Your fuckin’family?”
I wish he could see, but he’s blinded by family obligation, loyalty, and afather’slove.
“It’s not about Mom, you, or Emery. It’s about me. I gotta get strongforme.”
God, this kills. Never in my life have I wanted something so badly than to get the approval of my father. This right here will sever any chances I have of that. Ever. There’s no going back and mending fences. It’ll be better for all of us in thelongrun.
“You gotta get strong? You damn near broke us, and you gotta leave for you?” He points to the door. “Get the fuck out of here and don’t come back until you man thefuckup.”
I left that day and never went back. Left the only family I’ve ever known, came here, and built my own. I may not be the man they want me to be, but I’ll damn sure be the manIwanttobe.
ChapterTwo
The soundof flesh hitting flesh permeates the air, saturating it, riling it, feeding it. The vision of blood only makes the way too pumped up crowd even more crazed. The electricity in the room is like a lightning bolt, ready to sting at any given moment. The confined space of the rundown basement in the warehouse adds to the heatfactor.
Every bit of this a combination for trouble. Majortrouble.
