Page 11 of Bound by Family
About six months ago, Leah signed up for an internet dating website. She had high hopes of meeting someone, but instead, she gets propositioned with some crazy stuff.
“Alright. What has love chosen for you today?”
“Oh shit, there’s like, seven messages.”
I stare up at the ceiling, her clicking of the keys the only sound in the room. “You’re hot, what do you expect?”
She is. Long, dark hair, a kickass body, and stunning brown eyes. Why she wants to look for love on a dating site is beyond me. To each their own. I’m here for moral support and the laughs.
“Oh, my God!” Her hand flies over her mouth, and I sit up instantly, looking at the screen.
An image stares back at me. It takes me a moment to digest it. A woman is lying on her back, legs up, knees on either side of her face, ass in the air. A man is sitting on top of her, legs spread while reading the paper, both naked. It looks like he’s taking a shit on her.
“What the hell is this?”
“Apparently, this is the ‘butter churner.’ It’s a sexual position this guy wants to do to me.”
I burst out laughing, unable to hold it in. It racks my body so hard that I shake uncontrollably. “What! He wants to shit on you and read the paper?”
She scrolls down through his message. “He says he likes having his women sit like this. His dick inside her, while he sits and either reads the paper or watches television.”
“Like a damn chair? Don’t they make some kind of blowup doll or something for that?”
“Hell if I know. Wouldn’t it, like, break a guy’s dick to just sit in that position? I mean, he’d have to, like, push his dick, like, straight down. How is that even comfortable?”
Laughter bubbles in the room, bouncing off the walls and echoing back. Tears stream from my eyes, and my stomach clenches.
“How does this relate to a butter churner? Where would that name even come from?”
Leah hiccups her laugh. “I don’t know. Maybe he likes to circle his hips or move up and down. Oh, my God, this is just nuts.”
“So, he’s out.”
“Ya think?”
I fall back on the bed. “What else did ya get?”
She clicks around. “A marriage proposal and five date requests. Oh, Lord …”
“What now?”
She brings the laptop over to me and sets it on my belly. I read:I want you to whip me and spank me. Make me drink your piss. I’m your slave; you’re my master.This guy didn’t send a picture, thank goodness, but his profile picture is so fake.
“Leah, that guy is a model. I’ve seen him in magazines. There’s no way this is legit. Someone is yanking your chain.”
She lies down beside me and looks at the picture. “No way.”
“Lord, the things we do for entertainment. You’re not going on any of those.”
“I know. It sucks. Where are the good men?”
“Damned if I know.”
* * *
Bang… Bang.
My eyes flutter open at the sound. I look around, noting I’m in my small living room, lying on the couch. I must’ve fallen asleep. Naps are my friend, not that I get a lot of them.
